Dirty Bad Wrong(63)
“So, you told him?”
Her eyes were heavy, boring into mine. “Yes, I told him, and he was grateful for it. Jaz and Rachel not so much.”
“Jaz didn’t agree with you, then?”
“Jaz and Rachel were thick as thieves. No, Jaz didn’t agree with me, said I should mind my own and let Rachel get on with it. It was the beginning of the end for us, that whole affair, but James was my friend and he would have done the same for me. I didn’t want her making more of a fool out of him than she had already.”
“Must have been tough.”
“Wasn’t much fun, no.” She drank her wine. “Look, this whole thing was going on for about six months before I blabbed my mouth off. He knew about her flings, she promised she’d stop, that she’d get some therapy, sort her shit out. Only she didn’t, she didn’t stop at all.”
“Why do you think she was fucking around that much?”
“Rachel lives for attention. She’s lived her entire life for attention. James’ attention wasn’t enough, she wanted adoration from the whole male populous beside him. They came to Explicit to spice things up, figured they could open their horizons as a couple, you know? Only Rachel opened her horizons a damn sight more than he did, and opened her legs with them. She was fucking more outside of Explicit than she was in it, and James knew, he’s no idiot. He gave her a lot of warnings, a lot of chances. Hell, she’d fuck them in front of him, Christ knows why she was so bothered about fucking them behind his back as well.”
“And you telling him, that was the final straw?”
She sighed. “Yeah, that was the end.”
“Hard being a good friend, isn’t it?”
“The hardest. I’d tell him over again in a heartbeat. He’s a good guy, Lyds. A fucked-up guy, a brutal guy, a strange, private weirdo kind of guy, but he’s straight. He wouldn’t fuck people around. Fuck them up, for sure,” she laughed. “But not around.”
“Jaz said Rachel wants him back, said she still loves him and he still loves her.”
“Jaz is full of shit,” Rebecca said. “Rachel may still want James, but he’s well done with that crap. Hell would freeze over before they got back together, regardless of how he felt about her.”
My heart was dancing in my ribcage. “Do you think he does still love her?”
She sighed. “I dunno. He did. I’m not sure about now.” She met my eyes. “I’m sorry, Lyds, I’m not sure how he really feels about her, that’s the honest truth.”
“You’ve got nothing to apologise to me for,” I said. “I’m not his girlfriend.” The words churned in my gut.
“Maybe,” she smiled. “Maybe not.”
“It’s casual,” I protested. “Really, as casual as it gets.”
“Oh yeah, so what’s with the sex at work shit? That really isn’t his style by the way, so either he’s lost his mind, or he’s got a major crush going down on our cute little Lyddie Marsh.”
I felt my face burn up. “Lost his mind, I think.”
“I don’t,” she beamed. “And I know you’re feeling it too. Don’t think I haven’t noticed it, the spring in your step. The way you look at him when you’re at Explicit.”
“Now you’ve lost your mind,” I laughed. “We fuck at a sex club while he’s wearing a mask, that’s it.”
“Yeah yeah, and I don’t like hot, wet snatch.” She poked her tongue out. “Did he hit you, over his desk?”
“Did he ever. Metal ruler.”
“Fucking ow. Right on the clit, I’ll bet.”
I grinned. “You know him so well.”
“Yes, I do.” She raised her empty glass and made after the rest of the bottle. “And I’m telling you, Lydia Marsh, that James Clarke has many habits, but screwing at the office isn’t one of them. It can only mean one thing,” she said, topping up my glass.
“And what’s that?” I smiled.
“The man’s in love, Lydia. He’s in love with you.”
I found myself wishing I believed her.
***
Chapter Thirteen
Lydia
“So, tonight’s the night?” Rebecca dropped her cigarette and stubbed it out with the toe of her stiletto. “Will there be tears?”
I looked towards the wooden doors across the street. “I don’t know how to cry, Bex.”
She wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “It’s easy, baby, let it all go and those tears will flow.”
“So I keep hearing.” I watched Cara totter on ahead, waving at some other regulars just arriving.