Dire(58)
I gave Mary Anne time to peruse the menu while I studied her. This was the first time she’d shown interest in a particular meal, and I hoped it met her standards. I wasn’t exactly the biggest sushi connoisseur.
“Do you do this much?” She penciled in a few things on the separate list of sushi rolls.
“Do what exactly?”
“Take women out for sushi.” She set aside the pencil and paper.
I smiled. “So you are interested in my past dating history?”
“No, I’m just curious if this is what Dires usually do or if you are trying to cater to what you think I want.”
“Would it matter to you if I was?”
“It would.”
“Why?” I took sip of water while I waited for her answer.
“Because if you were only doing this for me, it would be further evidence that you’re trying to shove a square peg into a round hole.”
“Meaning?”
I had to wait for an answer while the waiter came over to take our order. What felt like forever later he walked away. And not without checking Mary Anne out first. I hoped my glare would keep him in line afterword.
When she still didn’t say anything once he left, I asked again. “What are you getting at with that analogy?”
“Meaning you want me to be the girl from your dreams. You want there to be this undeniable reason to take me as your mate when it’s only a coincidence. You like red heads.”
“I also like dark hair.” I reached across the table and took a piece of her hair in my hand. “You’re wrong. That’s not what I’m doing.”
“But what if it is? Have you thought about that possibility? Because it means you might actually be moving further away from realizing your goal rather than closer.”
“Why are you so dead set against believing in us? In believing in yourself?”
“I do believe in myself. I just don’t believe I was ever supposed to have anything to do with your world. I promised to stay with you, but is that a promise worth enforcing when it could take you away from what you want most? What if it interferes with ending the hunt?”
The waiter brought over our food. My glare seemed to have worked because he hurried away quickly.
“How is it?” I refused to let her doubt ruin the evening. It was normal for her to be questioning her role, but eventually she’d have to accept it.
“Fine, thanks.” She ate one piece.
“Are you really that unhappy?”
“Does that matter?” She set aside her chopsticks.
“Of course it matters. Your happiness always matters.”
“Then, yes.” She looked down.
“With me?”
“I miss my parents. I miss my life.”
“I already told you I’d find a way for you to see them again.”
“And I appreciate that, but it doesn’t mean I can’t miss them. It doesn’t mean I don’t still want to go to college and have a normal life. It doesn’t mean I still don’t want Gage.” A look of shock crossed her face, like she couldn’t believe she’d spoken those words.
I couldn’t really believe it either. I didn’t touch my steak. I had no appetite.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” she asked.
“I’m not hungry.”
“Neither am I. I’m only eating to make you happy.”
“Then stop!” I hadn’t realized I’d raised my voice until everyone in the restaurant turned to look at us.
Mary Anne looked terrified. In all the time we’d spent together she’d never looked scared of me.
“I’m sorry.”
“Can we just go?” She pushed her plate away.
“Home?”
“Anywhere.” She sighed.
I tossed some bills on the table. “Sure.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Gage
Watching her all dressed up with Hunter made my stomach hurt. What was he doing parading her around like that? She wasn’t an object to show off and weren’t we supposed to be keeping a low profile? What part of going out to eat in the city meshed with that?
And the hair? She didn't look like the same Mary Anne any more. She was still beautiful of course and that dress fit her far too well, but she looked different. It’s like she was dressing up with someone else’s clothes and hair. She didn’t look comfortable with the change. I didn’t blame her. At least her change was temporary. Her hair color would come back. I wished I could say the same thing about turning into a Dire. Although part of me didn’t. I knew I could never go back to being just a human. The speed, the strength, and the connection to nature were things I didn’t want to let go of. Now the pack and watching Hunter paw at Mary Anne? Those were things I wouldn’t miss.