“I don’t know what you mean by that.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know what you mean by any of the things you’ve done in the last hour, but I do know that if you ever harm any of my people and condemn them to such a terrible fate, I will cast you out. If one of my people vanishes and we can’t find them, I will have to assume that you’ve done what you threatened, and if that happens, if you do that to any of them, then you will have to free them, and then …”“And then what?” he asked.
“Death, Barinthus. You would have to die or we would never be safe, especially not here on the shores of the Western sea. You’re too powerful.”
“So, Doyle is the Queen’s Darkness, still to be sent out to kill on command like the well-trained dog he is.”
“No, Barinthus, I will do it myself.”
“You cannot stand against me and win, Meredith,” he said, but his voice was softer now.
“I have the full hands of flesh and blood, Barinthus. Even my father didn’t have the full hand of flesh, and Cel didn’t have the full hand of blood, but I have both. It’s how I killed Cel.”
“You would not do such a thing to me, Meredith.”
“And moments ago I would have said that you, Barinthus, would never have threatened people I loved. I was wrong about you; do not make the same mistake.”
We stared at each other across the room, and the world narrowed down to just the two of us. I met his gaze, and I let him see in my face that I meant what I’d said, every word of it.
He finally nodded. “I see my death in your eyes, Meredith.”
“I feel your death in my heart,” I replied. It was a way of saying that my heart would be happy to have his death, or at least not sad.
“Am I not allowed to challenge those who insult me? Would you make a different kind of eunuch out of me than Andais did?”
“You can protect your honor, but no duel is to the death, or to anything that will destroy a man’s usefulness to me.”
“That leaves little that I can do to protect my honor, Meredith.”
“Maybe, but it’s not your honor I’m worried about, it’s mine.”
“What does that mean? I have done nothing to besmirch your honor, only the pixie brat.”
“First, never call him that again. Second, I am the royal here. I am the leader here. I have been crowned by faerie and Goddess to rule. Not you, me.” My voice was low and careful. I didn’t want it to break with emotion. I needed control in this moment. “By attacking the father of my child, my consort, in front of me, you proved that you have no respect for me as a ruler. You do not honor me as your ruler.”
“If you had taken the crown as it was offered, I would have honored what Goddess chose.”
“She gave me a choice, Barinthus, and I have faith that she wouldn’t have done that if the choice offered was a bad one.”
“The Goddess has always allowed us to choose our own ruin, Meredith. Surely you know that.”
“If by saving Frost I chose ruin, then it was my choice, and you will either abide by that choice or you can get out of my sight, and stay out of it.”
“You would exile me?”
“I would send you back to Andais. I hear she has been in a blood-lust since we left faerie. She mourns her only child’s death in the flesh and blood of her people.”
“You know what she is doing to them?” He sounded shocked.
“We still have our sources at court,” Doyle said.
“Then how can you stand there, Darkness, and not want us all brought back into our power so we can stop the slaughter of our people?”
“She has killed no one,” Doyle said.
“It is worse than death what she does to them,” Barinthus said.
“They are all free to join us here,” I said.
“If you bring us all into our power then we can go back and free them from her dungeon.”
“If we rescued her torture victims we’d have to kill her,” I said.
“You freed me and everyone else in her Hallway of Mortality when you left this last time.”
“Actually, I didn’t,” I said. “That was Galen’s doing. His magic freed you and the others.”
“You say that to make me think better of him.”
“I say it because it is true,” I said.
He looked at Galen, who was glaring at him. Frost was just a little behind the other man, his own face the arrogant mask he wore when he didn’t want anyone to read his thoughts. Doyle moved out from between Barinthus and Galen, but he didn’t go far. Ivi, Brii, and Saraid were all standing a little apart from each other, the better to draw weapons. I remembered Barinthus’s words that I’d left a vacuum of power and the guards at the beach house had turned to him because I neglected them, and seemed not to trust the women at all. I had a moment to wonder where their loyalty would lie, with me or Barinthus.
