Cat covered her eyes with her hands and groaned. What the hell was she going to do? It had always seemed so clear before. Avoid emotional entanglements. Since Shane, everything had been a muddy mess. She punched her pillow and had just folded it in half under her head when a familiar voice echoed down the hall.
“I’m here for Mary Catherine Thomas, please.”
Cat closed her eyes. Mom was here. So much for being left alone with her thoughts.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but the patient prefers to be alone for the time being.” Courtney’s tone was polite but firm.
The voice that followed was firmer. “Well that’s unfortunate, young lady, because I’m her mother, and she doesn’t have a say in the matter.”
Cat worked up a smile and sat up right before her mother barreled through the door.
“You’re getting too old for this, Mary Catherine. And frankly, so am I.” In spite of the bluster, Cat could see the worry on her face.
Courtney stood in the doorway and sent her a questioning look.
“It’s fine, she can stay, thanks,” Cat said with a nod.
When Courtney left, her mother turned back to assess her ankle with narrowed eyes. “Does it hurt badly?”
“Not too much, no. The doctor will probably put it in a temporary cast to stabilize it and then I’ll have to get it casted for real at the orthopedic surgeon’s tomorrow or the day after, depending on the swelling.”
“I’ll drive you.”
“I can drive mys—”
“I said, I’ll drive you.” Fire crackled in her mother’s green eyes and Cat knew better than to argue. “Now tell me, what happened out there? Galen said you saw a rabbit?”
“Yeah. Came out of nowhere. I guess I was distracted and before I knew it, I was ass over teakettle.”
“You’ve been riding way too long to make such a rookie mistake. You should have been more aware of your surroundings, and you never swerve for an animal if you don’t know what you’re swerving into unless it’s—”
“Unless it’s a bear. I know, Mom.”
Kitty’s ginger brows gathered into a thunderous frown. “Well if you know so much, missy, tell me what it was that had you so damned distracted that you nearly killed yourself?”
“Just work stuff,” she hedged, reaching for her cup of water.
“And Shane.” It wasn’t a question, which was odd since Cat hadn’t told her about the two of them, and Galen wouldn’t have said anything…
Suddenly it hit her who would have. “Mrs. Decker. What, did she call you and tell you about us?”
“That’s not important. What’s important is that the two of you talk and try to work this out. Shane is as unhappy as you are, and for what? Because you’re afraid to settle down?”
She quashed the little flutter in her heart and gave her mom the stare-down. “I’m not afraid to settle down, Mom. I like the idea of having one person to come home to.” She swallowed hard, Courtney’s words playing over in her mind. “What scares me is that I will lose myself completely. Like you did.”
Her mother drew back, a frown wrinkling her smooth brow. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m terrified to not have anything of my own and have my happiness dependent on the happiness of everyone around me.” She swiped her good arm across her tear-filled eyes and met her mother’s stricken gaze. “And I’m scared to wind up with my violin on a shelf in the corner of the study, unplayed, gathering dust.”
“Is that what you think of my life?” Kitty’s voice shook with emotion. “That I’m some martyr who sacrificed my dreams to marry your father and stay home with you kids?”
Cat moved to stop her. To take it back, because hearing it come from her mother’s mouth made it sound so awful, but Kitty held up a hand.
“Answer me. Is that what you think?”
“Kind of.” So why did she feel so silly about saying it now? “You always looked so wistful whenever you went into the room and touched that case. Are you going to tell me you didn’t compromise and give up what you love for your family? That you didn’t change everything for us?”
“I can’t believe, all this time, that’s what you thought.” Regret filled her mother’s her face. “I didn’t change for you, Cat. I just…changed. The things I felt were important shifted. Violin will always be a part of who I am. I can still make music whenever I want to. I don’t need people to clap for me to feel accomplished. I’ve had a million other successes, compounded by you and your brother. The sense of pride I feel when Galen wins a fight or you sell a new piece is no less than I would feel if I’d done it myself. And to be honest? The two of you are almost more excitement and adventure than my heart can take.” She reached out to pet Cat’s hair with a loving hand.