Her small jewelry box and a keepsake box from a friend occupied a spot on the dresser, and what few books she had took up less than half a shelf on the bookcase. JT had never been a reader and had criticized her for being a book lover, so there had seldom been money in the budget to afford them. Over the years her collection had gotten damaged or simply disappeared. She found the container of old photographs in a box her father had packed for her. He’d kept the mementos her mother had saved from her growing-up years with the intent of passing them on to her. Thinking she needed to check in with him again, she pulled her phone from her purse and discovered the battery was dead. She plugged her cell phone charger in, wondering if JT had cancelled her from their account yet.
She was tempted to open the box of photos but decided against it. Her emotions were so volatile right now, and she didn’t want to waste any more time crying about the past and things she couldn’t change. The steady throb from the incision site intensified. She’d been ignoring it since they’d left the shambles of her house because she was used to pushing herself under stressful circumstances, but now she grimaced at the fresh dart of pain.
After retrieving the pain medication from her handbag, Lily retraced her steps to the kitchen where she found Clay starting the meal prep for supper.
“From now on I’ll help you with the chores and meals.”
“That would be great but I don’t mind. I usually keep it pretty simple. I hope you like stir-fry. You relax and let me do the cooking for now. What can I get you?” There was genuine inquiry in his warm green-gold eyes. It was odd the things that were taking her by surprise. JT had never asked what he could get for her.
“Just a glass of water. I forgot to take these earlier.”
He filled a glass and brought it around the counter to her instead of just reaching across. He looked closely at her face, making her feel a little self-conscious. “Are you in pain?”
“A little. I should’ve taken one earlier when the pain started.”
“I would’ve stopped for a bottle of water for you, Lily. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Because I’m not used to being around a considerate man.
Lily was unsure how to answer. She hated to keep reminding him of her ex-husband, so she simply said, “I didn’t realize how much time had passed. I didn’t want to trouble you.”
“It’s no trouble, Lily. Hey,” he murmured, stopping her when she would’ve pulled away from him. His hands were gentle on her shoulders as she crossed her arms in front of her. “What is it?” His eyes told her he wanted the truth, and she realized she wanted to give it.
“I’ve learned to ignore pain.” He wrapped her in a hug, and she couldn’t help it when she leaned into him. Briefly, she pressed her cheek into his firmly muscled chest, and his clean, manly scent filled her nostrils, relaxing her. “If I stopped every time I had pain over the years, I would’ve been in much worse straits. JT hated weakness. The only reason I made it here the other day was because I have a high tolerance and could ignore it.”
“Yeah, until it was almost too late,” he growled, sounding irate.
She looked up at him, trying to understand the emotion in his words. “It was just easier for me to ignore the pain over the years. I had to keep going, keep doing, moving forward otherwise I would’ve collapsed under all the pressure. I feel…”
Clay’s strong, muscular arms wrapped around her snugly, but he was careful to not squeeze too hard, which would increase her pain. “You feel what?”
“After all these years of treading water, of staying ahead of the tidal wave…I feel so weak. Helpless. I feel like I’m made of water myself, like there’s no strength or support for my muscles or bones. The least little thing would flatten me right now, and I’d just run through the cracks. Useless.”
The vibration of a soft growl rumbled through his chest, and her heartbeat sped up at the masculine sound, but not because it scared her. “Never useless, Lily. You’re hurt. You need time to heal. Take your meds. You can lie down if you want to. It’ll be a little while before supper is ready.”
Lily shook her head. “No. If I nap now I’ll have trouble falling asleep tonight. I didn’t get much rest in the hospital so I’m exhausted but I don’t want to be awake at three in the morning, either. Can I set the table?”
“Sure. Look around and make yourself at home.” He went to the entertainment center, turned it on, and slid a CD into the player. An old Keith Whitley song began playing.
Clay did indeed make an excellent stir-fry. She watched a man cook for the first time in many years, delighted by the enjoyment he took from the process as he diced vegetables, peppers, deveined gulf shrimp, and heated the peanut oil. He gave her a crooked grin because her stomach growled embarrassingly when the vegetables, garlic, and rice hit the hot oil and filled the house with a mouthwatering aroma. She gawked in shock when he threw a large pat of butter into the skillet and then smirked at her reaction.