Discovering Dalton(58)

“Symbiotic,” Liam finished off for him. “It’s jealousy, fear, apprehension about the unknown. We’ve only ever really had the other to depend on. Yeah, there was our foster parents, but what we had, it was much closer than the type of love we felt for them.”

Dalton nodded. Without knowing everything they went through, he could still grasp from the bits of information he’d gotten from both of them how much they would mean to each other having lived through what they did at an early age.

“The thing is this…” Troy paused, biting his bottom lip while he considered what to say next. “Liam’s happiness is more important to me than my own, and, even though we connected in a way I've never done with anyone else, Dalton, I can't be the one to take you away from Liam.”

Dalton’s breath became shorter, the tightness in his chest aching already. Liam was the first to respond to his small signs and he moved beside Dalton, wrapping a heavy arm over his shoulder and holding him tightly. “Get him a glass of water, T.”

Troy rushed off and Dalton tried to stop the panic rising further by clinging onto Liam’s hand. He couldn’t let Troy walk away, but then the option of Liam being hurt made him feel sick.

“I can't do this,” Dalton breathed out.

Liam tightening his hold. “It’s okay, Dee. Don’t feel like this. Don’t let the pressure build up.”

“Liam… do you even want me? Do you want this relationship? Do you want to be with me and see Troy hurt?” Dalton held his head in his hands, breathing faster. “You just said not three days ago why we couldn’t work out, and that was because of Troy. You think it will be any easier now? Just let me go and let this end.”

Liam kissed the back of his neck, sending shock waves of need through Dalton’s entire body. “Dee, that’s going to break you in half, Baby. You can't do that. You can't be without us both.”

“But I can't be with you either. I can't. How can I be?” Dalton turned to him, catching hold of his shoulders and leaning in, kissing his lips tenderly, the memory of all their previous kisses flickering through his mind as he pulled back and looked into those brown eyes. “How can me and Troy go on with this between us?”

“How can you and I go on with this thing between you and Troy? I don’t know. I don’t have the answers you need to hear, Dee.”

Troy sat on the other side of Dalton, patting his back as he offered a glass of water to Dalton. “Panic attacks?”

“Yeah,” Liam whispered out against the back of Dalton’s neck. “Sit back, Dee, and have a drink.”

Troy smiled hesitantly at Dalton when their eyes met. “I had them, still have them… Not so often, but I know what you're going through.” Troy watched Dalton sip the water, then turned his attention back to Liam. “You never answered his first question, Liam. Do you want a relationship with him? Is this real, are you prepared to give up the old way of life and be with just him?”

Dalton and Troy looked to Liam, his gaze moving from Troy to Dalton. “I would change for you. I'd be prepared to change a lot and just see where we’d go. There’s still no certainty it would work out. With everything going on in your life right now, I'm not even sure a new relationship is a good thing. You're the rebound guy.” Liam rolled his eyes. “You're not out, you're not sure you even want me. Despite all that, I'm willing to give it a go, but I won't lie to you, this thing with Troy, it’s freaking me out, and not just because I'm hurt over you seeing someone else and that someone else turning out to be the only person I call family in my life, but because you're not fully invested in us. In the idea of us.”

“I didn’t know there could be an us. You were sure it wouldn’t happen, I was confused and agreed. It wasn’t until later when I met Troy that I knew this sort of relaxed relationship which centred on just sex wasn’t for me. And I know we have so much more than sex, Liam, I see that. You're the only person I've wanted in my life for the past month, and I'm going to be forever grateful for you being there when I felt like I couldn’t turn to anyone else. I've missed you so much these past few days you don’t even want to know.”

“It’s true.” Troy chuckled. “He’s been moping around and giving me all these sad faces.”

Liam smiled, a genuine one filled with hope. “I've missed you too.”

“Tell him why, Liam.” Troy was sterner now, and Liam grunted. “Just do it.”

Dalton looked between them, then sighed. “I'm not involved in this little mind reading thingy you two have, so can you please just use actual words so I feel like I'm not in the dark all the time.”

