He ate more steak but noticed Jeff only picked at his. “Jeff, we’re all a product of how we’re raised,” Lloyd told him when he was nearly finished eating. “You are the way you are because you grew up loved and educated and probably a bit sheltered. I am a lot like my pa because his blood is in me, but I’ll never be completely like him because of my mother. I’ve got some of her softness, and I was privileged to always have a mother—and a father who taught me strength, and taught me how fathers are supposed to raise their sons.”
He lit a cigarette. “And Jake is the way he is because of how he was raised—no mother for most of his younger years, a father from hell who beat the idea into him that he was worthless, and surrounded by outlaws and prostitutes. I’m guessing there were times when some prostitute, maybe more than one, took him in and protected him from his father. So don’t judge him by some of the things he does now. It’s all he knows…and my mother understands that.” He met Jeff’s eyes. “She also knows he’d step in front of her and take a bullet in the gut if it meant saving her life. And if he could take her cancer away by putting it into himself, he’d do it without hesitation. He’ll never do anything that would hurt her, her body or her heart.”
Jeff slowly nodded.
“That Jake, he’s a good man,” Rosie said. She sat down near Jeff and pulled off his glasses. “Do you really need these?”
Jeff shrugged. “If I want to see, I do.”
“Well, you look cuter without them.” She smiled, leaning closer and kissing him. “Sometimes touching is better than seeing, Jeff.” She laughed then and tousled his hair.
Lloyd just grinned and got up, walking outside to smoke. Damn it, Pa, don’t do anything stupid.
* * *
Jake removed his boots and weapons belt and guns, hanging the belts over a bedpost where his duster and hat already hung. He sat down on the bed and put his feet up, leaning against the head of the bed.
Dixie walked in with his coffee, bringing it over and setting it on a stand beside the bed. She folded her arms and stood there looking at him. “Lloyd told me about your wife. I’m goddamn sorry, Jake.”
Jake looked away, lighting a cigarette. “Dixie, a man like me never deserved her in the first place. I guess I should consider myself lucky to have actually had that woman for twenty-six years.”
Dixie walked to her dressing table. She picked up a handkerchief and began wiping the color off her face, revealing an aging woman who’d seen far too much of her own share of hard living.
“I saw her once in Guthrie.”
Jake looked at her in surprise. “How did you know who she was?”
Dixie smiled. “Well, I’d gone into town to stock up on supplies. I was buying some material, and she walked in.” She undid her hair and began brushing it out, then faced Jake. “My very first thought was ‘Damn, she’s one beautiful woman.’”
Jake stared at his cigarette. “That she is.”
“She was actually kind to me—nodded to me and greeted me. I’m sure she suspected what I was, because we all have that look about us. I know that. But she was nice to me anyway. Then the store clerk called her by name. ‘Good morning, Mrs. Harkner,’ he says.” She continued brushing her hair. “Well, my jaw about dropped to the floor. ‘So, there she is,’ I thought. ‘That’s Jake Harkner’s wife, and ain’t she just the most beautiful, most gracious thing that ever walked. She’s just like Jake described her.’ And I kind of put two and two together, her bein’ nice to me and all. I think she was nice to me because she knew women like me were once a part of your life and you would expect her to be nice to me. And I thought, ‘How in hell did Jake Harkner find a woman like that—her bein’ so tiny and gorgeous—him bein’ so big and mean?’ ’Course, when it comes to looks, there ain’t nothin’ bad about you. No wonder that son of yours is even better lookin’—havin’ you for a pa and that beautiful woman for a mother. I didn’t tell her I knew you, because…well, that’s obvious. But I have to wonder if she would have just smiled and asked me to the house or something. That’s just how she struck me—as bein’ that gracious.”
Jake grinned and shook his head. “She probably would have invited you over, but I would have had to answer a whole lot of questions afterward.”
Dixie smiled. “That’s why I never said anything. But I’m tellin’ you this because I think it’s damn wrong for a woman like that to die too young, when women like me are still walkin’ around free and easy.” She set down the brush and walked over to the bed, climbing onto it from the other side. She moved close to him and touched his arm. “Is there any hope?”