In some ways, it was phenomenally easy to kill Javier this way. He would know that too. But in this province he had few enemies. What enemies he had I’m sure were ones masquerading as his friends. In fact, I knew for certain he had no friends. I assumed he knew that too.
And Javier would probably travel without telling anyone. Maybe Esteban. No one would expect to see him here, so he would be safe. In Cualican, where he lived, that was a different story. People would expect him. But here, even though he probably felt inconvenienced by the travel, he would actually be fairly safe.
Except for me.
“So,” Alana started, scratching at the top of her cast nervously.
“So. Are you ready?”
She shook her head, her eyes wide and searching. “What happens if I go with him? If he promises me safety? What happens to us?”
I tried to smile but failed. “I’ll be here whenever you need me.”
“You’ll stay in Mexico?”
“Of course.”
“Don’t you have to go home?”
“I don’t have to go anywhere, Alana.”
“What if I want to see you again?”
“You email me.” Even though it was the best way to get a hold of me it still felt so cold, so wrong, to have our contact with each other go from skin to skin to email to email.
“Not call?”
“I’ll probably get a new phone and number to be safe.”
“Oh,” she said, looking panicked.
I put my hand on her leg, relishing the warmth of her skin. “When I get a new phone, I will email you the number. Any time you want to leave, I will come and get you. Your brother won’t hold you there. Remember, this all has to be your choice and your choice alone.”
“But if I choose to go, this is it? I mean, I won’t get to see you before?”
I wiggled my jaw back and forth and breathed out through my nose. “It wouldn’t be safe for him to see me. I’d rather not, you know, be exposed to a notorious drug lord if I can help it.”
She nodded. “I get it. Well, I guess you should probably go take your place.”
Something in me seized but I did what I could to ignore it. “All right. If you don’t go with him, if anything, anything at all seems the slightest bit wrong, change your mind. Just get advice. See what your options are. And come back here to the car. I’ll meet you and we’ll be on our way.”
“Derrin,” she said, adjusting in her seat to face me. She looked so soulful in that moment that I wished to god she was calling me Derek instead. It would only feel real when she used my real name, knew the real me, everything I was, and still stayed.
But she wasn’t staying.
Before I could say anything stupid, I quickly leaned over and grabbed her face in my hands, kissing her hard, like I was trying to create an impression on my lips, like she could seep into my skin and stay a permanent reminder. She tasted sweet and felt soft and that fire inside me was burning away. No matter what, no matter what, I would protect her.
I pulled away, breathless and surprised to see the moisture in her eyes, tears threatening to overflow. I quickly grabbed the gym bag from the back seat that had the sniper rifle in it and then left the car, shutting the door behind me. The sound echoed through the garage, lonely and cold.
I didn’t look back but I would see her again. I was on my way to protect her.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Alana
I’d never felt so unsafe, so alone, until I watched Derrin walk away from the car and disappear into a stairwell. I don’t even know how he managed to break into a locked door so seamlessly, so naturally, without causing any attention, but he did. Now I was sitting in the Camry wishing I could keep an eye on the time. A watch would have been nice. A new phone would have been nice.
Sometimes I was hit the overwhelming reality that my life would never be the same again. Something as simple as losing my phone, all my pictures, my useless contacts, my apps – something so normal as that and I felt like I’d never be able to have a good life again. Just the idea that Luz and Dominga were probably calling it nonstop, calling the hotel, checking up on me, was a wrench in my heart. Dominga’s maid friend was probably searching the room on her behalf, panicked at our disappearance.
That was providing someone else didn’t get to the room first. I could finally see why Derrin didn’t want me in contact with them at all. I hated that they had to worry but they would be the first people my enemies would go after for information. And if I knew anything it was how much they loved to extract the truth from their victims. When the victims didn’t know anything, it made it even worse.
I didn’t wipe the tear that rolled down my cheek but I told myself it would be the last time I cried. It had to be. Javier was meeting me here, at least I hoped, and he would fix everything. He would get me out of this mess.