I grabbed his hand. 'No, we'll read it together. No more secrets.'
He smiled. 'No more secrets,' he echoed. Hauling me out of the chair, he sat down and pulled me onto his lap.
I stroked the letter and suddenly felt like crying all over again.'
'It's OK, my darling,' Ivan said. Circling my wrist, he brought my hand to his lips and kissed my fingertips.
With great care I opened the envelope and was shocked by the faint fragrance of Robert's aftershave. I brought it to my nose and inhaled it before it was gone forever.
'I wanted to call him Daddy,' I told Ivan.
'I know. I know you loved him.'
I nodded. 'Yes, I did.'
My throat closed over and my eyes were blurred with tears. I pulled the letter out. It was only a short letter. Just like Robert. Writing me a letter from the grave and keeping it short.
I cleared my throat and read it aloud. 'My darling daughter, if you are reading this letter then everything has worked exactly as I planned. You have tipped your hat to the right angle and allowed the right man to seduce you. He's wonderful, my stepson, is he not? Have the wonderful life you so richly deserve, my sweet darling. I'll see you before you see me. Kiss the baby turtles for me. Love, Daddy. xx'
Tears were pouring down my face.
How much I had underestimated Robert. After his death I allowed myself to become convinced that his illness had made him careless. I believed he had miscalculated and misjudged, but he had not. He had laid his plans very carefully. He saw things far into the future that neither Ivan, or I had. I folded the letter and put it back into the envelope. Then I lifted my head and looked into Ivan's eyes.
'I can sell this house and you can have the money from the sale.'
To my shock his eyes filled with tears. 'Oh my darling,' he breathed. 'I don't need your money.'
'I know about the bank. I went into your drawer. I saw the letters,' I confessed.
He smiled. 'Oh, Tawny. I left them there for you to find. I knew you'd have to go looking. Those letters are not real.'
I frowned and shook my head. 'But they had letterheads and everything on them.'
'Yeah, you can have those made for nothing these days. I think Theresa still has about ten floating about somewhere.'
'Why did you do that?'
'Because without motive you would never have believed I could be involved. If you had not found those letters would you have gone with James?'
'Maybe not,' I admitted truthfully.
'When they made their move I needed you to be off balance and not the sharp little cookie you usually are. I needed you to follow them blindly because you were so confused. Even if you had called me to tell me where you were going it would have all fallen apart. I needed you to distrust me.'
So much thought had gone into his plan. My heart felt as if it was bursting with love for this man. I never truly understood him. There were still tears in my eyes, and he wiped them away tenderly.
'Oh Ivan. I really believed you were with them.'
'Shhh … I know. I wanted you to. It's OK. All is fair in love and war. I knew you heard my phone call. Hell, I threw a phone book against the wall to make a noise loud enough to wake you up.'
'But I suffered so. You don't have a clue how much it hurt me.'
'Not as much as me. It had to be done. There was no other way. It was agonizing to see your eyes turn wary. To see you look at me with such hurt that morning. I couldn't even stay in the apartment. I went straight to the office and I was like … what's that thing you say I am in the mornings?'
'Madder than a wet hen?'
'Not that one.'
'When you fall out of the angry tree and hit every branch on the way down?'
'That's the one,' he said with a gorgeous smile. 'I could never betray you. I love you.'
'What?'
'I could never betray you.'
'The other part,' I prompted with a happy grin.
'I love you.'
'You really do?'
'Can't you tell? Fucking hell, for a smart cookie you sure are dumb. Don't you know when a man acts cold and disinterested in the presence of a drop dead beauty he is crazy about her?'
'This is so hard to take in. I really thought you didn't want me.'
There is only one word that comes into my head when I think of you. Mine. You were the one thing I couldn't walk away from, the one constant thing I desired more than anything else. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get you out of my mind or my fantasies.' He winked. 'You don't know the things you've done in my fantasies. Besides I knew you secretly couldn't keep your hands off me.'
'You think the sun rises just to hear you crow, don't you?' I retorted.
