Down and Dirty(40)

“Oop, you got your wish,” Lacey mumbled around a mouthful of lettuce and cheese. “She’s off his lap now. They’re getting up.”

The small acoustic band that had been playing folk music in the corner had just switched it up to something slow and jazzy and from her peripheral, Cat could see several couples make their way to the small, makeshift dance floor.

“Are they going to dance?” she whispered urgently, keeping her eyes locked on the bowl of honey-roasted peanuts in front of her.

Lacey opened her mouth to answer but Cat turned and smashed her hand over Lacey’s lips before she could. “Wait. Don’t tell me. Just wink.”

Lacey pulled away from her grasp and rolled her eyes. “Can’t I nod or shake my head instead? You know I’m not a good winker.”

“I don’t care what you do. Just don’t say it out loud. I don’t want to hear it.”

She knew it was silly, and totally irrational, but that had been par for the course from the second she’d gotten into his bed. She was losing her mind. If this was what opening herself up to a person and letting them in felt like, she’d been right to avoid it. So far, it sucked.

“Well, I’m not sure what to do in this situation,” Lacey murmured. “They’re not dancing but…”

“But what? Are they leaving? Are they holding hands? Does he have his arm arou—”

“Hey, Shane!” Lacey said, louder than necessary. She slid off the barstool to stand with Shane and his date, who, Cat realized as she spun her chair around, were directly behind them. “And you must be Courtney. So nice to meet you. I hope we didn’t make things awkward for you guys.” Lacey’s smile was so sweet it could have charmed the pants off Willy Wonka.

Courtney smiled back, her perfect white teeth gleaming like freshwater pearls under the fluorescent pendant lights. “Not at all. It’s good to see that he has friends who care about him so much that they want to check out his dates. Only a good man would inspire such loyalty.”

So not vapid. In fact, her hazel eyes sparkled with intelligence. It figured.

Cat remembered her manners and held out a hand. “Cat, nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” Courtney said, taking the proffered hand and shaking it lightly before releasing it.

“Where’s Galen tonight?” Shane asked, seemingly unconcerned when Courtney slung a casual arm around his trim waist.

“He’s out with Rafe. They worked all day installing a new hot tub at his place, so Rafe took him out to eat. They’ll probably end up here eventually.”

“We’re actually on our way out,” Courtney said. “Going to hit a friend’s art showing at the gallery on Ninth and then…” She shrugged a bare shoulder.

And then? What the hell was that supposed to mean? She could feel the fake smile frozen on her face, which was good, because she was a hairbreadth from a snarl. She picked up her beer and took a long swallow.

You wanted this. This is all on you, she reminded herself.

“Yeah, well, you two have fun,” she said, and resolutely turned her attention back to the peanuts.

“You guys, too. See you Monday for game night?”

Cat felt the heat of his gaze, but still didn’t look up.

“If not sooner,” Lacey said and stood to hug Shane. “Drive safe.”

A minute later, they were gone, and Cat broke eye contact with the nuts. Oddly, even they seemed to be judging her from their lofty little bowl. “Well, that was fun,” she muttered under her breath.

“Was it? Because it didn’t look fun from where I was sitting,” Lacey said with a grim twist of her lips. “I don’t understand you, Cat. You guys are obviously crazy about each other. Would it be so bad to admit that and give it a try?”

Cat shook her head and slumped forward to rest her chin in her hands. “I don’t even know anymore. I feel like I can’t win. I’m miserable now, but I’d be even more miserable if I did give in. There’s no halfway with a guy like Shane.”

“Some guys are worth the whole shebang, Cat.”

She leveled her friend with a sharp stare. “Are they? I’m not sure I agree.”

“Well, I’ll tell you one thing.” Lacey balled up her napkin and tossed it on the bar. “If that’s the quality of women they’re managing to pull over at MeetMyMate.com, you’d better figure it out before it’s too late.”

…

An hour later, she was at her workstation, Seinfeld on the TV for background noise, Lacey’s words still ringing in her ears. For the first time since she bought it four years before, her tiny house felt too big. Too quiet.