The familiar, sweet taste of the ice cream brought back a flood of bittersweet memories, starting with her parents and ending with Janaia. Matt was so damn considerate and always taking care of her. She vowed to herself that she was going to do something meaningful and sweet for him when she got the chance.
“So I’ve been wanting to ask you,” he said, dipping his spoon back into his bowl for another bite. “I just assumed you’ve never been married, but were you ever engaged or anything?”
“Anything meaning…?”
He shrugged. “Living with a guy.”
“Well, kind of, once.”
He swallowed the bite of ice cream. “Kind of?”
She pushed her spoon through hers. “I met him in my last year of college and we dated for a while. We moved in together about a year after I started doing ops even though he didn’t know exactly what I did for a living. For a while I thought he could be the one, that I might be able to have what my parents had.” She made a face, disgusted even now by her naïveté back then, ridiculous in itself because she’d been a trained assassin. She’d considered herself worldly, jaded and invulnerable to things like deceit. How wrong she’d been.
“He was an analyst working for The Company. I couldn’t tell him what I did, but I think he had a pretty good idea. I thought he loved me but it turned out he was using me to help further his career. It took Janaia to show me the truth of what was happening, and it wasn’t because she was just trying to protect me as an asset or keep me focused on my job. He’d been hacking into my e-mail and searching through my contacts, hoping to find someone useful I could put him in touch with to help him climb the ladder. As soon as I saw what was really going on, I left. Packed my stuff and left while he was at work, and never talked to him again.” He’d called and e-mailed for a couple weeks, then realized it was a lost cause and given up.
Matt was scowling now, looking all kinds of pissed off. “What a fucking douchenozzle.”
She laughed at his choice of words. “Yeah. And I was blind and stupid for not seeing the truth sooner. It could have ended my career if I hadn’t woken up. He’d also been snooping around for details about my work in the hopes he could find something of value to add to his analyses and impress his superiors enough to fast track him to a promotion. All my stuff was encrypted and I was always careful to not talk about where I’d been or what I’d been doing, but he was skilled enough to find things out if he’d had long enough to dig. Lying to him all the time was exhausting and I hated feeling guilty about it.”
“How long ago was this?”
“Just over five years.”
He shook his head, seeming surprised by that. “So that’s it? No one since?”
She shrugged and focused her attention on scooping up another mouthful of ice cream, slightly embarrassed. “I went on a couple more dates but I told you I didn’t have much experience, and my work just makes getting involved really hard. And messy.”
“I know what you told me. But that was before you almost killed me when you went down on me yesterday.”
Looking up at him again, she grinned. “If I’d wanted to kill you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”
His eyes sparkled with humor. “Is it totally weird that I think that’s sexy as hell?”
She grinned wider. “Yes.” He was something else.
He sat back, let his gaze roam over her face until it finally settled on her mouth. “I dunno. I’m thinking it wouldn’t be a bad way to go.”
That focused, absorbed look on his face as he said it wiped the smile from hers as a rush of warmth suffused her body and settled low in her belly. Then he took another bite of ice cream, his eyes smoldering even as he smiled at her.
Definitely time to cash in that rain check.
They finished up and put the dishes in the dishwasher. “We’re both beat,” Matt said, stepping up behind her to wrap his arms around her middle and set his chin on her shoulder. “Why don’t you go grab first shower and then we’ll crash?”
She didn’t have to ask to know he meant they’d crash together, and she was so on board with that. “Okay.”
In the master bathroom upstairs she stripped and checked her stitches before getting into the shower. They were healing up well and weren’t that sore anymore, just a little tender in spots and a bit itchy. She stepped under the pounding spray and sighed at the feel of the hot water rushing over her, allowing herself a few moments to savor it before shampooing her hair and scrubbing her body with the bar of soap.