“Fuck that,” the blonde said bitterly. “WTF, who wants to bike through snow? I had no money, that was the real reason, ‘my health’ be damned. So tell me why you have this,” she said sternly, shaking the card again. “Seriously girl, if you’re hard-up, I can help, I’ve been saving like mad the last two years.”
I sighed.
“Tan, I would never do that to you, neither of us make much working for the city,” I said wryly. “You need every cent you earn. We both do,” I said. “But seriously, the card is legit. It’s owner … is letting me borrow it,” I stumbled, a blush rising to my cheeks.
“Borrow it?” asked Tanya, again staring at me over her glasses. They were funky green today, studded with rhinestones on the sides. “What does ‘borrow’ mean?”
“Well, he, I mean Tucker, is letting me access his credit for the time being,” I said lamely. “You know, I’ll pay him back and stuff.”
But Tanya just shook her head, not believing my lame explanation for an instant.
“Out with it,” she said, her bony fingers clutched around the card. “I’m looking for an excuse not to go back to work and this is it. So out with it, the whole story,” she commanded.
And I shook my head, helpless. I knew my friend. She has a good heart but was like a bloodhound sometimes. Once she had her nose to a scent, she didn’t let go, following a trail relentlessly. So I gave in and told Tanya everything, of how Tucker was my delivery man, how I’d ordered shampoo my first night and slept with him that same night.
“Holy shit,” said Tanya, wrinkling her brow. “You fucked your delivery man without knowing his name?” she said in a semi-loud voice.
“Shh!” I hushed her, looking around, embarrassed. Fortunately, NYC is a loud place and no one could hear over the cars rushing past, the din of other diners’ conversation. “Sort of, well yes, I did,” I admitted.
There was silence for a moment before Tanya whooped.
“You go girl!” she shrieked, reaching out for a high five. I clapped her palm, unsure exactly what she was referring to. But my coworker was only too happy to elucidate.
“Honey, you’re young, you’re pretty, you should have as much hot sex as you can,” she advised, nodding her head approvingly. “Take it from me, I’m fifty-five now and no guy wants me,” she said. “I’m all skin and bones, dry and aged, only a blind guy would be interested.”
I protested, still looking around, hoping no one could hear us. Fortunately, everyone else seemed too into their own conversations to care.
“Tanya, of course men are still interested in you, you’re an attractive woman,” I protested. “But seriously, can we talk about this later? Not now,” I said in a hushed voice, still looking around furtively.
But unfortunately, my co-worker has never been known for her discretion. Instead, she carried on in a loud voice.
“And rich too, this ‘Tucker McGrath’ is a rich man,” she said out loud, looking at the Visa admiringly again, watching as the sunlight glinted off the metal surface. “Man, you got yourself a good one, only millionaires carry this baby.”
I sat stock still for a moment, unsure of what I’d heard.
“Excuse me?” I asked slowly. “What do you mean, ‘millionaires’?”
And Tanya looked up at me.
“Oh Laurie, you’re so naïve,” she cackled. “Seriously, you’ve never seen this card before? Well, I guess not, there aren’t too many people in city government who’d qualify for this gem. This is a J.P. Morgan Palladium card, honey, the real deal. You can only get this if you have ten million under management with the bank.”
I was completely still, completely silent, my heart beating hard.
“Ten million?” I repeated, my mouth dry.
“Ten million,” confirmed Tanya. “And the average cardholder has a net worth of something like a hundred million. Trust me, I’d know,” she said ruefully. “My first ex had one, and I used to get to use it.”
My mouth dropped open now, looking like a dead fish, lips blubbery and wide. Slowly, I took the card from Tanya’s hands, my fingers sliding over the cool metal, the deep grey burnished with a rose hue.
“It must be called the Palladium because it’s plated with palladium metal, isn’t it?” I asked, more to myself than anyone else. “That’s what gives it this pink color.”
And Tanya nodded sagely.
“Yep, you don’t know much about money but at least you know your periodic table,” she smirked. “Look it up on Wiki, you’ll see. But honey, I thought you said you were dating your delivery man. How in the world did a delivery guy get a card like this? It’s his name on it, right?”