“Ah, well. Come get it, then. Anything else you need from your room?”
I shook my head. “I’ll take one last look at it before I leave. I promise. Okay? And I’ll give you a big hug.”
“I’d like that very much.”
I hung up the phone and sighed. I stood up from the bed as Allison eyed me carefully, then reached for my bag. I slipped my phone into my pocket as we silently walked downstairs. I heard Michael and Clint talking to Allison’s parents, promising they’d take good care of us.
Normally, I’d interject with a quip of some sort.
But I was too focused on getting back to the house.
Michael gave Allison a big hug, but I slipped by Clint. I wanted to get out of there. I needed to, really. I tossed my stuff into the back of the car, then hopped in. I waited impatiently for the three of them to make their way back to me. Everyone climbed in silently as Allison waved at her parents. Clint climbed over me, seating himself next to the window before he took my hand.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“Michael, can we go back to my house for a minute? I left something.”
I tossed Clint a knowing look and he sighed. I snickered to myself and Michael drove to my place, and I quickly hopped out of the car. I motioned for Clint to stay behind. I didn't want anyone to witness this. Because if something broke out between my mother and me, I didn’t want anyone bearing witness to it.
I was tired of everyone seeing the destitution of my life.
“Hey there, sweetheart.”
Mom rushed me the second I walked in the door and hugged me tight.
“Hey, Mom.”
She kissed my cheek. “The box is on the kitchen table. And I packed a couple of sodas for you and everyone else for the road.”
“Thanks.”
I walked into the kitchen and sighed with relief. There was the box. With the lock on the front of it. It didn’t look tampered with. Or as if it had been broken. So I scooped it up before reaching for the shoulder-strapped cooler. I nodded at Mom with a taut smile on my lips, then quickly made my way upstairs.
I should’ve done this a long time ago anyway.
I locked my bedroom door behind me and started whirling around my room. I picked up one of the larger bags I’d kept from Cecilia’s stash and started stuffing it with all sorts of things. The box. The underwear. I pulled out my dresser drawer of panties and dug all the way to the bottom. Until my hand fell against the white envelope. I shoved that into the purse. I picked up my piggy bank and put that in there, too. I reached above my closet with a yardstick I kept in the closet and scraped along its shelf top until two tied-off socks fell in my face. I stuffed those in the purse, too, before gazing around the room.
And when my eyes fell to my bed, I sighed.
The measures I’d gone to in order to keep my money out of the hands of my mother had become exponential. It almost made me want to cry. Almost, anyway. I walked over and pulled up the lower corner of my fitted sheet. I jammed my hand into the small slit I’d made in the mattress. Just big enough for my fingers to fit through. I grabbed the wads of cash, shoving them into the purse. One, after another, after another. Until all six of them were safely at my side.
If Mom was going to start sifting through my room, then I had to make sure she wouldn't find anything I intended to keep.
I put the expensive sunglasses I’d kept on top of my head. I packed away the few pieces of jewelry I’d convinced myself to keep. The two silken scarves I was saving for a rainy day. I folded up really tight the couple outfits I had yet to sell. Then I shoved the pair of heels I wore to prom down at the very bottom of that massive purse before zipping it up.
Thank fuck, the bag was huge.
“Wow, looks like you forgot a lot.”
I snickered, coming down the stairs. “Yeah, well. I’m glad you convinced me to come back.”
Mom grinned. “Sometimes I do know best.”
Yeah, maybe. “All right. I’m heading out. I’ll see--”
“Uh uh uh. You forgetting something?”
She held her arms out for me and I internally cringed. I walked over to her and hugged her, feeling her kiss my cheek. Over and over. As if she weren’t ever going to see me again. I hugged her neck one last time before pulling away, and tried my best to give her a reassuring smile.
“Oh, you got those questions?”
I nodded. “They’re in the box.”
“Let me know how it goes!”
“Will do, Mom!”
Then I was back out the door with my purse bursting at the seams with money.
