Dirty Thoughts(84)
She pursed her lips to keep from talking.
“I thought that eighteen-year-old kid who wanted the wife and family and you was an idiot. I thought he was full of dreams that in reality, I couldn’t fulfill. I spent ten years telling myself I wanted nothing to do with him and everything he wanted.” He shook his head and looked down at his boots. “And now, I’m finally starting to realize he was the one who had it right all along.”
Her breath stuttered. The sound of the river now mixed with the pounding of her heart in her ears.
He lifted his head. “I know I messed up, Jenna. You were patient with me while I figured this out, and then I messed up, kinda like I knew I would. When we talked the day Asher got home from the hospital . . . well, I thought he was going back to his mom. She left her dumb-ass husband, and all I could do was feel sorry for myself. I wanted it all gone, everything that reminded me of how great this summer has been.” He took a step forward. “And then Asher asked to stay. He said I gave him a family.” Cal thumped his fist on his chest, and a bright smile came over his face. God, he was beautiful like this, pouring his heart out to her in a way he never did, in a way the eighteen-year-old Cal hadn’t known how. “I was so focused on whether I was doing everything right and that one setback threw me. But when I looked in the mirror and realized that if I kept going the way I’d been before you and Asher . . . well, I was turning into my father.” Another step forward, and Jenna held her ground. “I’ll always be a stubborn bastard, Sunshine. But I want to be that with you. And I’m standing here now, telling you that I’m done trying. No more trying. I’m just doing. I’ll be your man if you’ll be my woman again.”
She wasn’t sure Cal had ever said that many words at one time in his life. But he had now, and he’d said them to her. She’d seen Cal without his clothes on, yet he’d never been this naked in front of her. He still wore that bright open smile, and his eyes were bluer than she’d ever seen them, reflecting the sunlight filtering through the trees.
This was what she’d wanted to hear for weeks, this conversation where they laid it all out on the table. But she had one question, which had been niggling in the back of her head ever since that night at the country club. “Before you got that call, those words you said to me . . . did you mean them?”
His brows furrowed. “When we were dancing?”
She nodded, breathless.
He smiled slowly, a slight flush staining his cheeks. “I meant them then, Jenna. And I mean them again now. I love you.”
She didn’t want to be stubborn. She didn’t want to punish him for the week of hell he’d put her through, because that wasn’t who she was. She trusted Cal, deep in her heart, and trusted that he was telling the truth now. He was decisive, and she had to allow him a couple of speed bumps to get over the decision he’d made recklessly ten years ago. She was just glad he finally came around.
Jenna took a step forward, until their chests brushed, and she looked up into his eyes. “I don’t think I ever stopped being your woman, not for ten years.”
“I love you, Sunshine,” he growled, and then his big hands gripped her face, and his body slammed into hers, and his mouth attacked her, demanding, hot, needy, pressing her lips open so he could taste her.
She moaned into his mouth, circling his wrists with her fingers, digging in her nails. They sealed this moment with a kiss.
Then they were stumbling back to the blanket, and Cal’s fingers were undoing her jean shorts. Her mind raised a tiny red flag, because they were in public, but that flag wilted because in this moment, she didn’t care. In fact, it turned her on a little. Their first time had been here, right at River’s Edge. So this was only fitting.
Cal lowered her to the blanket, shoving her shorts down over her hips. His lips were fused to hers, and she was fine with that, unwilling to part. Her hands had slipped under his T-shirt to touch as much of his hot skin as she could.
She heard the lowering of his zipper and the crinkle of a condom wrapper. She bucked her hips when she felt his erection between her legs.
“This okay?” he panted against her mouth.
“More than okay.”
“I love you,” he said, struggling to roll the condom onto his hardness. It was like he couldn’t say it enough.
She laughed against his lips. “I love you too, you stubborn bastard.”
And then he was inside of her, his hands gripping her hips, his face shoved into her neck. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and then kicked off her shorts and underwear so she could wrap her legs around him.