She loses herself? Is that how he made her feel?
“I think you’re confusing losing yourself with letting yourself go, relaxing into a place of pleasure.” He gulped. “Please stay.”
He’d never felt so vulnerable in his life. He’d do anything to fix whatever was wrong. Anything. He’d even try vanilla for a while if it made her happy. “Talk to me.”
Finally, she turned toward him and lifted her gaze. “Later. Gabriel, I need to think. This is a huge step for me. Monstrous. Not at all expected. Please, give me some time.” She walked out the back door and he stared after her, unable to move a muscle.
Where would she go? Home? She didn’t have a car as far as he knew. She’d surely come with her family this morning, which meant she’d need to go find them and leave with them. A spot in his chest ached at her loss.
He moaned as he turned toward the stairs and climbed to the second floor, not caring for an instant he was completely naked.
What the fuck was he supposed to do now?
Chapter Six
Kathleen found her parents’ car easily and slunk into the back seat, praying they would emerge soon and take her home. She wasn’t about to go inside the meeting hall and look for them.
First of all, she must look a mess. Second of all, anyone with any sense would be able to see she was mated now. She must reek of Gabriel Albertson. Ugh.
She shivered, even though it was hot in the back seat. She wrapped her arms around her and didn’t even bother to finger comb her messy hair—just-fucked hair that hung over her face and hid her expression from the world.
She hadn’t been kidding. Her mind was swimming. She needed time and space.
This claiming had been nothing like what she’d expected or ever witnessed with other wolves. The powerful feelings she had when she was with him made her nervous. She could easily lose herself entirely with him.
What did that say about her? Was she really that weak?
She leaned her head against her palms and rubbed her temples as a headache formed behind both eyes.
The image of him claiming her—mind, body and soul—wouldn’t shake. She was sure it would be even worse if she had a movie reel of what had really happened. Her ability to remember specifics was watered down by her complete submission to her body’s reactions to his advances.
Ohmygod. What the hell have I done?
Had she really just masturbated for him and then given him a blowjob? She couldn’t believe her actions. It was as though she hadn’t been controlling herself. She’d been drawn to him by an unknown force. Was that a mate thing? Or a dominance thing? In either case, it had frightened her when she’d realized what she had done. And, to be honest, she was embarrassed. Partially by what she’d done and partially by her complete and utter submission to his whims.
Could she get out of this now? Leave him and never return?
She squirmed. Not likely. She knew it could be done. Some wolves had left their mates on rare occasions of abuse or neglect. Could she leave him out of a fear of losing herself?
She didn’t think there was a chance in hell she could convince him to give up his dominant ways. Besides, just thinking about his intense gaze, his firm hands, his knowing commands made her wet all over again.
She would never be able to stop the spiral into submission that would be her life if she stayed with him. And that alone frightened her to death.
She startled when the front door opened and her mother leaned inside. “Kathleen? Honey? Are you okay?” She shut the door and switched to the back seat, opening the opposite side and climbing into the heat. “It’s so hot in here. Why didn’t you open a window at least?”
Kathleen didn’t look up. She steadied her breath and considered what she was going to tell this woman who’d raised her, who knew everything about her life up until this point.
She didn’t want her mother to know about Gabriel’s dominance or her body’s reaction to it. She couldn’t begin to discuss it with her own mom. Why hadn’t she considered this problem earlier?
“Why are you out here alone?” she asked in the most soothing soft voice Kathleen had ever heard. Her mother’s hand landed on the seat beside Kathleen, but she didn’t touch her daughter.
Kathleen was thankful for her mom’s ability to sense the need for space.
“Talk to me, sweetie. Tell me what happened? You’re shivering.” She took a deep breath. “I know you mated with Gabriel. I saw you with him when I came to look for you. You were heading back to his house. I’m so happy for you. Should I not be?”
Kathleen shook her head. “I’m fine. Just needed some space,” she muttered, hoping her explanation would be sufficient.