Then Clint did the same to me, making me giggle as his tongue slipped across the roof of my mouth.
It felt so good, having him there. In my arms. Wrapped up in me after so many tense nights together. Things hadn’t gone according to any plan after prom. And it was the little things keeping us all hinged right now. We all knew it, though none of us wanted to talk about it. It was disappointing when Clint announced that, after all the hard work we all put in, he wasn’t going to apply for college. Even with a 2.9 GPA, I knew he stood a chance. Especially with his senior grades showing how he finally applied himself, and how it paid off.
But, no matter what I said, I couldn't convince him to apply for school.
Much less for the school I got accepted to.
“Mmm, I don’t know about you, gorgeous. But I’m ready for ice cream.”
I giggled. “Why are you so sweaty?”
Allison snickered. “I take it you haven’t gotten your air fixed yet?”
Michael scoffed. “Fine. Fine. Blame the terrible traffic on me. It wouldn’t have been that bad in my car had we not been stuck in it for an hour.”
I furrowed my brow. “What in the world made traffic stop like that? You guys were just at Michael’s right?”
Clint kissed my forehead. “Doesn’t matter. We’re here now. What would you like to have?”
Allison and I placed our orders, then the guys headed inside. I sat down, making enough room for Clint as I scooted over. I kept my eyes on him as they walked inside. As they ventured up to the counter. As they ordered our milkshakes. I didn’t want an ice cream cone that would melt all over my hand before I could get the damn thing eaten. I had watched Clint struggle with one too many of them over the course of this summer.
And yet, he didn’t seem to learn.
Because he came out with the biggest ice cream cone for himself I’d ever seen.
“A double fudge brownie milkshake for you,” he said as he handed me my drink.
“And a massive waffle cone for you, I see.”
Allison reached for her milkshake. “Thank you, baby. I really appreciate it.”
Michael kissed her cheek. “Of course. Anything for you.”
And after watching Michael kiss Allison on the cheek, Clint kissed me on the cheek. Like he was getting his cues from him.
Like he didn’t know what the hell to do otherwise.
Michael sat down. “So, what have you girls been getting up to?”
Clint sat down, too. “Yeah. Any good conversations we should know about?”
Allison giggled. “You guys never gossip about your conversations. Why should we gossip about ours?”
Clint smiled broadly. “You owe me twenty bucks, man.”
Michael rolled his eyes. “Really, Allison? You had to take that approach?”
I furrowed my brow. “Wait, what just happened?”
Allison paused. “Did you idiots bet on me again?”
Michael pulled out his wallet. “I mean, really. I would’ve figured I knew my girlfriend better by this point.”
Clint snickered. “Your loss is my gain. Pay up.”
I narrowed my eyes. “You guys have never bet on me before.”
Michael snickered. “Because you’re completely unpredictable.”
I cocked my head. “Thanks?”
Allison murmured, “Yeah, well. I don’t like this at all.”
Clint took the money from Michael. “Plus, I like you unpredictable. Keeps me on my toes, gorgeous.”
But, again, he didn’t kiss me until Michael kissed Allison.
I mean, I loved the fact that Michael and Clint had grown close. I liked the fact that they hung out and had their own inside jokes and were there for one another. Michael had been a good influence on him. Definitely. Plus, Clint’s anger kept itself in check the more time he spent around Michael. Clint hadn’t flown off the handle once since the two of them became connected at the hip.
But, still. Something didn’t feel right.
“So who’s looking forward to the road trip?”
Michael’s voice ripped me from my trance and I took a sip of my milkshake. Leaving room for Allison to butt in.
“Well, I’m looking forward to it. Two hotel rooms for the weekend? We can celebrate and have a great time while Rae’s doing orientation.”
Clint slipped his arm around me. “Ready to get the lay of the land, gorgeous?”
I nodded, but I didn’t stop drinking my milkshake. Which made Michael chuckle.
“Chug that any quicker and you’re going to get brain freeze.”
Allison giggled. “Leave her alone. We’ve been sitting here sweating our butts off for almost an hour waiting on you guys.”
