“And so you made sure she got healthy.”
“Yeah.” Cailin knew him well. “She started staying with me to get away from the pressure at home and let herself heal. Her dad inferred we were sleeping together. You should have seen how happy he was.” Alex shook his head in disgust. “I was already being groomed for a position within Keane Industries. Then he came down with his ultimatum. Sara Beth was devastated.”
And why wouldn’t she be? Her own father hadn’t cared about her personal happiness so much as what he deemed was best for the company’s future.
“So you got engaged. Then what?”
“We held firm as long as we could, hoping the engagement would appease him. Sara Beth had been rising steadily within the company, learning from the ground up after graduating from business school, but when your father doesn’t want you in a position of authority, it’s the ultimate glass ceiling.”
Cailin’s voice held a mix of understanding and shock. “He would promote you but not his own daughter?” His chin bumped her head when he nodded, and Cailin asked, “How did she end up in charge of the development department then?”
Bitterness rose at the memory. “He agreed to make me senior VP upon our marriage.”
“And in that position, he couldn’t block you from promoting her yourself.”
“Exactly. We married and moved to Atlanta, and here we are. Sara Beth’s work in development has caught the notice of some key board members. Eventually we hope to persuade them to make her my equal when John retires, allowing us to run the company jointly.”
Cailin soothed him with quiet strokes along his thigh. “And in the meantime, you’re stuck in a holding pattern.”
“Yeah. Over time we realized what deep shit we were in. The reality of keeping such a big secret hit hard, but we managed. It helped that Sara Beth had Sam. They’re committed partners. She didn’t have to worry about being alone.”
“Not like you did.” Cailin squirmed, demanding his touch, and he realized his hand had stilled on her belly.
“Yeah,” he said again. Tucking his other arm under her neck, he pulled her back against him, holding his miracle in his arms. “Then you came along.”
“But what if I hadn’t? Were you—” The muscles under his hand tightened. “You plan to run the company together. Are you just planning to stay married forever?”
His sigh ruffled her curls. “With my move into the senior VP position, we thought I might be entrenched enough that an amicable divorce would still enable the two of us to fill our positions after John retired. But—”
“But what?”
“But lately John’s been demanding other things.”
“Like?”
He braced himself. “Like an heir.”
“Oh.”
That one soft sound conveyed more pain than he’d thought possible. Which was why he hadn’t brought it up yet. When they’d agreed to commit only to each other—odd for a married man to say to anyone besides his wife, but there it was—Cailin had told him about her infertility so they wouldn’t have to continue using condoms. Alex still didn’t know how he felt about having kids, but he knew he wanted Cailin in his life, in his arms, and if she couldn’t have kids, hell, maybe they’d eventually adopt. Whatever they needed to do. A couple didn’t have to be married to build a family together, however they chose to do so.
That didn’t mean another woman carrying his biological child wouldn’t be a hard blow.
Finally she asked, “Would you…do that?”
“We’ve talked about me being a donor for Sara Beth and Sam before. Now? I really don’t know.”
Silence settled between them once more. Alex didn’t break it, wanting to give Cailin a chance to digest everything. Instead he threw his leg over both of hers, surrounding her, reinforcing with his body what he’d already begun to realize in his heart: he’d never leave her.
Finally Cailin stirred. In a low, tender voice she said, “I think that would be very special.”
His eyes closed at the powerful surge of emotion in his chest, an emotion he finally allowed himself to acknowledge: love. He loved this woman. She amazed him. She touched something in him that he’d kept hidden from the world. She gave selflessly; he couldn’t imagine more courage, more strength than he saw in her heart.
And he couldn’t tell her.
As things stood, he could not be wholly hers. And as certain as he was in that moment that his heart would forever belong to her, he refused to shackle her to him, not with the reality that she could be waiting five, even ten years. No, it had to be her choice: stay or go. Always hers. Because she deserved more than the love of a married man.