Disavowed(97)

Next she poured some shampoo into her hand and began washing his hair, careful to stay away from the bandages holding the cut on the side of his head together. Matt groaned at the feel of her fingers rubbing over his scalp and she increased the pressure, massaging in circles until shivers of pleasure cascaded through him. When she got to the back of his neck and began kneading the stiff muscles there, he couldn’t hold back a moan. Smiling, she rinsed the rest of him off then he felt her gentle kiss at the top of his spine before she shut off the water.

Once they were dried off they both climbed into his bed. She pulled the covers up and snuggled against his side, her head resting on his uninjured shoulder, one leg draped across his waist. Matt wrapped his right arm around her and closed his eyes on a sigh, grateful to have her next to him in the darkness. He was half hard from having her naked and sprawled over him but there was no way he was up to anything more than a cuddle at the moment.

“Tomorrow we’ll start getting your life back,” he murmured against the top of her head.

“Can’t wait.” She smothered a yawn and nuzzled the side of his chest with her nose. Her fingers trailed gently across his left pec, just below the edge of the bandage. “I was terrified that I’d lost you when I heard those shots,” she said quietly after a while.

He stroked her hair, understanding what that felt like because he’d experienced the same thing when she’d tackled Balducci. “You know the real reason why I yelled at you after, right?”

“You were worried about me.”

“Yeah, but that’s not the only reason.” He sighed. “I’ve already lost one woman who meant the world to me and I didn’t want it to happen again.”

Briar stopped stroking his chest and tilted her head back to look at him, even though she probably couldn’t see much of his face in the near darkness.

“So if I tend to be overprotective of you sometimes, that’s why. I can’t control it. I’m sure as hell not going to apologize for it.”

“I feel the same way about you.”

He grinned, remembering Schroder’s comment about her protecting him being sweet. It was, and he was a lucky bastard to have earned that kind of protectiveness from her. “Then let’s hope we’ll never have to deal with anything like this again.”

Briar sighed in agreement and nestled her cheek against him once more. She was quiet a long time before speaking again. “I don’t know what I’m going to do now. Where I’ll live, what I’m going to do about my job, or with us.” She let out a hard breath. “Matt, I seriously don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. I’m a project. A big one.”

She was trying to warn him off but he wouldn’t listen. He tightened his arm around her, squeezing, savoring the feel of her warm, sleek body pressed close to his. “Everyone’s a project, honey. But I’m still willing to take you on,” he teased.

He felt her smile form against his skin and then she fully relaxed into him. “Don’t know what I did to deserve a man like you, but I’m not complaining.”

“You mean, besides being insanely sexy and amazing?”

She laughed softly. “Yeah. I’m just warning you you’ll need to be patient with me. I’m way out of my element with this. I don’t want to mess things up between us.”

“We’re gonna have moments where we stumble, that’s just life. There’s no secret, no magic words to making a relationship work. It takes effort from both people, and a conscious decision to keep working at it. If we both commit to doing that and never quitting, we’ve got it made.”

She made a murmuring sound, kissed his chest. “Sounds deceptively simple and scary as hell at the same time, but I’ll try.” He heard her swallow hard. “I—I’ve never felt like this before and I’m afraid to trust it because everything’s happened so fast. I’m afraid of doing something wrong and losing you—”

“You won’t lose me.” And the truth was, Matt had never felt this way before either. “Not unless you want to,” he added.

“I don’t want to.” She tightened her hold on him, clearly battling her inner demons and it touched him deeply that she was willing to make this leap into the unknown for him.

He lowered his voice to a murmur. “So stop worrying. We’ll find our way, one day at a time.” He’d never thought he’d fall in love again after Lisa died, but he knew without a doubt that he loved Briar. What he felt for her was different than he had for his wife. It burned hotter, fiercer than anything he’d experienced before. Though he wanted to say it, he’d wait. She was struggling to adjust to everything and he didn’t want to push her too hard too fast. As a sniper he’d learned to be patient.