Explaining that to Lacey was going to be the dicey part. She’d already been nagging her lately about her commitment issues, and Cat knew if Lacey got wind of the fact that Shane had admitted to wanting more, she was going to get all up in her grill about fixing them up for real. Nothing would make her happier than to have them all settled in, right and tight, as a happy little foursome. Double dating, sharing recipes, making quilts…or worse, making babies. Together forever. And ever. And ever. Like her parents.
Ugh.
She loved them dearly, and while they both seemed content with their lot, her mother had given up a promising career as a concert violinist, moving from New York City to Rhode Island when Cat’s father had been transferred. Once Galen was born, she’d made the decision to be a full-time mother and wife. At various points over the years, when times were lean, she’d made extra money teaching snobby fourth-graders their scales, but for the majority of Cat’s life, her Stradivarius had remained in its case on a shelf in the study, like a rectangular urn full of dreams turned to ash. Every so often, Cat would catch her mother standing in front of it, trailing a loving finger over the worn leather with a wistful smile.
Panic trickled down her neck, settling at the base of her spine like a parasite. She broke eye contact, instead focusing on the lemon-yellow walls of the kitchen. Odd how the color that usually cheered her made her want to hiss like a vampire faced with daylight. When she looked at Lacey again, her friend’s arms were crossed as she waited for a response.
Time to bob and weave. “I, uh, I don’t really think much was said afterward. Hell, I don’t even know how it happened in the first place. Before I had a chance to second-guess myself, it was to the point of no return, if you know what I mean.” She waggled her brows in a move meant to add levity as well as to fluster her reserved friend, but it didn’t work. Lacey eyed her speculatively.
“So you mean to tell me, the first time you guys are together, and—by your own admission—within a very short period of time, there was a ‘point of no return’ for you? That’s pretty spectacular out of him, no? Psychic high five to Shane.” She swung her hand in the air to mimic the gesture and frowned. “So why do you look less than impressed?”
“Well, first off, we don’t even like each other. I mean, he all but told me I was immature, and I flat-out told him he wasn’t my type. I live life on the edge, I like spontaneity and fun. He likes…whatever the opposite of that is.”
Lacey glared at her. “Does that description remind you of anyone else you know?”
Belatedly, Cat recalled that Lacey was made from a similar mold, and the two of them had been best friends since grade school in spite of the fact that they were polar opposites. “Yes, but at least you let me do me. He was like my self-appointed guard dog after Galen left. Do you know how many times he ruined my fun that year? I can’t have someone thinking they’re going to control me.
“Plus,” Cat said, ticking off on her fingers as if there were so many things wrong with the idea of the two of them together, they required counting, “say things did get serious.” Never. Gonna. Happen. “He lives halfway across the country. My job isn’t something I can just up and leave. I’ve worked too hard to get where I am to walk away now. Not to mention, I’ve heard him say more than once that he wants a big family. I don’t want babies at all. Talk about cramping my style,” she added with a snort.
Lacey’s tone went soft and wistful. “But they smell so good. That sweet baby scent. And those chubby little wrists and ankles.” She turned to face Cat, eyes brimming with sudden, unshed tears. “I can’t imagine not wanting one.”
“Jesus, why are you crying? Did something happen?” Dread formed a knot in her stomach, and her own mini-drama took a backseat. She stood to take her friend’s hand.
“No, no, I’m fine. It’s just…” Lacey snuffled and shook her head with a watery grin. “It’s so silly. We, ah, haven’t exactly been trying, but we haven’t been using any protection for the last few months since we both want to start a family soon. But nothing’s happening and I’m afraid I’m—” She bit her lip and turned away.
“Hey, sweetie, stop that. Do you have any reason to believe that’s the case? I mean, everything normal with your monthly and all? Have you been feeling okay?”
“Yes, it’s just… We do it all the time. Like, a lot. Constantly. Your brother is very s—”
“Okay, I’m drawing a line in the sand. TMI. But I get it, you guys are active. Still, it takes a few months to get the Pill out of your system.” She gave Lacey’s arm a reassuring squeeze. “I’m sure it will be fine. If you want, make an appointment, and I’ll go with you and hold your hand. Or an ankle, even, if need be.”