Dirty Little Secret(20)

Proving she’d heard his and Ian’s conversation despite their low tones, she said, “Yeah, you noticed.” With a wink, she patted him on the chest and moved toward the door. “Enjoy your lunch. I have a date.”

A quick glance at Ian revealed even more laughter at Alex’s expense. “Just be happy she’s not the jealous type,” the man said with a nod toward Sara Beth’s departing back. “Little or not, she can still kick your ass.”

Alex balled his hands into tight fists and planted his feet hard, fighting the overwhelming urge to lodge one or the other right in his friend’s cocky jaw.

Damn.

* * * *

The minute the elevator doors closed behind Cailin, she jammed the side of her hand into her mouth and bit down hard. She wouldn’t scream; she wouldn’t. That would bring every self-respecting employee for miles, and then she’d have to explain why the heck she’d screamed in the elevator for no obvious reason. It would be better if the elevator just dropped her to her death right here and now.

When she got home, then she’d scream. She would turn on a nice, hot—scalding hot—shower, get naked, and get rid of her anxieties all at once. It was the perfect solution, assuming she could hold on that long. And that the neighbors didn’t call the cops. Now that would be embarrassing.

Elevator. Drop. Please.

They could always assume you were having hot, screaming sex.

Didn’t she wish.

No, she didn’t, because the truth was—the truth she’d awakened to just an hour or so ago—she couldn’t imagine having hot, screaming sex with anyone but Alex. Married Alex. Two-timing Alex, as contrary as that seemed to what she’d viewed of his character the past two weeks. The Alex she was drawn to, the one with veracity, with a command and compassion totally at odds with who she knew him to truly be.

From the moment she listened to him walk away that night at her house, she’d been living in a fog, a haze that surrounded her, insulated her, made work and living and breathing bearable. Even the realization that she would divorce Sean had not been so difficult to accept. Maybe because she had done something completely abhorrent to her, however unwittingly: she’d had sex with a married man.

Or maybe it stemmed from her confusion about Alex. She’d watched him carefully over the past fourteen days; one thing she would never have pegged him as was an adulterer. He conducted the business of Keane Industries with precision and consistency and attention to detail. He treated employees and customers with courtesy, yet stood firm against anyone who did not do the same. She would have sworn on a stack of Bibles a mile high that the man she worked for embodied honor and integrity and loyalty.

Yet she knew for a fact that he was not faithful.

His deception was flawless, even with Sara Beth. The woman was in the office constantly, dropping in for lunch, just to chat, as well as frequently consulting Alex on business matters. Cailin witnessed them together often, and not a single crack in Alex’s facade indicated he felt anything but totally content with Sara Beth. They were so close that it seemed at times they communicated with their own language, on a wavelength 100 percent separate from the rest of the world. They genuinely loved each other. How could a man who loved like that generate such a deep emotional connection in another woman? Deep enough that Cailin was very much afraid she could easily care about him.

But not love. Please, dear Lord, not love.

Numbness had protected her when the confusion and chaos and pain became too much. But Alex’s touch today had brought her back to life, like Sleeping Beauty awakening from her frozen sleep. Only she wanted desperately to go back. Being awake hurt too much.

Shaking out her throbbing hand, she stepped off the elevator and into the lobby. Muggy heat hit her in the face when she opened the lobby door and headed down the street. A round of errands would keep her out of the office for a little while; thank goodness Mondays were her designated gofer days. The last time she did this, she’d been trying to decipher Alex’s detailed instructions, the various brands he needed, finding the locations of the shops. Today would have been smoother had she not been shaking from his touch, from the tenderness in his eyes that confused her all the more.

By the time she made it to her last stop, Beaker’s, her strength was zapped and droplets of sweat trickled in rivulets from under her thick hair. She juggled Alex’s dry cleaning around so she could reach into her purse and grab a clip, jamming it into a quick twist at the back of her head to get the weight of the heavy curls off her neck. The relief as she walked into the cooler shade of the sandwich shop hit instantly.