Once I get a job, I can save up for a laptop.
I smiled at the thought. As I finished writing and closed my journal, I thought about all the things I could do with my musings. With my thoughts. With my writings. With my poems. I had all sorts of things in my journal. And while the back third of it was being taken up by a fantastical story of betrayal and brotherhood, it wasn’t the only thing I had in here. I had poems dating all the way back to my middle school days. Short stories of love and lust. Pride and humor. Darkness and blood. I wrote whatever came to mind. Whatever inspired me. And over the years, I had collected a great deal of journals.
Twenty-two of them, to be exact.
My writing had fallen off in high school. Mostly because it wasn’t ‘cool.’ I snickered at the thought. How I could’ve been such an idiot was beyond me. But ever since I could write, I’d been writing. Jotting my thoughts down. Turning those thoughts into stories to tell. Lessons to teach others one day with my words. I sighed as I looked up. I set my journal down and walked over to the window. I slipped the curtains open before sliding the door to the side, then I stepped out onto the balcony.
Gazing out over the expanse of L.A. that I could see.
All this time, I’d been waiting for things to feel right. Waiting for things to fall into place. Waiting for pieces to snap into their rightful positions. Maybe the timing would never be perfect. Maybe there wasn’t such a thing as pieces falling into place. Maybe it was all our own doing. Putting things in a prioritized line and feeling good about it.
Seize the chance, Clint. Like you just did with those resumes.
And as the thought crossed my mind, a grin slid across my cheeks.
17
Raelynn
“Hey! Allison!”
I waved her down as Michael popped up from his lounge chair. I slipped through the fence with my bathing suit on and my T-shirt hanging just past the middle of my thighs. Allison slid off her chair and came running for me. She slipped around in the water before crashing into me, holding her wide-brimmed hat to her head. I caught her and laughed as we stumbled together before ultimately crashing back into another chair.
And as Michael walked over, he pulled up chairs for all of us.
“Tell me everything,” Allison demanded. “All of it. How was orientation? How was campus? Did you meet any of your teachers?”
Michael chuckled. “Settle down, Suzie Q, with your tirade of questions. Let the girl breathe.”
Allison sat down next to Michael and the two of them threaded their hands together.
“Are you breathing now?” she asked.
I snickered. “Has anyone seen Clint? I went upstairs to find him, but he wasn’t there.”
Michael shrugged. “He said he had something to do before you got back from your orientation. But we haven’t seen him yet.”
Allison nodded. “He said he was going to join us around eleven or so.”
“Rae! Hey!”
I turned around at the sound of his voice. I got up from my chair and rushed for him. I jumped into his arms, smiling and laughing as his bare torso caught me. His legs were clad in a pair of board shorts, just aching to get wet.
He kissed my cheek and my heart exploded with happiness.
“Oh, I’m so glad to see you, Clint.”
He murmured. “I thought your day wasn’t done until three.”
I shrugged. “The tours were pretty pointless. So, after lunch, I decided to walk around campus before coming back.”
He squeezed me tight. “Well, I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me, too.”
I committed how I felt to memory. The feel of his touch. The warmth of his skin. I tried erasing all those things the girls had said at lunch as he peppered my cheek with kisses. He set me down on my feet and I looked up into his eyes. Into the loving, tender, gracious eyes of the boy I loved. Clinton Clarke. The boy I’d once hated, but who was now in my corner. The boy who had my back, no matter what.
Those girls are wrong. I could never give him up.
“So how did orientation go? Was it as boring as you figured it would be?”
His question ripped me from my trance, and I found myself not wanting to talk about it. Instead, I took his hand and slowly walked us toward the pool. I slipped my shirt off, watching as his eyes danced down my body. I grinned as I took another step toward the edge. I held my arms out, ready to do a back dive off the side.
Before Michael crashed into me, sending me hurtling with him into the pool.
“Gotcha!”
I shrieked. “Michael!”
