Joleen set three plates of eggs and bacon out. We were doing breakfast for dinner. Curtis wolfed his down and fixed those puppy eyes on her. She reacted properly and a blush crept up her neck. Oh brother.
"I'll eat later," I said and Joleen wrinkled her nose at me. I left the two of them alone and went to my corner of the loft, drawing curtains shut for privacy.
I curled up on my bed and pulled my headphones from the nightstand. I pulled up an audio book on my phone and set it in its cradle. I couldn't even tell you what it was about. Mercifully, my brain shut off and I was asleep before the next chapter.
Pounding woke me and I sat up, disoriented. The apartment was pitch black and I had no idea what time it was anymore. I cast my headphones aside and threw the curtain back. Someone pounded at the door again.
"Curtis?" I called out. He didn't answer. I let my eyes adjust to the light. It was very late, almost midnight, according to my phone. And I appeared to be completely alone in the apartment. What the hell?
I padded over to the door and tried to look out of the keyhole. My heart tripped at what I saw. I unlocked the four deadbolts and swung the heavy metal door open.
Dex stood before me. He was covered in sweat; blood caked the side of his face and splattered over the front of his white t-shirt under his cut. The dim light of the hallway cut shadows across his face, making him look deadly along with the gore.
How many more times could I do this? How many more times could I worry whether he was going to come back at all? And when he did, he looked like this. He looked like so many other men I'd seen and nursed. They were all tragic and heroic and beautiful and I wanted to save them all. But this one ... this one was mine. I knew I was damned for it.
"Will you let me in?" he said.
I nodded and held the door wide. He walked in and strode to the center of the room before he turned around. I quietly closed the door and locked it again before turning back to face him.
"I won't live like this," he said. His voice was cracked and raw, filled with the emotions of whatever happened today and the courage it may have taken for him to come back here.
"Dex ..."
"Let me get this out." He cut me off. "Ava, I need to be with you. And I'm selfish for it, I know that. I've brought you nothing but tragedy and hurt and almost got you killed. I'm the worst thing in the world for you. You've made your choices, you have your life and I've crashed back into it. I know I'm not being fair to you. I know all these things but, God help me, I don't care. I don't fucking care."
He reached me in two strides and my breath hitched when his arms came up and he placed them gently around me. I had to crane my neck to look up at his cruel, beautiful face. My emotions swirled within me. I loved this man. Couldn't live with this man. Was wrecked by this man. Would die without him.
"I won't make you anymore promises except for this one. I'm not leaving you again. You belong to me, Ava. We belong to each other. I'll do anything you ask of me except don't tell me to go. I won't. Never again. I've made my choice."
"What do you mean?" I couldn't breathe. A part of me wondered if any of this was real. Was I dreaming it all? But Dex McLain was real and strong and powerful and he was standing right in front of me telling me he loved me.
"Things happened tonight," he said and his voice cracked. My Dex. I put a hand up to explore the wound near his temple. It was superficial, a grazing wound. It rent his hairline and my heart shuddered to think what might have happened if he had leaned just a fraction of an inch closer to whatever lethal force had caused it. A bullet, of course. I'd seen enough of these types of wounds and worse.
"I can't tell you everything. Can never tell you everything. But because of it and a thousand other things I'm not worthy of you. I may be going to hell. I accept that. But what I did I did to keep you and everyone else I love safe now and forever. I can promise you that. But Ava, I'm not leaving. Do you hear me? You can call me the worst things you can think of and you'd be right about all of them. But you're mine and I'm done being patient. I'm done trying to be a good man."
He crushed his lips against mine and my body betrayed me as it always did. I was so well trained for him. My heart nearly beat out of my chest as his strong arms came around me, pulling me close. I sank into the kiss. He tasted of salt, sweat and tears. They were my tears and they joined the millions of others I'd cried for this man. Would keep crying for this man if he ever did stop kissing me. I was a liar and a hypocrite to think I could have ever let him stay away.
I pulled away first, and Dex's expression nearly broke my heart again. It was filled with love and longing and some desperate torture that I knew still haunted his dreams.
