CHAPTER NINETEEN
Laurie
I sat in the library, my laptop open on a huge, wooden desk, far from any other users. I typed in “Tucker McGrath” and held my breath as the machine hummed. And sure enough, a dozen results popped up.
“Internet billionaire bad boy does it again!” screamed one headline.
“Will McGrath break the new economy?” blared another.
And the worst: “Tucky Tuck gets his duck on with Laurel Hardy,” read the caption with a picture of Tucker, handsome and arresting, blue eyes piercing, in a tux with a beautiful woman on his arm. The skinny blonde was the opposite of me, ten miles tall, thin as a whip, with perfect make-up, perfect hair, her lips painted in a wide crimson smile.
And I died inside, absolutely shriveled up and withered to nothing. It was like Tucker had had been playing with me, stepping out of his “real” life to have some fun. Because the real Tucker seemed to be someone else completely. The “real” Tucker was a self-made entrepreneur with more money than God and a taste for fancy things, be it the latest sports car, luxurious yachts, or expensive vacations. And there were pictures of all this on the web, all of them with a different woman, a different perfectly made-up, camera-ready model with a set of manicured fingernails and a smiling, lipsticked mouth.
I’d never felt more dumb. Why hadn’t I googled Tucker earlier? Why hadn’t I done like normal people do and get on the internet immediately, searching for anything and everything about my new guy? I guess it was because I didn’t want to jinx myself, I was so traumatized from my marriage and divorce that I didn’t want to open up any closets and face the skeletons, I wasn’t ready for that. So instead I’d gone the opposite route, sticking my head in the sand, seeing only what I wanted to see, willing myself to believe in the fairy tale.
But I cursed myself because there’d been so many signs, the luxury apartment, the friends who didn’t exist, the way Tucker never batted an eye about money. I shook my head, defeated. Even the wine we drank each night was expensive, there was no way a delivery man could afford even that. Shit. It was my own fault, and I only had myself to blame.
So I sat back, my shoulders trembling, the air heaving in my chest. I’d packed a suitcase and had it with me now, the little travel-sized case humble and tiny. And the thought of my drab, bare apartment on the Lower East Side was depressing, but at least it was still mine. I dreaded going over there, dreaded letting myself into that lonely, cold room, but the library was closing soon and I’d have no choice. Suddenly, a ring jolted me from my stupor. Picking up my cell, I saw that it was my mom.
“Hi Linda,” I said, speaking quietly into the receiver. “Let me go outside.” Slowly, I tiptoed out of the reading room and into a common area filled with light and the buzzing sound of conversations.
“Hi Ma,” I said a little louder, standing in a corner, plugging up one ear with a finger. “I’m at the library so I can’t talk long, but how are you? How’s your vacation going?”
“Hi honey,” squealed my mom. I held the receiver away from my head, wincing. So much for my warning, Linda never took instruction well. “How are you baby?” she trilled. “I haven’t talked to you in so long!”
My mom had been sailing the world with her new beau, a silver fox who wined and dined her like no tomorrow. But Charles was genuinely nice, and I was glad my mom had someone to spend time with.
“How are you hon?” repeated my mom. “I’ve missed you! Tell me everything,” she gushed.
“Well, you know I’m divorced now,” I started slowly.
But my mom just pooh-poohed.
“Oh honey, Gary was never right for you. I know you dated two years and all but some people are able to keep things hidden for years, for years baby. Remember that douche Michael that I dated back in ’05? He was in the mafia and I didn’t even know until after we broke up.”
I winced at that one. Linda was still beautiful at forty and had dated non-stop since I was two, my dad leaving when I was just a baby. And I agreed, the whole mafia situation had been unbelievable. We’d thought Michael was an insurance salesman, a totally blah white-bread dude, but instead he turned out to be not Michael, but Massimo of the Valetti Crime Family, a hired assassin who’d committed countless atrocities. And as the kicker, it was only when the FBI came knocking that my mom and I found out.
But the situation with Tucker was different. I mean, Michael being a hitman was so far-fetched to be almost ludicrous, straight out of a movie. But my life was no movie, and the current situation didn’t have a happy ending.