Emma:
Andover.
Jake:
I was about ten minutes outside town, off the River Road. Things were quiet for a while. They told me to just sit tight and watch Dangerous Liaisons. They worshipped that movie.
Emma:
So do I. And yet we’re somehow watching Kill Factor 9.
Sounds of explosions and machine gun fire come from the TV.
Jake:
I got a call from Jerry on a Tuesday morning. He gave me my first, and last, assignment.
Emma:
Diana.
Jake:
Diana. She was six months into a relationship with a college professor who lived in Salem, New Hampshire. Peter.
Emma:
What was the problem?
Jake:
They were flailing. When things were good, they were great. But they ran lukewarm a lot of the time. A lot of small fights. But never the big one that resolves the issue one way or the other.
Emma:
Were they engaged?
Jake:
No. But engagements were considered fair game. Marriages were borderline. Anything with kids involved was a hard stop. Not even Jerry and Adam were sleazy enough to risk that kind of collateral damage.
Emma:
You lied to me in the pub. You broke this up yourself. But you fell in love with her in the process. Who were you supposed to give her to?
Jake:
No one. Jerry and Adam alleged they’d identified her perfect partner.
Emma:
Who?
Jake (resolvedly):
Me.
Emma:
This is so our showstopper.
Jake:
No it isn’t. I’m here with you and she is in the past.
Emma:
She’s dead center in the middle of your chest right now, holding the wound open.
Jake:
We broke up and I left the society. For good.
Emma:
Oh, no. You aren’t getting away like that. She loved you back?
Jake:
Yes.
Emma:
So you bought her a ring.
Jake:
Yes.
Emma:
How?
Jake:
I’m not destitute, woman. I was freelancing for an ad agency. Several of the jingles I wrote still terrorize the Greater Boston airwaves.
Emma (smiling at him):
Loser.
Jake:
Fuck you. It got me a line of credit.
Emma:
In Manhattan.
Jake:
Yes. A friend of a friend’s parents’ store. Helped me get something better than I could have otherwise.
Emma:
Weren’t writing those jingles fast enough?
Jake (fabricating):
Apparently not. She couldn’t be married to a songwriter, so we broke up and I left the society. For good.
Emma:
Liar. What actually happened? You had the ring. You freely admit you love her – and she loved you. So, either she turned you down, or you got cold feet. I don’t know which one is less believable.
Jake:
I happened. I looked in the mirror.
Emma:
And saw a stunning playboy who gets away with murder because of his looks. And why give that up by getting married?
Jake:
I lose either way I answer that.
Emma:
Cute, stupid, and trapped. Again.
Jake:
I looked in the mirror and realized I couldn’t do this to another person. Our relationship existed because I betrayed her from go.
Emma:
But you were her perfect partner.
Jake:
On the surface, maybe. But whatever Diana and Peter could have become was for them to work out, not me. And sure as hell not Jerry and Adam. It’s no one’s business whether two people are meant for each other except for those two people. I was about to completely change the course of a woman’s life based off a lie.
Emma:
You were a better match for her than Peter. They were struggling. You said it yourself.
Jake:
So what? That’s good they were struggling. Any couple that’s worth a damn has been tested. Happily Ever After, if it exists, is the result of working through adversity, proving who you are as a team. Its not some magical ability to just always hit it off. The early fun in a relationship is always the best. But it’s the bullshit that tears at the two of you that proves you are meant for each other.
Emma:
Says the male prostitute with no experience in this area whatsoever.
Jake:
I know enough. Besides, what was I going to do if I had married her? Take my secret to my grave? Or tell her and destroy her? I had to give Diana her life back. I had to get out. I was never the type of person that should have been in Hell in the first place. That’s not who I am.
Emma falls back into Jake’s lap.
Emma:
That’s probably the only reason I am still talking to you right now.
Jake:
From my lap, in your black lace “Fuck Me” nighty, I might add, miss Holier Than Thou.
Emma:
But she was Her.
Jake:
Wrong. That’s you. Diana couldn’t be Her because our relationship was based on fraud. And once I realized that, I brought it to an end.
Emma:
What did you do?