“She won’t want to talk to you, she’s upset.”
“Your keys, Rebecca,” I snapped, then checked myself. “Please...”
She eyeballed me with a pouty lip, then finally relented, handing them over. “Don’t fuck this up, Masque, don’t you fucking dare!”
I wasn’t planning on it.
***
I kept my feet light on the stairs, slipping the key quietly in the lock. I made my entrance, eyes scanning the place for signs of life. There was only the dull orange glow from a table lamp, spilling out from the corner of the living room. Lydia’s voice cut out, shrill, she sounded so fucking pained.
“You didn’t have to come home,” she wheezed. “I should have known I was just a stupid mistake. He doesn’t give a shit about me, and why would he? That woman’s like a goddess.”
“Goddess of adultery, maybe,” I said, turning the corner.
She jumped a mile, skitting back into the arm of the sofa, eyes wide. “I really, really need to stop doing that.”
I took a seat. “Doing what?”
“Assuming people are Rebecca. Although you can see why I’d assume such a thing, considering we are the only two people who actually live here.”
I smiled. “Intruders are a regular occurrence here, are they?”
“Only you and Jaz. She was here the other day.”
My brain whirred. “That would make some sense.”
“Like I said, I thought she was Rebecca, I said some things I probably shouldn’t have.”
“We can all say things we probably shouldn’t have, Lydia.”
Her eyes were so sad. “You don’t ever need to apologise for telling the truth, James. What are you even doing here?”
I soaked her in; the pale beauty of her legs held tight to her chest, the soft slope of her shoulders, the dark mess of her tangled hair, thrown up into a pony. She was wearing just a tiny pair of panties and a faded old pink camisole. She’d never looked more exposed, not even with her pussy spread wide for all the world to see. Her eyes were red, puffy. Maybe I’d broken her after all, just not as I intended. I reached out a hand, brushing her ankle with my fingertips. “Is this your regular home dress, Lydia? Rebecca must be rubbing off on you.”
“This is considerably more than Rebecca wears,” she said. “My nudity habit hasn’t scaled her heights quite yet.” She bit her lip, nervous. “Really, James, why are you here?”
“You didn’t hear me finish.” I fixed her in the calmest stare I could muster.
“I heard enough,” she sighed. “It’s my own fault, anyway, I shouldn’t even care.”
“If you’d have stayed around even a minute longer you’d have heard the rest. You were a mistake, Lydia, but I’m not sorry I made it. I told Rachel as much, I told Rachel a lot of things.”
The tremble of her lip stirred the beast, and I wanted her all over again. “You don’t need to say that.”
“I know I don’t.”
“Our thing is Explicit-only, casual. I know that, I was happy with that.”
I pulled her feet across my lap, resting my hand on her knee. “Things change. They spiral, that was always the danger.”
“I’ll get over it,” she said. “I can cope with casual, I know I can. I wanted casual.”
I raised my eyebrows. “I don’t want you to cope with casual.”
Tears pricked at her eyes, but again she forced them away. “So, this is it? It’s over?”
I smiled. “That would be the wisest move, I’m sure, but I don’t want that. I never did, not from the moment I barged into your hotel room.”
“Neither do I.” She reached out her hand and I folded her dainty little fingers in mine. “So, what now?”
“I have no idea,” I admitted. “This isn’t a position I’m used to occupying. I can’t say it’s entirely comfortable.”
“We could carry on…” she said. “As we were.”
I shunted my way toward her, craving her body more than ever. “I don’t know if I can be the man who can offer you more, Lydia, I’m not sure that’s me.”
“So don’t.” Her smile was soft. “Just be the man you are.” She leant her head into my shoulder. “I don’t want to lose what we have, James. You make me feel so alive.”
My stomach churned in rapport with her words. “I can’t offer you a relationship, Cat, it would never work. I’m too private, too closed, too set in my ways. And I can’t lose my career, I’ve worked too fucking hard. Order is my only constant, my routine is my salvation, my road through any storm.”