She wasn’t one of them. “You overcame your past and you are an amazing friend. Loyal to my father. To the Major and Angel. Even to Sebastian, since you could just let him crash and burn.”
He smirked. “But it’s so much fun showing him up.”
“Don’t change the subject.” She placed her hand on his thigh. “So you didn’t come visit me, didn’t give me any indication that you’d even thought about it because…?”
“There’s no easy answer to that.” Asa hesitated. “I’ve thought about it a lot. I think I just wanted to make sure you…” He paused again, running a hand through his hair. “Did I ever tell you about my mother? She was sixteen and forced to marry her jackass of a boyfriend when he got her pregnant with me. She had no idea who she was going to be or what she wanted, but she’d been smart and she had a talent for painting. Her regrets made her bitter. Led her to one bad decision after another until she made one with fatal consequences. I was fourteen.”
Delilah frowned. “You never told me.”
“It’s not something I like to talk about.”
“I understand.”
“I know you do.”
“It’s a little different for me.” Delilah insisted. “My mother wasn’t sixteen or forced to get married. She wasn’t bitter because life beat her down. She was just selfish. She always wanted whatever it was she didn’t have. At least yours had an excuse.”
She paused, wondering how they’d gotten on the topic of mothers when she’d asked why he hadn’t come to see her. “Is that why? Did you stay away because you thought I was anything like Valerie? After what Dad went through? Did you think I was someone who couldn’t be satisfied with a mechanic?”
“No, damn it, no—this isn’t coming out right.”
“I hope not.” She needed space. She stood and walked around gathering her clothes from the floor. Her underwear was destroyed, so she slipped into her jeans without them. “Look, it doesn’t matter. It was a stupid question. You had your reasons for staying away, just like I did. And now…well now either you or your buddy Sebastian will buy the garage and all my reasons for coming back will be…”
She couldn’t finish. She was trying to sound casual. Let him off the hook. She wasn’t one of those women who spent the night having mind-blowing sex with the only man they’d ever loved and then expected a happily ever after.
Loved. Her hands covered her mouth as the realization struck her.
“Delilah?”
She shook her head. “I saw the old service truck in the parking lot. Does it still run?”
“What?” Asa looked confused. “Of course it does. Delilah what—”
“I need the keys.” She pulled her top over her head and grabbed her bra, shoving it in the pocket of her jacket as she slipped it on. “Give me the keys, Asa. I’m fine I just need to get back to the hotel.”
And she couldn’t imagine getting back on his bike. Not now, not after everything they’d just done.
“Delilah stop.” Asa took her shoulders in his hands and held her still. “This is crazy. This is not something we’re doing.”
“It’s not? Because it kind of feels like we’re doing it.”
He shook his head. “I need to explain what I meant.”
“And I need a break from the explaining, Asa. This isn’t a rejection—sometimes these things just happen. You’re grown up enough to understand that, right?”
His head jerked backwards as though she’d hit him and he let her go. God, she was a bitch. Why had she said that? Repeated, word for word what he’d said to her the night he’d broken her seventeen-year-old heart.
He walked over to his pants and pulled out a set of keys, tugging one off its loop and holding it out for her without a word.
“Asa, I’m sorry.” She wasn’t sure how this had happened. A few minutes ago she’d felt closer to him than she ever had to anyone, and now it felt like everything was shattering around them. It had only been one night. Eleven years of waiting and all they’d gotten was one night. “I didn’t mean to say that.”
“It’s okay, Del.” His rough voice was subdued. “I know.”
She took the keys and walked to the hatch. “I’m not sorry about tonight.” Just the way it ended.
“I know, Delilah. Drive safe.”
She made it to the truck and onto the 101 before she started to cry.
Chapter Five
She drove toward Sausalito the next morning, listening to Drew and Darcy chatting to each other on their three-way phone call while trying to follow the GPS instructions to Sebastian’s house.