I watched the shadowy figure pass by the window again. Well, I didn't just spend a fortune and fly across halfway across the country to sit in my car. I pushed open the car door and walked toward the boathouse office.
I bit down on my bottom lip. I knew Blake wouldn't be excited to see me. He had made that clear months ago. It wasn't like I hadn't tried to call. Every time his phone rang it went straight to voicemail. I didn't have a choice. I had to do this. I had to live in truth this time. It was the right thing to do-the only thing I could do. I knocked on the door.
"Hold on." I heard the friendly voice through the other side.
"Sierra?" Cole stepped back with a puzzled look on his face. "What are you doing here?"
"Can I come in?" I smiled, feeling my knees go weak. I'd come so far, but now that I was here I was losing my nerve. And I couldn't count on body not to roll with nausea at any second.
The plane ride had been uncomfortable and embarrassing enough.
"Yeah, come on in." Cole pulled the door to the side, allowing me to step inside. "So, I'm just going to guess you're here to see Blake."
I twirled on the heels of my boots. "Good guess. Is he here?" I wasn't sure if I should hope he would appear from the office.
When I played this scenario out in my head, it didn't include Cole.
"Yes and No. How did you know he was on the island and not Orlando?"
I shrugged, embarrassed to tell him I had stalked his cousin's social media accounts. Everywhere Blake went there were pictures. I knew he had landed in Raleigh yesterday. That only meant one thing-he was here. He had a bye week. The team was off for almost two weeks.
"A good guess?" I faked dumb.
"Well, he's not here. He's up at the Dock House. It's Tuesday. You remember Tuesday nights around here, don't you?" He had taken a seat on a nearby stool.
"Of course I do. I just didn't know where I'd find him, so I thought I'd try here first." The disappointment that Blake wasn't here washed over me. Or was it relief?
"Don't look so sad, girl. He'll be back."
I took a step toward the door. I hadn't flown hours and then driven three more to sit around and wait for Blake to show up. I had to get this over with.
"Thanks, I'm going to go see him."
"I guess some things don't change." Cole exhaled.
"What does that mean?"
"You always going after what you want-same ol' Sierra." Cole smiled.
"Some things do change," I replied softly. I had to fight the instinct to rest my hand on my belly.
Cole's playful banter face transformed to shock.
"What's going on? Why are you here?"
"To see Blake," I answered.
"Uh-huh. And you just showed up here on a Tuesday night?"
"We need to talk. Ok? We left a lot of things unresolved at the end of the summer."
"That's what you call it?"
I felt the tingles of panic work through my body. "Why? Did he say something to you? Do you know something, Cole?"
He backed up. "I'm not getting in the middle of this again. I played my part when you left the first time. I watched the destruction of my cousin implode in front of my eyes."
"Wow. I didn't know you thought that about me."
He hung his head. "I don't, Sierra. But you two need to get your shit straight. You belong together, not apart. And the sooner you both figure it out, the sooner you can stop hurting each other."
"That's why I'm here," I admitted.
"Good." He shoved his hands in his pockets.
"Could you do something for me? A small favor?" I asked.
"Depends."
"Could you give me time to get there? Please don't tell him I'm here. I need to talk to him. It's important." I was suddenly more afraid than ever that if he knew I was on the way he might be the one to run this time.
"I can do that." He grinned.
I looked at the clock on the wall. "I need to go if I'm going to catch him."
"Aw, you'll be fine. He'll be there 'til closin' time." Cole winced as soon as the words were out of his mouth.
My smile changed quickly. "What are you saying? He planned to stay out all night?"
I tried to keep the jealousy and suspicions out of my voice, but it was hard to forget the fan girl groupies who were always waiting for Blake after his shows. Any one of them would be more than happy to go home with him, if he gave them the chance. A sour pit formed in my stomach.
"You've been gone almost two months, girl. I think you need to get down there and see for yourself." Cole walked to the office and turned off the lights.
I fumbled with the doorknob and walked out, the briskness of October wrapping around my shoulders. Cole was right behind me. I looked at the rental car and thought of the twenty-minute drive to the Dock House. I wasn't sure I could make it there; my emotions were all over the place.
Cole patted me on the shoulder before walking to his Jeep. "Enjoy the show. It was good seeing you." He climbed in and peeled onto the road before I could pepper him with more questions about Blake. I wasn't prepared for what I was going to say to him. How did I tell him he was about to become a father?
Damn it. I better get this over with.. I sent the car into drive and made my way to Oakton, to Blake.
37
Sierra
Tuesday nights in October were a far cry from the crowded summer nights I was used to. I pulled into an empty parking space close to the Dock House sidewalk. Blake's truck wasn't here, but Cole had told me this was where he was for the night.
This was the last place I should be. The absolute last place. I'd woken up this morning in hot and dusty Dallas, and now I was standing outside of the Dock House while boats rocked in their slips.
My heel made a hollow sound as it hit the parking lot pavement. I slammed the car door behind me and inhaled, taking in this place and all the memories we had made.
The wind whipped through my hair. I hesitated. This was all wrong. I shouldn't be here. But I had to know. I had to see him again.
I pushed open the door, my heart in my throat, my palms dewy with perspiration, my breath fevered.
Was any of it real, or had it all just been a flash of summer heat?
I didn't know whether to run into the bar screaming his name or sneak in like a spy. Right now, nothing made any sense.
I took a deep breath and walked through the door, opting for the less dramatic entrance choice. The lights were low and candles dotted the tables. From behind the bar, I saw the bartender leaning on her elbows, eyes fixed on the stage. I scanned the room, skipping over the locals who were listening to the performance. There he was, sitting on the stage, holding his guitar. I walked in as the song he was playing ended.
The handful of drinkers started clapping. I'd never seen the place so empty.
"One more before I take a break, y'all." Blake spoke into the mic. "This is something new I just wrote. So just indulge me for a minute. I'm bearing a little of my soul tonight."
My throat tightened. I stepped one foot in front of the other and slid into an open seat at the back of the bar. I thought maybe the shadows would protect me. He couldn't see me in the dark corner.
"Whoooo, baby. You sing whatever you want!" one of the fan girls shouted from a nearby bar stool.
I shot her a death stare.
Blake's laugh filled the bar. "Calm down, Cece. I'll play your song in the next set."
I thought he winked at the girl. Maybe this was a mistake. A huge mistake. What was I thinking coming here? That he would be different? That he would change? That he had held a flame for me as deep and heated as the one I held for him.
No matter how I tried, this man was etched in my soul. He was everything to me. I knew that before I found out about the baby. I'd known it since our first kiss. I knew it at our last kiss. My ribs pinched together at the thought that there was someone else in the picture. He had moved on so quickly. And I had mourned him. I had cried for us.
One note launched into the air, followed by another, then Blake started to sing.
Summer winds in your hair
Feeling more than the salty air
I should have known when you smiled
That you were taking my heart
When you left this sleepy town
So why did you have to kiss me like that?
Girl, why did you have to kiss me like that?
With our feet in the sand
And your body in my hands
There was no way to keep from
Falling under your spell
So why did you have to kiss me like that?
Girl, why did you have to kiss me like that?
Summer rolled out like a wave
You're gone, but I still see you in this place
So why did you have to kiss me like that?