'Doesn't it?'
I grinned. 'Well, I suppose I will keep you then. You'll be useful for picking up heavy stuff.'
'And licking your pussy.'
I licked my lips. 'By the way, I've got something to tell you.'
'That you're my stepsister?'
My mouth fell open. 'You knew? How?'
'It was the last piece of the puzzle for me. The moment I found out you were a virgin I knew. No matter how beautiful you are, Robert was not going to leave his entire inheritance to a random stranger he was not even fucking. The only thing I couldn't figure out was how it all came about.'
'All my life my mama never told me who my father was. I figure it was because he wounded her badly. I think he was the only one she ever loved and he left her after a month.'
I bent my head and looked at my fingers. They were twisted in my lap. It still hurt to think of that day my mama died.
'Then on the day it was clear to her that she was passing she whispered Robert's name in my ear and told me go and find him. She said he was a mean man, but I would melt his heart. I had no money at all. I went to the bank manger to beg for a little loan and he told me … I could have the money if I got on my fine knees and sucked him off.'
Ivan's eyes flared and his large hands covered mine protectively.
'I didn't know what to do. I was in such a state. I sold a little chain my mama had given me to someone who gave me seventy dollars for it. Then I went into the café and did an Internet search for Robert Maxwell, the owner of Jetcorp. I made a long distance phone call to his office and told his secretary that my name was Tawny St. Clair who was the daughter of Tandy Sinclair and that I had something very, very important to tell him.'
Remembering that time still made a lump form in my throat and I swallowed it away.
'I said I would be calling again tomorrow at the same time and could she kindly tell him that. The next twenty-four hours were longest in my life. The next day I called and God answered my prayers. My palms were so sweaty the phone kept slipping out of my hand, but he only asked me two questions. Was mama still alive? When I said no, I heard him sigh, and there was so much regret in the sound I knew that somehow he was no longer the mean man that mama knew. Then he asked me when I could come. Straightaway, I said. So he sent me a ticket and I came to England.'
I smiled with the memory.
'I can still remember the first day I arrived at his doorstep. He looked at me with a smile in his eyes and said, "Well, I never would have thought it possible, but you're even more beautiful than your mama." I told him I thought he talked funny and he said, "That, young lady, is because you can't hear yourself." I laughed and so did he. And that was the beginning.'
'Why at that stage did he make you pretend that you were a nail technician he had hired?'
'I think he was afraid of what his children would do to me even then.'
'My poor darling. I've been so unfair to you.'
'No you haven't. I've had the best time in my life with you.'
'God, I love you so much,' he breathed.
'So you really, really do love me,' I asked, almost unable to believe that someone as grand as him could love me.
'I really, really do.'
'When did you find out though?' I wheedled.
'Oh, well. Wanting to kill Ralph that night might have been a good clue, but really, when you banged my head with the cake tin.'
'What?'
'Really. It knocked some sense into me,' he teased.
'Now you're just teasing me.'
'Tawny honey, I think I've been in love with you for years. I guess even Robert knew too. I remember he used to deliberately talk about you even when I pretended outright disinterest. I used to get so jealous. Tawny this. Tawny that. Fucking hell. I used leave his house in a terrible temper. I couldn't believe you were his and not mine. I used to out and get drunk, fuck a random blonde, and pretend it was you.'
I licked my lips and looked up from under my eyelashes. 'Don't you want those blondes anymore?'
'Did you not hear what I just said? They were substitutes for you. You know, like a sugar substitute. It doesn't taste as good and it leaves a bad aftertaste, but it helps soothe the craving. I never wanted any of them. I only ever wanted you.' He grinned. 'You were the mothership. The everything.' He nodded. 'Yup, my stepmother who turned out to be my stepsister.'
'Oh you kinky man you.'
'Ah, talking about that. We have an appointment at Blue Butterfly tomorrow.'
'We do?' I beamed up at him.
'Yes, we do.'
'Didn't you have enough fruit the last time?'
'Ah, fruit platters are not the only things they do.'