Lloyd rose and reached out his hand. “Come sit down by me.” He squeezed her hand gently as she sat beside him on the bench. “You look really pretty in pink.”
Katie smiled and looked away. “Thank you.”
Lloyd hesitated, keeping hold of her hand. “I guess you probably know what I want to talk about.”
Katie put her other hand over his. “Maybe. But I don’t want to make a fool of myself, so you’d better tell me yourself.”
Lloyd couldn’t help a smile. “Well, I thought a lot on this trip…about how a man is better off with a good woman by his side.” He squeezed her hand. “I see a lot of strength and understanding in you, Katie, and we’ve already grown close, close enough that I…I’d like you to be my wife. I know our whole situation is a little different, both of us being widowed…the danger of what I do. But this job won’t last forever, Katie. And I have other skills. I’ll always provide for you every way I can. I have quite a bit of money in the bank that I inherited from my wife’s estate. Her father was a pretty rich man, but…” He let go of hand. “Damn it,” he said in a near whisper. “Katie, that’s not why I loved her. I don’t want you to think—”
“It’s okay,” she interrupted. “I know what you’re saying.”
Lloyd noticed her hands were clenched tightly in her lap. “I’ll understand if you say no,” he told her. “God knows I’m like my father in a lot of ways, which means I won’t be the easiest person to live with. But Pa is a real good husband, Katie, and a great father. And the grandkids are crazy about him. I can be that way too.”
She grasped his hand. “Lloyd, you don’t need to sell yourself to me.” She faced him, tears in her eyes. “I do have concerns, but you’ve been nothing but sweet and attentive to me, and I never saw a more handsome man in my whole life, and I know what a good father you are to Stephen, and a loving brother to Evie…and you’re so devoted to your folks. I see the love in you, Lloyd, and I know…” She looked away again. “I know what losing Beth did to you. I just worry I could never truly replace her.”
He turned sideways, grasping her arms and making her look at him. “Katie, I’m not asking for a replacement, or promising mad, crazy love, at least at first. We’re an awful lot alike, you know. We’ve both lost so much. I can’t take the place of your first husband, just like you can’t take Beth’s place, because we’re each different people than they were, so we just have to learn to love each other for just that…who we are…right here and now. Trying to replace someone else can’t work. And we can’t move on together if we try to do that.”
Katie nodded, turning her gaze downward. “I miss my little baby girl so much that sometimes I cry into my pillow till there aren’t any more tears. I want another baby, Lloyd. I need to hold another baby. And Lord knows I can’t have that till I marry again. I hope you want more children.”
“Hell, we can have all the babies you want. I’d like my Stephen to have sisters and brothers…and he needs a mother. But he’s no baby, Katie. You’d be walking into mothering a half-grown kid. Do you think you can love him like a mother should?”
She faced him again. “Of course I can. Stevie and I are already good friends. You’ve brought him out here, and he’s come along with us other times. We’ve picnicked together and fished together and…well, he’s such a good boy…easy to love. If I care about his father enough to marry him, I’ll care about him too. I already do.”
Lloyd turned away, resting his elbows on his knees. “I have to be honest. I think my being a deputy U.S. Marshal will be harder for you than anything else. It’s asking a lot of a woman to put up with what I do. My mother has to, because she and Pa were already married when he became a marshal. Neither one of them wanted it, but it was the only way Pa could finish out his prison sentence. It’s dangerous as hell, Katie. And the fact remains, I don’t have to do this, but I promised myself I’d not let my pa handle this alone. I expect he probably could manage, but I vowed a long time ago to always have his back like he’s had mine. But this kind of life is not something easy for a woman to put up with. You need to consider that.”
Katie toyed with an embroidered flower on the skirt of her dress. “Lloyd, I’ve already thought about that a lot, and I’m willing to try. I was talking with my mother earlier about…about how I’ve already lost one husband, so I wasn’t sure I could be with a man who could take a bullet in the back the day after we marry. But when I was changing my clothes just now, I thought how you must be so lonely, and how hard it must be to come home to an empty house, and how we shouldn’t turn down a chance at happiness because of what might happen. I’d be proud to call you my husband, Lloyd.”