Double Dealing(26)

"Yes I have," Jordan said, her tears disappearing and her face brightening as she thought about Felix's words, and caught the meaning that I hadn't. "And I think Felix is right. You need me still, and if anything, as a guide. I know the Southern California area better than you boys do. You need me still."

I looked in her eyes, and I knew she was just going along with Felix's lie in order to stay with us longer. Looking at my brother, I also saw in his eyes that he was intentionally lying to himself as well. "We’ll see. Jordan, would you please excuse my brother and me? We need to talk outside."

Felix was about to object, but I took him by the arm. "Please, brother. It’s important."

Felix looked down at my arm, then at me, and nodded. "Fine. Jordan, please excuse us.”

Outside in the chill, I waited until we were far enough from the cabin so that our words would not easily be overheard before turning on my brother. "What the hell was that, Felix?"

"What do you mean, Nicolae?" Felix replied, using my Roma name. I growled and shook my head.

"Dammit Felix, you know I hate when you call me that. I am Francois, not Nicolae. You only use that when you want to start ordering me around."

"I only use it when you are acting like an asshole," Felix countered. "That I have to use it so often is frustrating to me too. What is the problem?"

"You are the problem, Gudada," I hissed, using his Roma name in return. "In case you didn't notice, you just promised our hostage that we would take her with us when there is no reason to. Your explanation and her reason are shit, and you know it."

"I made a decision based off of the situation we are in," Felix replied evenly. "I see no reason why my reasoning is flawed."

"Perhaps because you’re taken by this girl and are too damn blinded by it to recognize that," I returned. "She sheds a few tears, blinks her eyes at you, and you crumple like a piece of tissue paper."

"As opposed to Francois, the ladies man?" Felix replied. "Despite what you tell her, I know the truth, Francois. You've left broken hearts all over the globe in our travels. Or should I start with their names?"

"Enough, Felix," I spat, turning my back. "You're letting your heart get in the way of your brain."

"And you’re lying to yourself as well," Felix returned. "You would not have charged through the woods half naked and waving a butcher knife to just come after me."

I turned back, my hand raised to knock the hell out of Felix, but the look in his eye stopped me. My brother had twenty pounds of muscle on me, and we were both equally trained. There was no way I'd get a blow in. His hands were ready at his side, and his eyes were glinting in that way that I'd come to recognize. His mind was made up. "She is a good woman, Felix. Better than the likes of us."

I turned and went over to the Jeep, opening the door before slamming the door behind me, effectively ending the conversation. Felix looked at me through the window for a minute before going back into the cabin. Through the window I could see him and Jordan talking, then she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him before practically skipping into the back room.

I thought about Felix's words. Was I really in denial? I had to admit, his admonishment that I'd slept my way around the world was more accurate than I'd like. I'd had quite a few lovers in my time. But was that so bad? I lived the life of a thief, not knowing if the next target was my last. Despite what Father had tried to teach us, I had no faith that I would be able to get what he had, a loving family and dying in his bed peacefully.

To add on top of it, I was Rom. Perhaps the only people in Europe more reviled in history than the Jews, we'd been persecuted our entire existence. Even now, seventy years after the Germans had tried to wipe us out, we were still facing the same fight as we were lumped in with refugees from the Middle East wars, rounding us up and blaming us for the problems they'd caused themselves. With that, was there any reason to think there was a purpose to life other than today's enjoyment?

It wasn't that I didn't have feelings for Jordan. She was a beautiful woman and certainly spirited. I shook my head, wiping my hand through my hair and wishing we'd never run into Jordan Banks. But there was part of me that said, once again, I was lying to myself.

Getting out of the Jeep, I closed the door behind me and went back inside. Felix had laid the swords on the table, each of them gleaming in the dim light from the windows and the stove. "What are you doing?" I asked Felix, whose face was impassive, with no traces of our argument in his eyes. "I thought we'd prepared them already."