“Well, first of all he didn’t answer, it was some other guy. From the way he questioned me, it was like he didn’t know I existed.”
This piqued Derrin’s interest. “Is that so? Did you get his name?”
“He wouldn’t say.”
“But he got yours.”
“Yes.”
“Javier was probably trying to protect you and Marguerite, keep you a secret.”
“Well I kind of went and messed that all up didn’t I?’ I scratched angrily at the skin around the top of my cast. I wanted this fucking thing off. “Anyway Javier told me heard about the shootings on the news but obviously he didn’t know I was involved. In fact … it really sounded like he didn’t believe me.”
Derrin only grunted.
“I told him where I was. He wanted me to go meet him somewhere else but I told him no.”
“Good girl.”
I managed a smile. “It didn’t feel right otherwise.”
“Did you mention me?”
I paused. “Yes.”
He cocked his head. “And what did you tell him?”
“I told him I had a Canadian boyfriend named Derrin.”
“Oh? And what did he say to that?”
“Well he was surprised because I never really have boyfriends. And he thinks you have a stupid name.”
“Charming brother you have there.”
I shrugged.
“So is that what I am?” he asked, leaning closer to me. His fingers traced the skin on my shoulder and a subtle shiver shot down my spine.
“If you want to be,” I said quietly, suddenly feeling so shy. So not like myself. What was I, twelve?
He reached out and cupped my face in his hand, his sky blue eyes searching mine, trying to overturn every buried stone. “I want to be. If you’ll have me around.”
“I’ve kept you around so far,” I joked.
His brow furrowed. “I want to be important to you.”
I know he was being serious – when wasn’t Derrin being serious? But my default reaction was always to make a joke when things got too heavy. I had to rein that in, swallow it down, even though I was too afraid to take what he was saying as truth. At some point, Derrin and I would part ways. It would have to be that way. He was just a tourist here in a foreign land. He couldn’t live in Mexico forever. Why would he even want to?
“Alana,” he said. “No matter what happens with your brother, you have someone here that has your back, all the way, to the end.”
“To what end?”
“To the end of it all,” he said, his voice grave. “And I’m not going to let you go so easily. I want you to figure it out with Javier, see what he knows, see if he can help. But if he has no ideas, if he doesn’t seem to care, you’ll be better off with me.”
“How can you say that?”
“Trust me.”
“I want to,” I automatically said. I corrected myself. “I do trust you.”
“You don’t. And I don’t blame you. But if you stay with me, I can make a better life for you. It doesn’t have to be with me but … I can get you out of here.”
“How?”
“Come up north with me.”
I curled my lip. “Too cold.”
“The west coast isn’t cold at all, you’d love it,” he said. “But if not, then Europe. Some small island in the Caribbean. South America.”
It was sounding tempting. But then the whole thing was absurd. “I barely know you.”
“I know. And I barely know you. But this is what is going to keep you alive.” Now he was cupping my face with both hands. “Alana, unless the men who are after you are killed, unless the person who wants you dead is found out and then taken out, this isn’t going to stop. There is a lot of money on your head.”
I frowned, feeling icky at that assumption. “How do you know that?”
“I just do.”
“Like you know how to kill a person and ride a motorbike at the same time?”
“Yes.” His grip tightened, his gaze more intense. I felt like he was going to devour me. “Your life as you’ve known it is now over.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You said that I could talk to Luz –”
“I did say that. And I meant it. But I also said not now. They’ll be in danger too if they talk to you, so leave them out of it. Send them a postcard from a random place. Alana, you’re going to need to say goodbye to the person you were. Alana Bernal ended when she was hit by a car.”
I felt like a force field went up around me. I wasn’t feeling any of this. It wasn’t sinking in. No. This wasn’t the way. My brother would fix everything.