We fell into the water and I heard splashing all around me. I clamored for the surface, emerging with a massive smile on my face. Allison’s laughter followed her into the pool. I felt a pair of arms around me before Clint popped up. He smiled brightly with his face dripping wet, and I wrapped myself around him. My legs around his waist. My arms around his neck. Getting as close to him as I could before our foreheads fell together.
“You’re not avoiding my question, are you?” he asked.
I heard the worry in his voice. “I’m not. It was just--I mean, orientation. We toured one of the dorms. Ate food in the cafeteria.”
He chuckled. “Was it terrible?”
“Actually, it wasn’t half bad.”
“What about the dorms. As small as you figured?”
I shrugged. “Maybe not as small. I’m just glad there’s no communal hallway bathroom.”
“Wait, that’s a thing?”
I nodded slowly. “The dorm we toured had a bathroom that connected two rooms at a time. That’s it.”
“Well, thank fuck for that.”
I giggled and captured his lips with a kiss. But guilt still crawled around in my stomach. I wanted to be able to forget about it. I wanted to erase that damn lunch from my memory. Even as I kissed him, though, the conversation was still there. In the back of my head. Like a damn virus trying to infect me.
Just keep kissing him until it goes away.
I slipped my tongue into his mouth as he held me close. We bobbed along in the water, not a care in the world given to who might see us. I moaned down the back of his throat and clung to him as he danced on his tiptoes in the water. And as our teeth clattered together, I felt him chuckling.
He slowly eased away.
“Mmm, I think someone missed me.”
I giggled. “Maybe a bit.”
He kissed my forehead. “Let me come with you next time, then?”
“Maybe. Oh! Wait.”
Clint paused. “What?”
I grinned. “I heard about a frat party worth checking out tonight.”
Michael swam over. “Sorry, did I hear someone say something about a party?”
Allison held on to his back. “Will there be drinking?”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s college. Everyone drinks.”
She frowned. “Even though they aren’t allowed to?”
Clint laughed. “You’re too cute, Ally. You know that?”
I giggled. “Come on. It’ll be fun. A college party, welcoming the freshman to campus. It should be worth a stop-off, at least. Maybe after dinner? If it sucks, we can go get ice cream or something somewhere.”
Michael smiled. “Or come back and night swim.”
Clint pointed at him. “That code for skinny dipping? I’m all about skinny dipping.”
Allison grimaced. “Count me out.”
I nodded. “Me, too. You boys can have a sausage fest while you’re naked in the pool while Allison and I watch movies on television.”
“No, no, I meant out of the party.”
We all groaned at Allison’s words.
“Come on, live a little. Have some fun,” I said.
Clint nodded. “It’s really not going to be that bad. If someone offers you a drink, just say ‘no’ and they’ll leave you alone.”
Allison shook her head. “That’s not what I see on television. People keep asking until they wear you down.”
Michael laughed. “Sweetheart, no one is going to press their good alcohol onto someone who won’t enjoy it. Trust me.”
Clint sighed. “Ain’t that the fucking truth.”
I snorted. “Fine. If you don’t want to come, Allison, you can stay behind while we go have a good time.”
Michael nodded. “Yep. I’ll go with Clint and Rae.”
“Hey, I don’t want you to go alone, though. What if there are girls there?”
Clint grinned. “There will be. Might want to come and make sure your territory stays marked.”
Allison rolled her eyes. “Fine. Whatever. Okay. But I’m not drinking or doing any of the drugs.”
I snickered. “None of the drugs. Got it.”
Michael wiggled his eyebrows. “Anyone up for some pregaming before the party tonight?”
I paused. “What are we pregaming with?”
Clint nodded. “Yeah, we can’t drink at the bar here.”
Allison giggled. “Michael snuck some alcohol in his suitcase.”
My jaw dropped open. “You’ve been holding out on us!”
Clint gasped. “Mike. I’m hurt. We’re supposed to be besties, bro.”
He barked with laughter. “All right. Dinner in, then the pregaming shot happens at eight. Sound good?”
I paused. “Better make it nine. I’ve heard these parties don’t really get going until then.”
Michael nodded. “All right. Dinner in our rooms, pregame shot at nine, then we head out to this elusive party Rae heard about on her new campus.”