“It doesn’t matter now this has all happened.”

“It did at the bar. You said he was yours. So tell him why.”

Liam clenched his jaw, tapping his fingers on his thigh while he and Troy glared at each other. “I think you should be with Troy.”

“What?” Troy and Dalton choked out the word at the same time.

“I think you should be together, at least try it out. I'm happy as long as I've got you both as friends. I've always had my loving relationships without sex, it won't be any different for me. I’ll come home and see you two, then go elsewhere for a fu—sex.”

“By that he means he’ll bring them back here and we’ll get to hear him and his current hook-up through the thin walls.”

Dalton gulped, not sure how he could deal with hearing Liam fucking another man. Just the thought of it made him burn up, and it wasn’t with embarrassment, it was a mixture of horny need and jealousy. But then the fact Liam said he had a relationship with Troy, and it was one he obviously considered a loving one, perhaps even some confused sort of partnership which he didn’t see himself spooked Dalton even more. “I don’t know how I’d feel about that.”

“Sure you do,” Troy spoke without pause. “It’s written all over your face. You'd fucking hate it, just like I do.”

“It’s not just the other men which would bother me. Liam, you and Troy… You say you have the love and the other relationship stuff you need from him, everything but the sex… well, don’t take this wrong, but… that’s different from… brotherly.”

Liam slid his eyes to Troy, both of them doing the whole mind reading thing again before Liam spoke up. “I know.”

“Liam—” Troy was cut off quickly by Liam.

“I've said this for years, Troy. Dalton gets it in one little conversation. You seem to hide from the truth.”

“Are you in love with him?” Dalton sat back, too stunned by what was going on to really react.

Liam went quiet, hanging his head in his hands and sighing. “While you and I were apart, I realised something. I realised it as soon as you said you’d met someone else. I've spent the last few days wallowing in self-pity and anger, aimed at myself, not you. I realised I loved you.”

All three sat in silence, Dalton being the only one out of all three of them hearing this and being in shock. Obviously Troy had guessed.

Liam took in a deep breath, looking down at his boots tapping on the floor. “I have been it seems for a while. I've always liked you. Always wondered if you and I could ever be together. I guess waiting and thinking nothing would ever come of it, I didn’t look too deeply into my feelings, but when I held you for the first time, when I realised we could have more, I know now I had strong feelings for you.

“I do love you, Dalton, which is why this is so difficult for me, but what’s even harder is saying this to you.” He shot a quick glance at Troy, Dalton saw him pale, shaking his head as he moved further from them. “I realised when I understood how I felt for you, and I saw what being in love actually felt like, I'd had those emotions for a long time for someone else. I'd been in love with Troy for as long as I can remember. I never had anything to compare it to. Love wasn’t something I had in my life, and I just thought… I thought it was brotherly. I was wrong, but I would never have seen how wrong I was if I didn’t fall for you, Dalton.”

Dalton couldn’t move, but he felt Troy vibrating next to him, so Dalton forced himself to move, placing a hand onto his lap and gripping it tightly. Troy took Dalton’s hand in his as they both stared at Liam.

“So, you're in love with both of us?” Dalton whispered hesitantly.

“Yes.” Liam had never sounded more confident about anything before, and Dalton believed him without question.

“And yet you're willing to let both of us go?” Troy stood up, glaring angrily down at Liam.

“I didn’t say that.” Liam stood up, trying to calm his… not brother… his… Troy. “I said you and Dalton would be together and I would come home and be with you here, just not in the bedroom.”

“So, what you're saying is, we’d be just like we are but with one other person in the mix?” Troy arched a brow, shaking his head and flapping his lovely brown locks over his face. “You'd be in love with us, watching us move on without you. We’d all live together knowing how you felt for us and be okay with that, just having you as the third roommate, but not anything else?” Troy and Dalton had a second to judge how the other felt with one look, and Dalton shared Troy’s concern. He couldn’t do that to Liam. “How cruel do you think we are? We couldn’t do that to you, Liam.”