Jill (holding up the bill):
You don’t have five dollars. Besides, assuming you are right, which you aren’t, she had a whole night to sleep on this mistake.
Jake:
I’m way too good looking to be stood up. That’s more of the type of thing that would happen to you.
Jill:
Bastard.
Jill punches Jake in the arm then walks off to deliver drinks.
Emma enters the room wearing a business suit, fancy shoes, and carrying a high-end designer handbag. She looks like a million dollars and knows it given the way she carries herself. Bill notices her and reflexively starts pouring a glass of wine. She pulls up at any empty stool next to Jake.
Jill (returning):
Hi Emma.
Emma:
Hello Jill.
Jake (looking and back and forth between Emma and Jill):
Emma?
Jill (introducing Jake):
This is - oh, God. You’re his Emma.
Emma:
Whose? (Looks at Jake) – black T-shirt, Jeans. Shit.
Jake:
You two know each other?
Jill (smacks Jake in forehead):
Duh! Remember, like, three weeks ago? Saturday night.
Jake (remembering):
The knockout with the powerbroker.
Bill hands Emma a glass of red wine.
Bill:
Your Malbec, m’lady.
Emma:
Thanks, Bill.
Jill:
Jake here made inquiries about you that night.
Emma:
Did he really? What did he ask?
Jill:
He didn’t get any farther than (emphasizing) “Who is that?”
Emma:
So what did you tell him?
Jill:
Nothing. You were in the process of leaving. You got into a –
Jake:
– white Lexus LFA –
Jill:
– and drove off. He said never mind, then just sort of sulked for a bit. Then he left with some college girl he picked up.
Emma:
Just as well, really.
Jill:
Oh, I would have told him what you asked me ten minutes earlier that night.
Emma:
No –
Jake (cutting Emma off):
Quid pro quo. (To Jill) Let’s have it.
Jill (looking at Emma, evilly):
Emma asked me who “C & S” was, referring to you.
Jake (to Emma):
C & S?
Emma (caught):
Girl code for cute and stupid.
Jake (smiling):
Yeah, well.
Jill:
And here you both are, in the flesh.
Emma:
OK, I’ll admit I wasn’t expecting this, anyway.
Jill:
It’s kinda cool, don’t you think? I mean, what are the odds?
Emma:
It’s kind of skeevy, if you ask me.
Jake:
Relax, the ice is already melted. This is gonna be the easiest first date ever.
Emma:
This is not a date, little boy.
Jill:
It’s more like Fate.
Emma (looking at Jill):
It’s more like shut up, Jill.
Jake:
Let’s see. First I was compelled to call a number written years ago on the bottom of a piano, second, you answered the phone at a house you no longer live at, and third, when we meet, it turns out we’re already on each other’s radar screens.
Jill (provoking Emma):
Destiny.
Emma:
Don’t get your hopes up. Whatever interest I had was alcohol induced and purely physical in nature. You do have that body, after all.
Jill (looking behind her at the shelves):
Oh, look. Alcohol.
Emma:
Bill, can you please fire her?
Bill:
No, m’lady. Sorry m’lady.
Jake:
As for you, you are drop dead gorgeous.
Emma:
I don’t agree. But thank you, anyway.
Jake:
You’re welcome. And for the record, I would win that argument.
Jill:
Don’t bet on it. You don’t know who you are messing with.
Jake:
I win bets. She showed up didn’t she?
Emma:
Only because I can walk here. Shit, why did I just admit that?
Jill hands Jake the five-dollar bill.
Emma:
What just happened?
Jake:
Jill lost five dollars.
Jill:
Now Jake can pay part of his tab. Five dollars worth, specifically.
Emma:
Well, he is out of a job…. (Devilishly) Good thing his lease is up next Monday.
Jake (confused):
OK, my turn. What just happened?
Emma:
You mean how did I know that? Or that you were born in Covington, Kentucky on July 9, private-schooled, failed out of Cornell, and the only line of credit you ever had was with a jeweler in Manhattan?
Emma pulls a manila folder out of her bag.
Jill (smiling evilly):
Now you’ll see.
Emma:
I compiled a dossier on you.
Jake:
So you’re a secret agent? Or just a P.I.?
Emma:
A trial attorney. With the necessary connections.
Jill:
A vicious bitch trial attorney.
Jake:
I don’t know whether I should be offended or flattered. I’ll go with flattered.
Emma:
Offended is safer. But in my own defense, I don’t normally pull backgrounds on dates.