Michael kissed her temple. “I’m sorry we were so late. Had I known traffic was going to be that bad, I would’ve just walked it.”
Then Clint kissed my temple. And the action was so stunted and empty that Allison furrowed her brow.
“You okay, Clint?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. You just seem… off?”
Michael grinned. “Off like a camera? Or off like a horse?”
“Wait, huh?”
Clint and Michael burst out in laughter as I sat there, staring blankly at Allison. Another inside joke. They seemed to have a lot of those.
Allison snickered. “What--what does off have to do with a--?”
Michael held his hand up. “Had to be there. Holy shi--hoo! Had to be there.”
Clint snorted. “Your father’s a fucking mess, you know that?”
For some reason, I felt more alone than when Clint and Michael weren’t here.
Allison rolled her eyes. “Anyway… Rae, you ready for orientation?”
Michael cleared his throat. “Yeah. You waiting until orientation to figure out whether or not to stay on campus?”
I shrugged. “I figured I’ll end up staying on campus. For at least the first semester, to get my bearings.”
Clint stopped laughing. “Wait, what?”
I looked over at him. “What?”
He furrowed his brow. “You’re staying on campus? Since when?”
I shrugged. “Since you won’t make a decision on where you want to live. I have to turn in the paperwork. Might as well do it at orientation since it’s around the due date. The last thing I want is to be left without a room because I didn’t make the decision on time.”
He stared at me blankly before Michael interjected.
“Any good frat parties going on at this thing, you think?”
Allison smacked him playfully. “Michael. Stop it.”
“What? I mean, Rae can go there. Meet her new peers. Fraternize with new people. Get her party on a bit.”
“We’re not there to party. We’re there to support her.”
I kept staring at Clint. “And maybe party a little bit.”
Michael reached over, slapping Clint on the shoulder. “I mean, if he can keep his nose out of his notebook long enough. Am I right?”
It wasn’t until Clint looked away that I settled back into my seat. But I felt his arm move from around me. I sipped on my milkshake as I gazed out over the ocean, and I felt someone’s leg press against mine. I looked underneath the table and saw Allison’s shoe. I looked up at her and found her casting me some sort of a pity glance.
Well, I didn't want her pity.
I just wanted this limbo of hell to be over.
“Just because I’m writing doesn’t mean I can’t go party with you guys. It’s a hobby. That’s all,” Clint said.
Allison smiled. “Writing about anything good?”
Michael took a bite of his ice cream. “Yeah. What is it you write?”
Clint shrugged. “All sorts of things. Poems. Ideas for short stories. Character outlines. A dream I may have had. Shit like that.”
I sighed. “It’s not shit.”
Clint snapped back. “Well, it’s not good.”
“You’re your harshest critic. I think you should do something with it.”
“Yeah, like I should’ve gone to college?”
I bit down on the inside of my cheek. “You could’ve gotten in, with all the hard work you did.”
Clint fired back. “Yeah. I know. But that doesn’t mean school was ever my dream. You know I hate school. Why are you so pissed about this?”
“I’m not pissed, okay? Just confused.”
“Yeah, well. So am I.”
I paused. “About what?”
Clint murmured, “Nothing.”
I heard a ‘thwap’ underneath the table, and then Michael and Clint started glaring at one another. Clint’s eyes fell to his notebook, which he practically carried everywhere now. He slid it off the table before his ice cream started dripping down his hand.
“Fuck,” he hissed.
I snickered. “Yeah. That’s why I keep telling you to get anything other than a cone.”
“Well, maybe I want a fucking cone anyway.”
I shook my head and kept sucking on my straw. Why he always had to make things difficult sometimes, I’d never know. They continued talking around me, but I paid them no mind. I wasn’t looking forward to this orientation at all. Not one bit. Because I’d have to share a room with Clint. And right now, things weren’t good between us.
In fact, they hadn’t been for a little while now.
I fell into my own mind and thought about his words. I mean, did he not want to live together? Did he not want to be closer to me? It wasn’t like he didn’t have the money. He’d been selling shit left and right and banking thousands upon thousands of dollars. Why couldn't he afford to come with me? Why was he hesitant?