Dirty Bad Secrets(106)
“You bailed,” he said. “I took control. End of.”
“I hadn’t bailed! Look at the fucking date, Andy, I hadn’t even been gone three fucking months, you didn’t even fucking know I wasn’t coming home!”
“I knew you weren’t coming home,” he snarled, and he was angry, so angry. What fucking gall.
“You couldn’t have known that,” I laughed, an angry laugh. “I didn’t even know that.”
“You knew,” he seethed. “That was perfectly fucking obvious.”
“How can it have been?” I rolled my eyes. “You’re full of shit, Andy. I left because I couldn’t handle how I felt about you, alright? That’s why I fucking left, and you didn’t even give me chance to come home before you cut me out! You cut me fucking out, Andy!”
“You’re full of shit, Faye,” he snapped. “We’ve both got fucking secrets, pretty bird, don’t pretend we don’t. And don’t fucking rewrite history, either. You weren’t coming home. You know it, and I know it.”
I shook my head, dumbstruck. “How can you say that? You don’t have any idea what I was and wasn’t planning on doing! You just did what you wanted, as fucking always!”
He grabbed my shoulders, and it stopped me in my tracks, stopped my tears dead.
“I can say that quite fucking confidently, Faye, believe me, because I was right fucking there.”
***
Andy
“What do you mean you were right there?” she demanded. “How can you possibly have been there?”
I couldn’t hold back the laugh, it was cold, chilled to ice. “You aren’t the fucking only one who gave a shit, Faye. You may have been the one who got all pissing flighty and dramatic about things, but that doesn’t mean you were the only one who cared.” I sighed. “I came after you. I came to Italy to talk some sense into that flighty fucking skull of yours and bring you fucking home.” I scowled at her. “I didn’t know you had feelings, and you didn’t fucking show them nearly as clearly as you seem to think you did. But I had feelings. I wanted you back, Faye, I wanted you to come back to our club, to me.”
Her face was a picture, a pretty picture at that. “How did you even know where I was? You didn’t contact me, I didn’t even see you!”
“He’s not fucking hard to find,” I said. “Christ, Faye, everyone around those parts knows where his seedy fucking sex camp is. I drove halfway up the hill, to the wooden gates, I presume you know the ones.”
She nodded, eyes wide.
“I didn’t want to press the bastard buzzer and do a load of explaining, so I ditched the car and climbed over the fence. It was a walk, but I managed it. I even thought it would be fucking romantic, charging in there like some sappy fucking idiot and demanding you come home.”
Her eyes were welling up. “So many secrets,” she whispered. “I had no idea.”
“Everyone’s got secrets, Faye, our dirty laundry’s just spilling over the fucking basket, that’s all.”
“You didn’t find me,” she said. “I didn’t see you.”
“I didn’t need to, you were right there, on the fucking terrace. With him.”
I saw the realisation flash in her eyes. “With him?”
“Yes, Faye, with him. Prosecco and twilight and your sweet little snatch around his perverted fucking cock.”
“You could have said something.”
“Could I fuck. How fucking awkward? Hi Faye, sorry to butt in on your little fucking sex fest, but I could really do with you back at the club. Oh, and by the way, I love you.” I laughed to myself. “It wasn’t exactly the scenario I’d played out in my mind.”
“You loved me?”
“Piss off, Faye, of course I fucking loved you, I loved you way before we got this pissing club. Nobody else would have convinced me to take this much of a gamble with my fucking money. Not a fucking chance in hell.”
“I didn’t know.”
“Clearly.” I sighed. “So, that’s my second dirty fucking secret. You ran, I ran after you. Then I came back with my sorry tail between my legs, and I took your name off the directorship because I was so mightily pissed. That doesn’t make it right, I know, but Jesus, Faye, have a bit of fucking tolerance, will you?”
A tear ran down her face but she brushed it away. “It’s not about that,” she said. “It’s that you didn’t tell me.”
“And when was I supposed to tell you exactly?”
“Before I was in your fucking bed might have been a good time.”