Jake:
I have an army of them, remember? One of them would have bitched.
Emma:
And you would have sent her packing even faster.
Jill:
And kept the wallet chain.
Jill and Emma high five. Jake lifts his arms up so she can see his pockets, as if to prove he doesn’t have a wallet chain.
Emma:
That proves nothing. Then again, maybe we are off base. Do you even have a wallet?
Jill:
Good point. He has no money.
Emma:
And no car, so maybe no driver’s license.
Jill:
How would the coroner ever ID his body? Never mind, just ask –
Jill and Emma (laughing):
– half the girls on two continents.
Jill:
So Jake, how was the 104 bus out of 69th street tonight? Any good targets?
Jake:
I’ve never targeted anybody.
Emma:
Wrong. You know, he might have a driver’s license. One with a Massachusetts address.
Jake shoots Emma an evil look.
Jill:
What was that about?
Jake (determined):
Nothing.
Emma (more determined):
Everything. Tell me Jill, how well do you know lover boy here?
Jill:
Well as anybody can, I think.
Emma:
Did he tell you why he went on his twelve-month rampage in Europe?
Jill:
He was recording and playing gigs.
Emma:
Incorrect. That’s what he ended up doing. But what got him there was something that happened north of here.
Jill:
What?
Emma:
I’m not sure if it’s something he did, or something that happened to him. Maybe both. I’ve taken to referring to it as “The Andover Incident.”
Jake (controlling himself):
Leave it alone.
Jill (to Emma):
He just turned purple, did you see that?! (To Jake): You just turned purple.
Jake:
I’d prefer to just stipulate. Whatever that file of yours says happened, happened.
Emma:
Sorry, I have no quarter to give you. This is why I showed up tonight - curiosity. This almost makes you interesting. And mysterious.
Jake looks at her silently.
Emma (daring him):
You can always run.
Jake:
I don’t run.
Emma:
Don’t you? Andover to Amsterdam, the one city where you could go on a relatively safe, legal, self-destructive spiral? London to Bryn Mawr?
Jill:
How exactly does one go from London to Bryn Mawr?
Emma:
B.A. out of Heathrow 4.
Jill (to Emma):
That’s not what I meant.
Jake:
Europe was done. I needed some money. I made a call and ended up back at my old school.
Emma:
You see, Jill, last night, when Jake called me, he demonstrated some tangible aversion to Andover, Massachusetts.
Jill:
What’s wrong with Andover?
Jake:
Everything.
Emma:
Nothing. My niece goes to Andover. I visited her once when I was attending a convention in Cambridge. It’s a nice town, maybe except during winter. Short jaunt across the Merrimac River into New Hampshire, easy ride down 133 onto Cape Ann. So I figured something must have happened to him there.
Jill:
Something that would show up on radar.
Emma:
Exactly. So I had a colleague look into it. Low and behold, it turns out that Jake here used to belong to a secret society.
Jake:
How the fuck does that show up on anything?
Emma:
Police report.
Jake:
Shit.
Jill:
A secret society? Oh, that is so lame. Was he a role-play vampire?
Emma:
No, we have to give him some credit. Judging by his looks (aside to Jill) – and how solid his chest is, Jesus – (to both) he’s probably got too much testosterone to have ever put on mascara.
Jill:
So what’s in this police report?
Emma:
Only his name, as a person of interest. It seems a twenty-four year old male named –
Jake:
– Jerry –
Emma:
– was assaulted near Boston Logan and had his car stolen. Jerry claimed not to know his assailant. But he admitted to having lots of enemies.
Jill:
Why?
Emma:
He and a friend named –
Jake:
– Adam –
Emma:
See how easy this is, Jake? Jerry and this Adam were psych majors who were running an unscientific behavioral experiment on the streets of Cambridge.
Jill:
Doing what?
Emma:
Matchmaking.
Jill:
You are making this up. (Looks at Jake) Oh, God, she isn’t.
Emma:
They called their little group “Hell.” I don’t know why.
Jake says nothing.
Emma:
Anyway, Jerry and Adam would identify happy couples, then send someone in to break up their relationships.
Emma and Jill look at Jake accusingly.
Jake:
Not me. That’s a lie.
Emma:
The police report doesn’t say who.
Jill:
You are so not attractive right now.
Jake: