In hindsight, taking some days off had been the best idea ever, because Dalton couldn’t imagine going through all this and having to deal with work, or seeing Liam and Troy struggle to go to work. The good thing was, in a week, a lot of this shit would be over and done with. Kelly would have the house, Dalton would have his money, Troy would know what was happening with his dad and Liam could stop stressing about both of them a bit.
Dalton was sure it was because of the high intensity situations happening around them they’d bonded so well and so quickly. It was two days since they all decided to give the ménage a go, but so far, everything seemed less complicated. Dalton presumed things would be a hell of a lot more complicated, but there was no stress.
The pain he’d felt over deciding who to be with, worrying if they wanted him, how things would work out, how he would deal with the sexual side—it all seemed so much easier. It was thinking about it which was difficult. Once they'd all stopped thinking and just acted, everything was perfect.
“Steaks are ready,” Liam hollered from outside, shaking both him and Troy from their thoughts. “We eating out here or what?”
“Yeah,” Troy shouted back.
Dalton moved his feet from Troy’s lap, letting him stand and stretch while he got Mog comfy on the sofa. It was sweet they let him bring her back, but he was worried about her and the roof terrace. She wasn’t used to living high up, so they were all keeping an eye out for her and trying to keep her inside while she got used to it. Dalton still didn’t know if he would be living with them full time. A few days had been mentioned, so he was thinking of his future and where he would be. He could buy his own place in the same building if there was one for sale when the money freed up from the other house.
As they settled outside at the table, Dalton handed out the salad while Liam slapped the steaks on their plates, Troy opening up the bottles of beer he’d brought out.
“I was thinking I should buy my own place, something close to here. Maybe something in this building would be fine, but I don’t know how you’d both feel about it. Is it too close too soon?”
Liam and Troy stopped what they were doing and just looked at each other.
Dalton cleared his throat, feeling more edgy. “I mean, if it is, then it’s okay. It was just a thought.”
“You thinking of moving out already?” Liam sat down, taking a pull from his beer. “What’s happened? We freaking you out by being too full on?”
“Yeah, because if it is too soon, you know, the sex, and the living together.” Troy took hold of his hand. “Well, it doesn’t have to move like this. It just felt okay, and you haven’t said you felt it was fast, so…”
“No,” Dalton hurriedly broke in. “It’s nothing to do with what’s going on here. I just thought this was, you know, temporary, and I should think about where to go from here.”
Liam sat back, him and Troy both sharing the same look while Dalton fiddled with his food. “I don’t want you to leave, Dee. If you feel this isn’t right for you, then obviously you can go, but I don’t want you to feel you have to. If you need a new place, and this isn’t going the way we thought, and you need space, or we need space, then an apartment in the building is good. Keeping you close as possible, but honestly, the idea of you moving out kinda hurts.”
Troy nodded, tapping his knife on the plate distractedly. “Yeah, I don’t want you to go, that would feel all wrong. I mean, okay, if me and Liam didn’t live together and we weren’t the other two in the ménage, then maybe it wouldn’t feel so strange, but us two being together while you're not, it would feel all off.”
Dalton nodded. He shared their feelings and concerns, but it was their home, not his. “If I was sharing this place, even on a short term basis, I'd like to pay rent and contribute.”
Liam thought about it for a short moment, and then nodded. “I'm good with that. I'm sure we both want you to feel secure, and paying your way would help you out with feeling that way.” He smiled at Dalton. “We can think about long term later when you're more confident about this whole thing and feel more settled.”
Dalton nodded again, this time feeling happier about everything. “So, it’s okay if I plan to be here for a month, and then look at it again?”
“A month? Are we that short term in your mind?” Liam sliced up his steak, not looking at either of them, but his gruffer tone and colder edge to his body language gave off waves of judgement Dalton’s way.
“Liam, give him time.” Troy frowned, still playing peace maker.
