* * * *
Lily tried to roll away from Del, but he wouldn’t allow it, keeping her pinned in place. Her closed eyes burned with tears, and she could feel his gaze on the mark as he lifted his hand from her lower abdomen. She couldn’t bear the look of disgust she’d see there, so she turned her face away. The tears and sobs came in great waves, breaking from her as though a dam inside her had finally been breached.
She felt his hand at her jaw, turning her so she faced him, and he whispered to her in the softest voice, “Lily, look at me.”
She tried to open her eyes, but she couldn’t. The pity or disgust on his face would slay her if she did. This would be the end of them. Every time he looked at her he would remember the mark she bore and know that she had allowed it to be done to her.
Stupid fool!
Shame burned in her heart as she tried to turn away from him. Del wouldn’t allow it though. “Lily, look at me now,” he commanded.
His tone allowed no opposition, and she blinked through hot tears until her wavy vision cleared. When she focused on him, she was taken aback by the anger she saw burning in his normally calm gray-green eyes. His jaw was set like granite, and for a moment she was scared. Of what, she wasn’t sure.
“Thirty minutes alone with him. That’s all I want, Lily. For you. Just thirty minutes with that bastard son of a bitch.” She gasped when he laid his hand on her abdomen, and it felt like it was searing away the unhealed wound that the tattoo was to her. “He’ll beg me to call the police to come and get his ass when I’m done with him.”
He stared at her with a look she couldn’t discern for several seconds before seeming to come to a decision. More tears blurred her vision as he stood. She dropped her gaze, knowing he’d walk out now. He’d seen it. JT’s name permanently inked into her skin. The pity and disgust would be unbearable coming from someone she wanted as much as him.
This night had started so differently. She’d removed her gown and slipped into bed naked so she might dream of sleeping bare in his arms. She was naked, all right, all the way down to her soul.
A sudden movement made her gasp, and she looked up as he whipped off his T-shirt and climbed into the bed next to her, dressed only in his flannel pajama pants.
She scooted back and whispered, “What are you doing?”
“What I should’ve done last night.” He switched the lamp off, bathing the room in the moonlight shining through the bedroom windows. He turned back to her, his muscular shoulders and chest a palette of light and shadows as he shifted and turned to her. “Come here,” he whispered in a quiet, but authoritative tone.
The speed with which she complied surprised her. He wrapped his arms around her, and she realized she was shaking as he squeezed her tightly. Plastering her face against his pectorals, she shuddered as her bare flesh came into full contact with his big, strong body. She felt ready to come out of her skin as the shakes got even worse, and he crooned to her. The sympathetic sound did her in, and another wave of grief washed through her.
Del held her, just as his brother had held her the night of the storm, comforting her. Was this what it meant to be wanted by two men? To be comforted by two men? If Del had seen the mark and could stand to touch her, perhaps Clay would do the same.
“How did it happen?” Shame washed through her again, and she shook her head as she remembered her ignorant compliance to JT’s wishes. “Let it out, Lily.”
If she expected Del to open up to her about the demons of his past that he was trying to outrun, she knew she should trust him and do the same thing. Running from evils of the past was fruitless. He already knew about the tattoo, the part of this whole situation that bothered her the most. The story needed telling.
“I told him how proud I was to be with him, to be his wife. I loved that he took such control of me. I—I loved that he was demanding. He had a sadistic streak and even that didn’t turn me off. It…meshed with something inside of me. When he told me I was his and he wanted me to bear the mark of his love forever, I was all for it.” She swallowed past the urge to vomit at the words. “I never even questioned him.”
“You gave him your complete trust.” The muscles in his shoulder were tense under her hand as she held on to him.
She nodded. “Every bit of me trusted him. I loved him. I’m ashamed now that I did, but I trusted him completely.” A sob slipped from her with the admission. Del squeezed her tightly again, and she felt the muscles in her back relax just a bit as he stroked her there.
“Keep going. Tell me all of it.”
“I was excited when the day came and we went to see his friend who was a tattoo artist. I’d never met him or been to his shop before. JT said he wanted to surprise me and asked me to trust him. I laid there as the artist replicated the drawing he gave him, sight unseen. JT stood over him and watched, approving the whole time. I couldn’t wait to see it.”