I blinked. “But, what about your--?”
“I’m a grown woman, Clint. I know how to make a budget and stick to it. I know how to set money aside and find ways not to touch it if that money can’t be touched.”
“I never said--”
“And as far as having no qualifications goes? That isn’t even kind of true. Sure, you might not have a stamp of approval from teachers and such. But you have talent you can capitalize on. You’re a writer, sweetheart. And do you know what the most wonderful thing in the world for a writer is?”
I paused. “What?”
“Travel, Clint. The best thing you could do for your writing is to travel.”
37
Raelynn
I sat in my bed, scrolling through all sorts of things on the internet. And all the while, I thought about Clint. I wanted to call him. I wanted to text him. I wanted to see how he was doing. But I also suspected he didn’t want to hear from me. Not right now, at least. So I dove into the list he gave me. That typed-up piece of paper that held so many options for me.
And the one I kept gravitating back to made me curious.
I searched through airfare and hotel deals online. I looked up how much it would be to rent a car in some places and jotted down a budget on the back of that sheet of paper. The only option on his list that gave me any sort of peace was traveling. Working, and traveling, and living off just what I needed. Things were still expensive, though. I’d have to dip into the money I’d saved up in order to get to a few places. But I did find a lot of ways to cut costs.
Like booking rooms that were cancelled at the last minute. And using coupons for Air B&Bs. And taking trains all around Europe instead of being hellbent on flying.
Walking around instead of always taking cabs.
The suggestion to travel had worked its way underneath my skin. It took over my dreams last night as I tossed and turned. I couldn’t shake it either. I figured once I drew up a schematic of the costs of something like this, I’d be swayed away from it. Back to the original plan of going to college. Getting a degree. Living my life by the book.
But the more I researched, the more I found myself trying to make it work.
I mean, no teachers? No homework? No stressing out about midterms or deadlines or schedules? It sounded like a damn dream. Learning on my own time by submerging myself into an atmosphere I’d never get in a classroom. And it wasn’t as if the traveling and the working and the learning would cost me that much more than college. The thought made me excited. Not anxious, like school always had.
But what about Clint?
Adding another person to the traveling picture automatically increased all the prices. Airfare. Food. Cab rides. Even train tickets. I wouldn't be able to foot the bill on my own. Not by a long shot. And I knew Clint felt compelled to stay behind and help take care of Cecilia. I couldn't blame him for that, either. Not after she took him in as her own.
The thought of leaving him behind to travel made me sick to my stomach, though.
I made a list of all the places I wanted to visit. London and Galway. Belize and Rio De Janeiro. Costa Rica and the fields of Scotland and those tulip gardens I always saw online. They were located in the Netherlands, I found out. So I added that to my list. There were so many places I wanted to see. So much I wanted to learn. So many places where I could apply the skills I already had to scrape up some extra cash to do extra things. Like indulge in the country’s finer foods and go on train tours around Italy’s wineries and sip all their fantastic blends.
Clint would enjoy something like that.
I sighed as I flipped over to airplane flights. I started typing in some of these locations, seeing how much it would take for me to fly out of LAX. Most of the prices were what I expected. Especially for one-way international flights. But I did come across one particular airline running a deal on their international flights.
Specifically, to Rome.
“I wonder how long that’s lasting,” I murmured.
I started reading the fine print. And with every word I devoured, my soul soared with delight. Holy shit. They were running this special for all sorts of international flights. Ones to the Polynesian Islands. Others to Australia. And the Rome flight? It was less than half the cost it usually was for business class. My stomach burst to life with butterflies. The deal lasted for the next week. That meant that if I played my cards right, I could be in Europe in four days.
“Four days,” I whispered.
I smiled at the thought. My soul felt at peace and my heart felt fuller than it had in, well, ever. Tears of happiness rushed my eyes. And as the feeling overwhelmed me, I slid out of bed, stood to my feet and shook my arms out, trying to expel the excess energy that had crept up in my body. Rome. In four days.