"I'll walk away from everything but you, Ava," he said and his voice was barely more than a whisper. "And that's the last promise I'll make you. I'll be sorry for the rest of my life that I didn't make it thirteen years ago."
It was in me to ask him what he meant. Would I make him say the words? He would turn his back on the club for me if that was my price for taking him back. I pushed past a lump in my throat and looked up at him, searching for the truth in his eyes. I found it just as I always did.
I snaked my arms around his shoulders and pulled him down to kiss me again. He whispered my name as his lips touched mine. As he lifted me into his arms and took me to bed, I knew my answer. There had only ever been one.
Dex. My Dex. Now and always, I was his.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Dex
Ava lay naked before me on the bed. The moonlight bathed her in a blue glow and her nipples rose and fell as I hovered over her. She brought her hands up over her head and spread her legs wide in invitation. My Ava. Her body belonged to me now and forever. I hadn't even touched her but already I could see the glistening wetness as she spread her thighs. I leaned down and kissed her there, lapping at her juices as she twitched and groaned.
"Please," she begged me. I wanted to hear her do that for the rest of my life. Beg for me. Let me possess her. Wring every drop of pleasure from her until she fell asleep sated and purring in my arms. Then I would let her sleep for a time and do it to her all over again.
I peeled off my clothes; my cock was stiff and hard and she licked her lips at the sight of it. God. She was beautiful and sexy and every inch of her was mine. She brought her knees up as I came to her, plunging myself deep, all the way to the root as she wrapped her strong legs around my hips.
"Say it," I whispered at her temple. I held myself still so I could feel her squirm in anticipation like she always did.
"Dex," she gasped and that's not what I meant.
"Say it." I nipped her ear.
"Yes," she whispered. "Always. Yes. I want you. Forever. Yes. I'm yours, Dex. I swear. I ... I love you."
Then I fucked her. We had all night for slow and gentle. Now I meant to claim her, drive myself into her over and over as she screamed my name and begged me not to stop. Because I wouldn't. Not now. Not ever.
I knew what I was. My soul may be damned for everything I'd done and maybe more to come. But that night, and every night, it was Ava who would bring me back from hell. And I would do the same for her.
She moaned and writhed and I flipped her so she straddled me. Her blonde hair fell over her eye and she shot me a bashful smile that nearly made me spill my seed right there just to see it. Then she seated herself on my cock and started that slow rhythm I loved so much. She threw her head back. I reached up to take her breasts. These were mine too. I held my palms flat, letting her pebbled nipples brush up against my rough skin. She ran her hands through her hair and arched her back, her body no longer able to go slow. I rolled her nipples gently between my thumb and forefinger, bringing each one to a long peak. The sensation drove her even madder as she pumped and thrust on top of me.
And then my Ava found her release. I felt her sweet pussy clench as she ground out her orgasm. She gushed for me when she came and that's what undid me right along with her. I grabbed her hips to keep her steady as I thrust up into her, filling her with my seed and hoping it might take root. Maybe not tonight, but there would be time for that now too.
We had nothing but time. Because I meant every word of what I'd said. I would walk away from everything but Ava ... for the rest of my life.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Two weeks later
"Let me do it." Ava smiled. She held the needle and thread in her hands. I leaned down and kissed her.
"Agh," Charlie bellowed from his bar stool next to us. "You two are worse than a couple of teenagers."
I swatted Ava on the ass and she squealed. "Careful," she said. "I'm trained to use anything as a weapon!" She brandished her needle and shot a withering look to Charlie.
I slid my cut and patch over to her. She took the seat next to Charlie and started to sew. I wanted to kiss the spot at the center of her furrowed blonde brow as she concentrated on her work. Her skilled fingers flew around the fabric. Then she leaned down and bit the last frayed ends of the thread and held the jacket up.
Sly came next to me and patted me on the back. "Put it on," he said. "We've all been waiting."
Ava slipped off her bar stool. She came behind me. She went up on her tiptoes to slide my jacket over my shoulders then she swatted me on the ass for good measure. My cock stirred at the plan I had to give her the same treatment as soon as we were alone again.