Liam huffed as he gave up toying with his food, placing his fork down and looking between them. “I'm trying. I really am, but it’s difficult. I don’t like you leaving to go food shopping, and he’s talking about moving out.” Liam grunted. “I'm not used to letting the people I love get far away from me.”
“I know and I love that about you.” Dalton smiled, reaching for him. “I'm just thinking about us all, about this whole thing and trying not to rush either of you. I'm happy here, and I'm eager to stay. I just don’t want to presume anything.”
“Can you see further than a month with us?” Liam met his eyes and Dalton smiled.
“Sure I can. I don’t see an end, but what I want may not happen, and that’s not just down to me, but you two as well. We’re all in a rough place relationship-wise. You had just Troy for years, Troy’s had you and just come out of a relationship. I'm ending a ten year marriage and trying to get my head around my sexual side waking up. I feel like I'm a teenager again, no home, no job, I'm horny all the time and can't think straight.”
Liam grinned. “I like the horny part.”
“Yeah, I knew you would.” Dalton chuckled. “I'm just trying to say I'm not ready to end anything, but I don't want to add any pressure on you two either.”
“I'm okay with this, Dalton.” Troy kissed him gently. “It’s okay. Let’s move on as we are doing, but know you’ll always have a home here with us. I don’t want you to leave, and obviously Liam doesn’t, but like you say, let’s deal with it in stages.”
Dalton felt a little better knowing he was okay and they were fine with him being there, more than fine. If Liam had his way he’d be there permanently by the sounds of it, and Dalton didn’t have any reason to say no. If he wasn’t so afraid things wouldn’t work out and he’d be hurt, he’d quite happily voice how much he wanted to live with them, but it was too soon. He needed security and he needed to make sure in his own heart it really was long term with them.
There was only so far his head would listen to his heart, and although his heart was shouting out loud and clear for him to admit how much he loved these men, his mind kept holding him back. He’d been hurt, and he couldn’t let go just yet.
Chapter 42
Liam was still outside when Dalton came to find him thirty minutes after they’d taken their plates inside. He needed time to think about Dalton saying he was leaving, and although it hadn't happened, it hurt him so badly he couldn’t go back in and be around them. He couldn’t just put on a front and pretend it was all okay. He’d waited too long for this to let it slip through his fingers.
“Hey.” Dalton leaned against the wall and smiled at Liam. “I know I peed you off earlier.”
“You didn’t pee me off. You hurt me.” Liam folded his arms across his chest and looked over the night skyline of Manchester, the city office blocks shining in the distance. “I love you, and I don’t know if you believe me when I say it, but that’s the truth. Hearing you plan to move away after a couple of days, that hurt in here.” He tapped his chest and then looked to his feet.
“Liam, I believe you.” Dalton moved into his space, opening Liam’s tightly folded arms so he could worm against his chest. “You’re so stubborn, big man. Let me in, I want to hold you.”
Liam relaxed and let Dalton cradle his body, wrapping both arms around his back and breathing in his scent. “I can't let you go. The thought of you leaving, it made every inch of me shake. I can't be without you. Whether you're living beneath us here or across town, it changes nothing. I need you right here. I need you in my bed when I wake and I need you in my arms when I fall asleep. If you think I'd be okay because I have Troy, then you're wrong. I love both of you, and last month, if you told me I could love two people so strongly and so equally, then I would’ve called you a liar. It’s changed, but everything’s changed. Nothing between me and Troy would have happened if it wasn’t for you. We both need you, and I don’t want to make it sound like you're a binding agent or something because you're not, but I don’t want it to be just me and him. I love you, and I know right now you don’t feel the same way, but in time, I really hope I can convince you to love me… us.”
Dalton reached up, wrapping his arms around Liam's neck and staring into his eyes. “Liam… I'm not going anywhere, I promise, but I needed to know where I stood. This is your home. You paid for it and designed it. You asked me to stay while things settled down. You didn’t ask me to live here permanently.”