The realization settled like a weight on her as she looked hurriedly through the rest of the pictures then back at the ones she’d set aside.
“Lily, you okay?” Clay asked, sounding concerned as he stroked her back.
She held the picture of her with her friends at the football game and said, “Clay, I remember looking at this picture and being ashamed for being so fat. I remember being fat in this picture!”
She tossed it in her lap and lifted the portrait of her with the chair placed so strategically. “I remember thinking ‘why bother with the chair when I’ll just stick out on both sides of it anyway?’ Clay, I recall looking at the proofs of these pictures and telling my mom and dad that they didn’t need to order any of mine because I was so embarrassed by them.” Lily looked hard at the picture, and tears overflowed her eyes.
She held up the picture from the trip she’d taken to the Gulf Coast with Clay and his family. “I remember being embarrassed that your family also had pictures like this with my gigantic, white thighs so exposed.”
“How do you feel looking at these pictures now?”
“I believed them, Clay. I believed my mom and I bought into what my friends said when they complained about being fat.”
“So, Lily, do you still believe any of what you were telling me earlier? About being fat all your life, all those years you were growing up away from here.”
She clasped the stack of telltale photographs to her chest as Clay pulled her close and tears rolled from her eyes. Her voice broke as she muttered, “I wasn’t fat.” The betrayal made her heart feel as though it was burning, and it was made worse by the fact she’d believed it so thoroughly. She remembered seeing a fat girl.
“No, you weren’t.” Clay lifted the picture of her from the football game, dressed in her snug, faded jeans and the posed portrait and said, “Baby, you had some nice legs. You still do. Do you see it now?”
Knowing her body image was forever altered, Lily nodded and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Thank you for understanding. For not thinking I’m crazy.”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for. Self-perception is an odd thing. I’m glad we looked at these and you had the chance to lay some old demons to rest. I think I could’ve kept telling you that you’re not fat until I turned blue in the face. Now you’ve seen the truth for yourself.”
Lily nodded, feeling as though she were an onion who’d just had several layers peeled rather painfully back. Maybe she should continue the trend.
“Clay, there is something I need to talk to you about.”
Clay pressed his lips to the top of her head as he squeezed her gently in his arms. “Sure. What’s on your mind?”
“I have a—”
Lily was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Clay grunted in what sounded like frustration. Lily climbed from his lap and followed him to the door, caressing the head of the rising phoenix statue which he’d moved inside and positioned in the entryway for her.
Clay opened the door, and she gasped when she saw who stood on the front porch, dirty ball cap crushed in his hands.
“Dirk!”
Chapter Seventeen
JT’s brother nodded at her, appearing to have a difficult time looking her in the eyes. “Lily.” She noticed his eyes widened perceptibly as he got a look at her.
Lily had never had a problem with Dirk. Given the way Natalie had disrespected him anytime they were all together and the fact that he’d been cuckolded by her, Lily had felt a little sympathy toward him. Being mild-mannered in the King family meant you were low in the pecking order. Clay wrapped a hand around her hip, guided her behind him, and hardened his jaw as he looked Dirk over.
“Clay, this is my…”
Dirk held his hand out to Clay. “I promise I’m alone and I’m not here to make trouble, sir. I’m Dirk King. I’m Lily’s soon-to-be ex-brother-in-law.” Clay shook his hand and at Lily’s urging, welcomed him inside.
Dirk wiped his boots thoroughly on the mat, and stepped into the house. He looked around, evidently feeling awkward judging by the way he fidgeted and wadded his hat.
Seeking to break the ice, Lily said, “Dirk, I was just about to make a pot of coffee. Do you still take yours black?”
For some reason that seemed to affect Dirk in a way she hadn’t expected, and his chin lowered guiltily. “Sure, Lily. That’d be great.”
She gestured for him to go into the living room, noting that he seemed to feel very ill at ease. “Come in and sit down.”
Clay gently circled her upper arm with his hand. “Lily, are you sure you’re up to this? I can talk to him, find out what he wants, and send him on his way.”