“Doll?” He asks before kissing my neck. “You really think you’ll be alright?” I consider his words.
“Some days I’m over worked and high stressed and I can’t seem to figure anything out. But I only need to make it one day at a time. Some moments I remember and it’s too much. But most of the time I’m alright. I can be okay. I can live through this. I can continue to live through anything I suppose.”
He’s quiet for a long time. So long I think maybe he fell asleep and I close my eyes, waiting for sleep to take me.
“I wish I could take it all away.” His chest vibrates against my back as I register his words.
“You do more than you know.” It’s true. I feel… alive. I haven’t felt so much in months. So much desire. I mostly just run through to-do lists. Other than Jax. Jax has kept me sane. “Jax makes it all worth it, you know?” He makes me want to smile. And I read somewhere that if you smile enough, it will make you happy. You can’t help it. It’s biology or something. “If I didn’t have Jax, I don’t know that I would’ve survived it all.”
“I hope you know how strong you are, Becca.” Strong? I wouldn’t call myself strong. Tears prick again. I don’t ever feel strong. I feel so weak. I feel like I’m holding on to nothing, grasping for a thread that’s taunting me. Tears leak from the corners of my eyes and I try to wipe them without him knowing. But he sees. He rises from behind me and kisses away the tears on my cheek and chin.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry doll.” A heavy sob wracks through my body. I don’t know why I’m crying. I don’t want to cry. My throat closes as another sob leaves me and I bury my face in my hands. “Let it out, doll. It’s okay, I’ve got you.” I turn in his arms and cry into his chest. His strong arms wrap around me and hold me close.
“You’re alright, doll. I’ve got you.” His hands run up and down my back in soothing strokes as he kisses my hair. His loving touch is so unexpected. Everything about him is unexpected.
His hot breath on my neck makes my entire body shiver. Another kiss, this time on the tender spot just below my ear. I feel wrapped in his presence. Secure in his embrace. Something in me cracks. My armor falls. I feel myself melt into him.
I feel a need to be comforted by him. A need I only caved to once years ago. It’s haunted me and left a deep hurt in my chest that I’ve grown used to. It tightens and twists, threatening to consume me. A mix of loneliness and insecurity. It fucking hurts. And feeling his arms around me, soothing me. The pain pangs in my chest. I need this. I need him.
I feel a spark ignite deep in my core and a haze of lust come down around me. The same sensation when we first met. In his office. My lips part in memory. When he took me against the wall. I turn and push my breasts against his hard chest. My hand cups the back of his head and my lips press against his gently. He moans into my mouth as his tongue tastes mine. His fingers spear my hair before fisting it at the nape of my neck. He pulls back and his light blue eyes look deep into mine.
My breath hitches and my body’s overcome with a feeling of ice pricking my heated nerve endings. A chill goes through me as he searches my face for something. Please don’t reject me. I need this. I whimper as he pulls my hair back and leaves open mouthed kisses along my jaw and down my neck.
Relief washes through me and the heat in my core rages with need. I rock my pussy against his thigh for relief. His firm hand pushes my hip down onto the mattress as he climbs on top of me. He never lets up the kisses on my neck. His hands roam my body, down my waist, my hips. He parts my legs and settles between them and pulls back to look down on me.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” I close my eyes and drop my head against the pillow. I’m in dangerous territory. My heart is begging for more. I’m only going to end up hurt. I know it. But I want it. I want him. I need him.
I open my eyes and find him shirtless, his ripped abs and corded muscles enhanced by the shadows in the dark. His hands grip my hips before traveling up my belly. His thumbs pulling my shirt. I lift my back and let him pull the shirt over my head, baring myself to him. His mouth immediately comes down as he suckles a nipple into his mouth and palms the other breast. His hot tongue massages my hardened peak and my back arches, pushing more of myself into him.
His deft fingers twist the other. The hot sensation is directly linked to my clit. A whimper escapes me. I brush my heat against his hard cock. Too much fabric between us. I need more. My heels dig into the mattress. Needing more friction. His teeth bite down gently as he pulls away from me. His grasp on the other breast becomes nearly violent as he pulls back, giving a hint of pain that only adds to the intense pleasure. A wave of heat travels down my body.