This is what going to college should feel like.
I hadn’t understood this excitement Michael and Allison had for their future until now. I paced my room and continued scrolling through my phone. I bookmarked the purchase page for those flights and started looking up hotel deals. Bungalows in the area. Comparing prices and drawing up a mental budget in my head.
“Yes!” I exclaimed.
Air B&B had a fantastic deal on a studio apartment with a great view. I favorited it and flipped back over to the freelance website. One of the many Clint had jotted down for me. If I could get my English tutoring thing up and running, even if I worked the bare minimum required for the site, that would cover my train tickets all around Europe. A few cab fares, too. That meant my travel costs would drop substantially and give me more wiggle room with my initial budget.
“Oh, my gosh,” I whispered.
I rushed out of my room and ran down the stairs. I tucked my phone into my bra and scrambled to get my purse. I pulled it over my shoulder as I ran around downstairs, making sure I had everything I needed.
“Honey? You okay?” Mom asked.
“I’ll be back later, love you!” I exclaimed.
Then I ripped the front door open.
“Be safe, honey! Text me when you get--!”
“I’ll call later, Mom. Bye!”
“Where are you going!?”
I didn’t bother answering her question.
I ran up the street, making my way for the exit of the neighborhood. With a renewed sense of vigor flooding my veins, my legs pumped as fast as they could go. My lungs filled with fresh air as I turned the corner and rushed across the street. I didn’t know how long it would take me to run to Clint’s. I didn't know when I’d get there. I had to talk to him, though. Face to face.
And I needed to do something with this excess energy I’d never experienced before.
Unless I was around him, of course.
38
Clinton
“Hey, Ma!”
“Yeah, Clint?”
“You sure it’s okay that I use your car for the afternoon?”
“Yep! I’m just going to be around here cleaning. And I have another dinner date tonight, so feel free to stay out if you want.”
I grinned. “He picking you up?”
She popped her head into my room. “He is. Why?”
I peeked over at her. “You not wanting me to meet him yet?”
“It’s not like I’m keeping you a secret. But we aren’t at that point where I want to start introducing him to family and all that nonsense.”
“Well, make sure he treats you right. Because if he doesn’t--”
“Yeah, yeah. I know the rundown.”
I smiled. “Good.”
I didn’t know much about this man Ma was dating. Well, other than the fact that they’d been doing dinner a lot lately. She seemed happy enough with him. Which was all that mattered. But the idea of her dating someone she didn’t want me to meet did rub me the wrong way. I knew it wasn’t an insult or anything. Just her taking things slowly. I just didn’t want her misjudging someone and ending up with another man like my father.
Gotta give her more credit than that.
I was envious of her, really. For being able to have the strength to move on like she was. I would’ve never been able to do that. Hell, I was still having a hard time doing that. And I never proclaimed to love my father. There were moments where I wanted to do nothing else except call him. Talk to him. Get some sage advice he’d been holding back his entire life. There was nothing more I wanted than someone guiding me through this life. Showing me the path I needed to carve for myself.
Ma already gave you that advice.
I sighed. I knew I wasn’t being fair to her. I don't know, I guess I was just coping with the idea of never having the kind of father I wanted. The kind of father I needed. And that would take time. Either way, I was looking forward to heading over to Mike’s. I needed some guy time after the shit from this weekend. I was glad he’d called. Though, I’d kind of hoped Rae would have called me by now.
Just give her space. It’s what she needs right now to make her decision.
“Clint?”
“Yeah, Ma?”
“Rae’s here for you.”
My eyes widened and I leapt toward my bedroom door. I stared down the small hallway and saw her standing there, sweat dripping down her brow. Ma handed her a glass of ice water before ushering her in. I couldn't believe my eyes.
Rae was here.
“Why are you so sweaty?” I asked.
She chugged the ice water back before setting the glass down on our small kitchen table. She was panting. Still sweating. And as Ma went to refill her glass, she walked toward me, her eyes never leaving mine.