But that vision was so extreme, so win-or-lose. And it didn’t have to be that way. There was nothing that said that all that would come true, that that terrible vision of the future had the name “Mandy” emblazoned on it. I was in love, and when you’re in love, babies are natural. Even more importantly, when you’re in love, you have to make compromises and compromises come from both sides of the table. So suddenly, I sat up, alert and filled with energy.
“Rebecca,” I said firmly. “Oh wait, should I be calling you doctor something?”
And the counselor shook her head.
“No, because I don’t have my Ph.D yet,” she laughed.
Oh right. I chuckled myself. God, it felt so good to laugh, a load lifting off my chest, my ability to breathe unhampered, birds twittering in the air. But of course, that wasn’t true. I was still in a windowless room in the campus medical center, it was just that new possibilities had opened. And I hadn’t known it, but these possibilities had always been there, had always beckoned to me, promising, whispering. I merely had to step forward and embrace them.
“Rebecca,” I began again. “I want to thank you because you can’t imagine what you’ve done. I’m not sure what the answers are, but I feel like … I don’t know, I feel like there’s a path forward. Or not one path forward,” I corrected, “but multiple paths, or blended paths, or maybe I have to carve out a new one.”
She nodded, smiling at me.
“Exactly, there isn’t always a right road or a wrong road,” she reminded gently. “Just like there isn’t a blue pill or a red pill. There are many different roads, and you can take any of them and be very happy.”
I jumped up then, heart beating fast. Because I had to talk to Pete, I had to get Mr. Parker on the phone and tell him about all this. Most of all, I had to tell him that I loved him and that we should be together, somehow, some way. I didn’t have the answers, but we’d figure it out, together as lovers.
“I have to go,” I said quickly. “This has been amazing, I can’t tell you how helpful you’ve been, thank you, thank you, thank you, I really appreciate it.” And with that, I bolted from the room, Rebecca’s laugh ringing in my ears.
“Don’t forget to fill out the questionnaire,” trailed her voice behind me. “We’d appreciate the feedback very much!”
And I nodded although she couldn’t see me because I was already running back to my dorm. I had to talk to Pete the sooner the better, now if possible, and it couldn’t wait. My heart was bursting with adoration, with excitement, with possibilities … because I loved him so much it positively hurt.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Mandy
I threw open the door to my apartment, breathless, running into our common living area, eyes wild, panting. I just needed a little privacy, I was going to go into my room and shut the door, dial Pete on the land line and have a real conversation with the man. Except my feet came skidding to a halt because he was here. Right here, sitting on my living room couch chatting with Jane, my roomie, like nothing was the matter.
“Oh Mandy,” sighed Jane, a blonde bombshell from Texas, “Mr. Parker was just telling me that you worked for him over winter break taking care of his daughter. She probably looks just like you, right Peter?” she cooed. “The tot must be irresistible, just like you,” the woman flirted.
Immediately my hackles went up. What the hell was Jane doing sitting so close to my man? My ears steamed, there was probably smoke coming out of them as I glared. Because my roommate was one of those girls who has two sides to her. When males are around, she’s so nice, making like we’re friends, pretending to be a sweet girl. But when it’s only women, or worse, when it’s just me, she turns into ice, a snowman with an icicle for a heart.
But of course, with an attractive alpha male on our couch, the blonde was once again doing her Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde act and acting all sugary and nice.
“Oh let me get you some brownies,” she simpered, standing up and tugging down the front of her sweater so that your eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to her breasts. “Mandy and I made them together, it was such a roommate bonding experience.”
I forced myself to keep calm. Actually, I’d made the brownies and Jane had just pulled them out of the oven at the set time, but there was no way to state that calmly without sounding like a bitch myself. So I took a deep breath and focused on the alpha male.
“Peter, what are you doing here?” I asked. “I didn’t expect to see you. Is Violet okay?”