"Well then, he's the only one," Trey muttered.
Myrna chuckled.
"I want to hold him again," Brian said, following Jessica around the room as she continued to repeat herself incessantly. "You can hold him as much as you want after I'm gone."
"Oh God, I want one," Jessica said, hugging the baby before handing him back to his father.
"Are you sure you mean that?" Trey said.
"Yes, I mean it," Jess said. "Look at him. He's perfect."
"I'm telling Sed you said that. He'll have you knocked up in an hour. Even though he's over twelve hundred miles away."
"That's some serious potency," Myrna said.
Jessica hesitated. "My caseload at the practice is too heavy right now. I don't have time for a baby." She leaned against Brian and stared down at the tiny bundle in his arms. "Okay, fuck the job. I want a baby."
Myrna laughed. "Shouldn't you wait until after your wedding? You've been planning it for months."
"Maybe Sed and I should do what you and Brian did. Just elope. I thought I wanted a big wedding, and Sed's family wants us to have a big wedding, but even with an event planner helping us out, it is so stressful."
"Do you want a big wedding, Jessica?" Myrna asked.
"Kinda," Jessica admitted.
"Then have your big wedding or you'll always regret it."
Brian perked up. "Do you regret not having a big wedding?"
Myrna smiled. "Not at all. I didn't want a big wedding. I just wanted you."
Oh God, not the Brian/Myrna mushy mushy love stuff. Trey wasn't sure if he could handle it today.
"Maybe I should just get pregnant now," Jessica said. "I won't be showing too much in three months. I should still be able to fit into my dress. Or I could get it altered." She looked down and rubbed both hands over her flat belly.
Oh God, shoot me now, Trey thought. Babies, weddings, and pregnancies. What will they be talking about next? Their periods?
Dare finally managed to make it into the room to greet his guests. "How are you doing, Myrna?" he asked, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. "You look gorgeous as usual. Are you sure you just had a baby?"
She beamed. "Oh, I'm sure," she said.
"Harold's bringing your glass of water and some other refreshments. I told him to hurry."
"Thanks, Dare."
"No problem. I hear you named that poor kid Malcolm Trey." Dare nodded his head in the direction of Brian and Jessica who were competing for Malcolm's complete lack of attention.
"It's better than Malcolm Terrance, isn't it?" Myrna asked. Terrance was Trey's real first name, but even Myrna knew how much he hated it.
"Uh, sure," Dare said. He turned toward the two kissy faces, who were undoubtedly driving little Malcolm bonkers. "Well, let's have a look at this kid. Apparently he's the biggest star in the house."
Dare slipped the baby from Brian's hold into the crook of one arm. The guy was a natural at everything. Even holding babies.
"Will you look at that? He already has his father's rock star hairstyle."
"He's adorable," Jessica crooned. "Yes he is. Yes he is. Adorable."
Trey was beginning to feel sticky from all the sap in the room.
"When do we have to leave?" Brian asked, coaxing Malcolm out of Dare's arms and back into his.
"As soon as Reagan gets back," Trey said.
"Reagan?" Brian, Jessica, and Myrna questioned in unison.
"Trey's new girlfriend," Dare said.
"Trey has a girlfriend?" Brian said in disbelief.
"Yeah," Dare said.
"Trey does? That Trey." Brian pointed at Trey.
"Yes, I have a girlfriend. Is that so hard to believe?"
Brian nodded his head. "Yes, it's very hard to believe. You've never had a girlfriend in your adult life."
"Never?" Jessica questioned, trying to get Malcolm to grip her finger in his fist.
"Depending on how you define girlfriend, I have dozens of them. Had," he rectified.
"The series of women you string along in every town aren't girlfriends; they're conquests," Brian said.
"Well, Reagan is my girlfriend. And she's going on tour with us."
"How long have you known this chick?" Brian asked.
"We met yesterday."
"And did you decide she was going on tour with us before or after you fucked her?"
"Brian, don't be crude," Myrna said. "You asked me to marry you the day after we met."
Brian scratched his head. "You're right," he said. "As usual."