His eyes burned now, as years of pain flooded through him. Years of wanting a family of his own.
“No!” Jennifer looked stricken. “I didn’t want to trap you into anything. I didn’t want you to think I was trapping you into anything!”
“YOU DIDN’T EVEN GIVE ME A CHOICE!” Mark roared as he hit his fist on his leg. Red resentment suffused his face, and two hot coals burned behind his eyes as he struggled to hold back his emotions. “You didn’t even give me a choice in the life of our child. Our child! You didn’t tell me. I’ve missed so much! And you didn’t think to tell me that we’re having a baby?” He put his face on his hands and cried softly. “Damn it, Jennifer, how much do you have to hate a person to do this to them?”
Jennifer let out a gulping sob. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Her words and tears melded together.
Chapter Seven
The turmoil of the night left Mark restless as he sat in a chair watching Jennifer sleep. Hours had passed since their heated discussion, and he still wasn’t any closer to wrapping his mind around the events of the day.
A tendril slipped across her cheek as she breathed steadily. Her belly rose and fell with each breath, her arm wrapped across it as if to protect the child within. Seeing her red-rimmed eyes and the way her cheeks drained of blood as they argued, Mark had urged them to take a break, urged Jennifer to get some sleep. In spite of what had happened, she was still a pregnant woman on bed rest. How he felt didn’t matter at all when compared to his need to protect her.
Still. He’d felt anger and so much resentment, when he’d found out. Now he just felt drained. She needed someone to take care of her, and he’d attacked her. Without thinking, he’d done nothing but add stress in a time when Jennifer was already vulnerable.
He hated himself for that.
But he didn’t hate how he felt. Or that he’d let her know. He just should have done it in a less emotional way. But now she slept, and he couldn’t close his eyes to save his own life.
Taking one last look at Jennifer, her face flushed, the lamp still lit beside her bed, he decided to take a walk. Locking the door to the apartment with the key she kept in a candy dish nearby, he headed out. A cool breeze swept over his face, and the balmy wind helped clear his thoughts. He inhaled the scent of near-autumn air, still tinged with the earthy smell of the past months but with the slightly damp, metallic smell of approaching winter.
He knew in his heart that she’d been trying to do the right thing. She feared she couldn’t take care of a child on her own, so she’d tried to do the best thing for the baby. Mark couldn’t accept that, though. He’d done little but think about Jennifer over the past few months. She lingered in his every waking moment. If it hadn’t been for Sally, he would never have known. The right thing would have been to tell him. They could be painting a nursery and deciding on furniture by now. He took a deep breath and held the air in his lungs as he strode on, barely noticing the surroundings.
Before Jennifer came into his life, he’d never felt he had enough time for a relationship. Sure, he dated some, but he spent an enormous amount of time working, trying to establish a practice. He avoided women who came on to him, avoided the grandmothers who had the perfect granddaughter for him.
And since Jennifer had walked out of his life, he’d avoided relationships for an entirely different reason. Every time he tried to date, over the past few months, he found himself comparing every woman to Jennifer. Her laugh, her sense of humor, the way she held his hand or looked into his eyes. He couldn’t imagine being with anyone but her. And all this from their few short days together. It made him wonder what life would be like if they’d had more time.
The bubbling river water danced over the polished rocks along the shore. Centuries of constant attention had probably broken the original boulders down into the pebbles which lay there today. He picked up one of the smooth stones. His thumb ran across the wet surface, and he rolled it in his palm and watched the glittery moon’s reflection disappear as it dried. He wound his arm up to toss it into the river, then thought better of it. Instead, he put it back where it’d been, close enough for the river to still reach it. And he finally knew what he had to do. He had to somehow win Jennifer’s heart.
Centuries of movement changed the rocks; how could he expect things to be so different after they’d been together so briefly? Somehow, Mark had to convince Jennifer they could be together. Be a family, live that happily-ever-after life. Convince her that he could provide it for her. Mark had to win Jennifer over because life without her felt miserable. And he didn’t have centuries to let things change on their own. With a renewed determination, he headed back to the apartment.