I climbed into the SUV and music hit my ears. Classic rock. A station Clint had gotten Michael hooked on. They were all singing at the top of their lungs as I closed my door. I wasn’t in a singing mood, though. I clutched my purse tightly against my chest as I gazed out the window. Clint’s hand settled onto my knee as I saw my mother peeking her head through the curtains, watching us pull away. And as we got further away from the house, I felt myself growing less and less stressed.
Maybe college wouldn't be terrible after all.
Especially if it came with this kind of peace.
“This is going to be awesome,” Allison said.
Michael nodded. “Are you two okay with me and Allison rooming together?”
I paused. “What?”
Clint squeezed my knee. “Mike and Ally are wanting to bunk together. But don’t worry. The bedrooms have two beds each.”
Allison furrowed her brow. “Why would she be worried about something like that?”
I cleared my throat. “That sounds good. I could use some time with Clint anyway.”
He looked at me. “You could?”
I smiled softly at him. “Yeah, I really could.”
When he smiled back at me, a weight lifted off my shoulders. I slipped my hand on top of his as everyone started talking around me. Michael said something that made Clint laugh. Allison said something that made Michael roll his eyes. The music blared as we headed for the highway, pulling further away from my house. The only place I had called home for the past eighteen years. I had orientation tomorrow morning on campus. Then a tour of campus just after lunch. But, after that? The rest of the time was ours to do with what we wanted.
And as I let my eyes linger over Clint, I knew exactly what I wanted to do.
12
Clinton
I gawked at how massive the campus was as we passed it. While Rae clung to my hand and her purse full of money, I stared out the window, listening to Mike and Ally chatter on about their own plans. We made our way to the hotel as the sprawling campus faded into the background, and I felt myself filling with nerves. Why did I feel so anxious all of a sudden? Why were my hands sweating? Why did I feel so overwhelmed?
It wasn’t my fucking orientation we were going to.
As we pulled into the parking lot for the hotel, we got out. And the sheer number of guys walking around that passed me by made me bristle. Young boys in groups, staring at me and glancing over at Rae. Whistling softly at Ally and making Mike take her into his arms. I walked to Rae’s side and guided her into the hotel. Away from the prying eyes as dread filled my gut.
I didn’t like how many guys were around campus.
“Hi there! You guys all checking in?”
The peppy front desk attendant chirped her voice across the lobby as we made our way for her.
“Uh, yes. The reservation’s under my father’s name. Dale Vance.”
The woman started typing. “I need your I.D. as well as a valid credit card.”
Mike pulled out everything he needed for the woman. But she looked displeased. She kept checking his I.D. and looking up at him, and I watched her eyebrows rise. I looked down at Rae. I saw her shuffling on her feet. She tucked herself against me, and I felt her trembling softly.
I kissed the top of her head to try and calm her down.
“I’m sorry, but you need an adult here to help you check in.”
Mike nodded. “There should be a note underneath the reservation explaining everything.”
The woman shook her head. “Doesn’t matter if there is. The law states--”
“Michael Vance! I was wondering when you’d be here to check in.”
A very bubbly older woman came out of the back room and walked out to us. She hugged Mike softly, and the three of us looked around at one another.
“Mrs. Autumn. It’s really good to see you again,” he said.
She ruffled his hair. “When did you get taller than me? What is happening right now? Are you actually college age?”
He chuckled. “College bound for Stanford.”
She gasped. “Your mother’s alma mater. Oh, I know she’s so proud of you right now.”
I furrowed my brow. “I didn’t know your mom went to Stanford.”
Mike shrugged. “She doesn’t talk about it much because she didn’t have the best time. Her dad kind of forced her into the family tradition.”
Ally paused. “You don’t feel that way, do you?”
Mike smiled at her. “No, baby. Not at all.”
The woman grinned. “Baby, huh?”
Introductions were made and I shook the woman’s hand. And slowly, I saw the girl behind the counter sinking into shame. I felt bad for her, honestly. Being run over by the likes of her manager and the son of some rich guy. But Mrs. Autumn got us checked in and assigned to the rooms we’d be in for the weekend. We went and gathered our things from the car before heading up.