“Who the hell else would have?”
She put a hand to her face. “What on earth did Brian give me?”
“I don’t know, but whatever it was, you’ve been out like you went on a drinking binge. You even talked to me, but like a drunk woman. You don’t remember?”
“No! I don’t remember a thing!” She turned onto her back. “What did you do to me after you undressed me?”
He grinned, kissing her neck. “Unspeakable things. Horrible…shameful…unspeakable things. You don’t even want to know. You’d never talk to me again. I’d be out in somebody’s doghouse if I told you.”
She pushed at him. “You did not.”
“Oh, I figured I’d take advantage of the situation, and I did all the things you’ve always been too embarrassed to let me do. Only the worst prostitute in the worst brothel in Oklahoma would let me do such things.”
Randy couldn’t help a smile. “And how would you know that?”
“I’ve seen it all and done it all.” He met her mouth in a deep kiss. “It was great.”
“You’d better be lying,” she told him when he moved his kisses back to her throat.
“I never lie to you. You have been properly ravished, mi querida. We had nothing but disrespectful sex last night.”
“Is there such a thing?”
“You bet. I got to know things about you I never realized in twenty-six years of sleeping with you.”
She laughed softly. “You’re being mean.”
“Mean is what I’m known for.”
Randy studied his eyes and saw the hint of fear behind all the joking. “What did Brian tell you?”
His smile faded a little. “He told me it’s okay to have sex with you.”
Her eyes widened. “You didn’t ask him about that!”
He grinned again. “Of course I did. Do you think your son-in-law doesn’t know we still frolic in bed?”
“Jake, I will never be able to face him again.”
“Mrs. Harkner, who are you married to?”
“Jake Harkner.”
“Do you really think those closest to us don’t know a man like me still enjoys women?”
“Women? As in plural?”
“You know what I mean.”
“I’m not sure I do. Did you really just take a bath at that brothel the last time you were gone?” she teased.
“I really did.”
“And who helped bathe you?”
“Me, myself, and I.”
Randy grinned. “I’m not sure I believe that.”
“Who loves you more than his own life?”
“You.”
“And there is your answer.”
“And those two years on the Outlaw Trail?”
He nuzzled her neck. “That was a very bad time, and I thought you should leave me.”
“And are we headed for another bad time? Do you think you’re losing me again, Jake?”
He sobered. “I think I love you now more than I ever have—ever. And I will be here for you—all of me. I will never, never hurt you.”
He started to kiss her again, but she put her hand over his mouth. “What did Brian tell you? You’re avoiding the answer, Jake.”
He sighed and kissed her throat again. “He said he wants you to see Ed Rogers, who knows a lot more about these things than Brian does. He thinks you probably have some cysts or something on your ovaries and that they can easily be removed and you’d be fine.”
She closed her eyes and thought a moment. “Did he mention cancer?”
“We aren’t going to even consider that.”
“Jake—”
“Don’t you say that word. I mean it. You do not have cancer!”
She breathed deeply, fighting her own fears. “Jake, I might need you to be really strong for me. You don’t know how to handle something over which you have no control, and this is something you can’t hit or shoot or put in jail. You might have to find a different kind of strength, Jake.”
He studied her lovingly—the golden hair that still showed no gray, the eyes that changed from gray to green depending on the light, the nearly flawless skin. “I did look at you last night, but not in a bad way. I thought how perfect you still are, a woman any man would still consider desirable. I thought how absolutely unfair it would be if the worst happened because you goddamn well don’t deserve it. It should be me! This body has been wounded and battered and mistreated my whole life. I once drank too much, and I smoke too much, and I don’t eat right, and I’m out risking my life most of the time. I never even should have survived my childhood. I’ve committed every sin a man can commit, and here I am still alive, and as far as I know, there isn’t a damn thing wrong with me. So why should it be you?”