“Your magic filled the Hallway of Immortality with plants and flowers?” Barinthus asked.
Galen simply nodded.
“I owe you my freedom then.”
Galen nodded again. He wasn’t one for silence. The fact that he wasn’t talking was a bad sign. It meant he didn’t trust what he might say.
Rhys came in from the opposite hallway. He took one look at all of us, and said, “I see what the noise was that I heard. That was Jeremy. He needs us at the crime scene soon if we’re coming. Are we?”
“We’re coming,” I said. I looked away from Barinthus to Saraid. “I’m told your personal glamour is good enough to hide in plain sight.”
She looked startled, then nodded and even bowed. “It is.”
“Then you, Galen, Rhys, and Sholto, come with me. We need to look human so the press doesn’t interfere again.” My voice sounded so sure of itself. The pit of my stomach was still clenched tight, but it didn’t show, and that was what it meant to be in charge. You kept your panic to yourself.
I went to Hafwyn and Dogmaela still on the couch. Dogmaela had stopped crying, but she was pale and still shaken. I sat down beside her, but was careful not to touch. She’d had enough touching for one day apparently.
“I’m told your glamour would be up to the job, too, but I’ll leave you here to recuperate.”
“Please, let me come. I want to be useful to you.”
I smiled at her. “I don’t know what kind of crime scene this is, Dogmaela. It could be one that would remind you strongly of something that Cel did. For today, stay here, but in future you and Saraid will be part of my guard rotation.”
Her blue eyes went a little wide, and then under the drying tears she looked pleased. Saraid came to us and dropped to one knee, head bowed low. “We will not fail you, Princess,” she said.
“You don’t have to bow like that,” I said.Saraid raised her head enough to give me those blue eyes with their white starbursts. “How would you like us to bow? You have but to ask and we will do as you prefer.”
“In public don’t do any of that, okay?”
Rhys walked wide around Barinthus, but was careful not to give his back to the other man. He was nonchalant about it, but if I noticed, I knew the other man did, too. “If you keep dropping to one knee in public, all the glamour in the world won’t hide the fact that she’s the princess and you’re her guards.”
Saraid nodded, then asked, “May I rise, your highness?”
I sighed. “Yes, please.”
Dogmaela dropped to one knee in front of me as the other woman stood. “I am sorry, Princess, I did not give you the honor due your station.”
“Please, stop that,” I said.
She looked up, clearly puzzled. I stood and offered her my hand. She took it, frowning. “Have you noticed that the men don’t kneel for me?”
The women exchanged glances. “The queen did not insist upon it always, but our prince did,” Saraid said. “Just tell us which greeting you prefer and we will give it to you.”
“A hello will be fine.”
“No,” Barinthus said, “it will not.”
I turned and gave him a less-than-friendly look. “This is not your business, Barinthus.”
“If you do not have their respect then you have no control over the sidhe,” he said.
“Bullshit,” I said.
He actually looked shocked, as if it wasn’t a term he’d thought to hear from me. “Meredith …”
“No, I’ve had all I’m taking from you today. All the bowing and scraping in the world didn’t make any of them respect Cel or Andais. It made them afraid of them, and that is not respect, that is fear.”
“You threatened me with the full hands of flesh and blood. You want me to fear you.”
“I’d prefer your respect, but I think you will always see me as the daughter of Essus, and no matter how much you might care for me you can’t see me as fit to rule.”
“That is not true,” he said.
“The fact that I gave up the crown to save Frost’s life has made you doubt me.”
He turned so I couldn’t see his face, which was answer enough. “It was the choice of a romantic, not a queen.”
“And am I a romantic, and not a king?” Doyle asked, moving a little toward the other man.
He looked from one to the other of us, and then said, “It was most unexpected that you, Darkness, would make such a choice. I thought you would help make her into the queen we needed. Instead she has made you into something soft.”