“It’s older.”
“When do you turn nineteen?” I shifted on the couch, trying to get rid of even the small space between us.
“April.”
“What day?”
“The twenty-first.”
“Two days before my birthday. That means we’re less than five years apart.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Less than five years? We’re talking two days less.”
“It still counts.”
She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against my arm.
“You can let yourself sleep.”
“I can’t.”
“You’re worried about him, but there is absolutely nothing you can do.”
“And that’s somehow supposed to make me feel better?”
“No, but it’s the truth. Do you think he wants you staying up all night?”
“Is he sleeping?” she asked quietly.
“Probably not.”
“Then why should I?”
“Because he doesn’t need as much sleep as you do anymore. Because you’re going to get sick if you don’t.”
“I can’t.”
“Just close your eyes.” I ran my hand up and down her arm. She didn’t move away. That was something.
“I can stay up and wait.”
I sighed. It was time to level with her. “It’s going to be days.”
“Days?” She sat up. “How can it take days?”
“He’s been completely transformed. He was human and now he’s a Dire. It takes a long time for your body to fully adjust to that.”
“Have you always been one?”
“Yes, all of us were born Dire.”
“Is Gage the first one you’ve changed then?”
“Yes.”
“How did you even know it would work?” She sat up. The way our conversation was going, she was never going to sleep.
“I didn’t. I only did it because there was no other choice.”
“But now that you did do it, he’s going to be ok. Right?”
“We can’t know for sure.” Lying to her about his chances wasn’t going to help my cause. Sure it would satisfy her in the short term, but it would only make things worse later. That didn’t mean I was going to tell her everything though.
Her face fell, and it about broke me.
“But his chances are good. He’s made it this far. It’s more that he needs to be strong enough to control both of his forms.”
“What happens otherwise?”
“I think you know the answer.”
“What? You’ll kill him? Is that what you’re saying?”
“That wouldn’t be my first choice, but this is already his second chance at life.”
“And whose fault is that, huh?” She stood up. “Why is he in this mess to begin with?”
“We were only trying to protect the community.”
“That’s why you ran us off the road, but why keep us here?”
“This isn’t the time for that discussion.”
“Then when is the time? What are you waiting for?”
“I’m waiting for you to rest. You’ll need a clear head to handle it.”
“What does it matter if I can handle it, huh? I mean I have no choices about what I do anymore anyway.”
“You had plenty of choices. I know you blame me for what happened to your friend, but what about your decision to run away like that? Even after I warned you.” I didn’t like putting blame on her, but she needed to understand that none of us were completely innocent. Besides, like it or not, things weren’t going to change. With me or not, she wasn’t going to be able to return to her old life, and Gage definitely couldn’t.
“So it’s all my fault? Is that what you’re trying to say?”
I stood up and took both of her hands in mine. She tried to pull them away, but I wouldn’t let her. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying? Tell me, because clearly I’m not getting it on my own.”
“I’m saying that we’re all part of this. And really, what does it matter now? What’s done is done.”
She sighed. “I changed my mind.”
“About?” I hoped she wasn’t going to try to get out of our agreement. I took her word seriously.
“Sitting down here. I’m going up to bed.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“I figured you’d say that.”
“Do you think I’m doing this to hurt you?” I looked deep into her eyes.
“What am I supposed to think? You know who I want to be with.”
Her words stung, but I couldn’t let that get me down. “You’re going to understand you belong with me. All of this happened for a reason.”