I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit and I knew it wasn't entirely rational on my part. I had wanted Sly to look out for her but I didn't want her too close to the club when I wasn't here myself. And I knew she wasn't wrong about Billy either. I wanted to tell her not to worry. It was in me to steer her thoughts back to her dream and how I planned to act them out and improve upon them when I got her alone again. I also knew I could only fuck her to distraction for so long.
"I know," I finally said. To her credit, she didn't press me for anything else. "Pack a bag. I'll pick you up when your shift's over tomorrow."
I heard her sigh but she didn't argue. Someday soon, I knew she might, but not today.
Billy and Sly got back just as I pulled into the Den parking lot with Ava. Their timing couldn't have been worse. She wouldn't give me details but I knew she'd had an exhausting shift and something or someone had put extra lines of worry under her eyes.
I shot a look to Sly but he kept his face neutral. Ava looked at each of us in turn as we walked into the bar together. I put a steadying hand at the small of her back. Billy wouldn't meet my eyes and that told me most of what I needed to know.
Shit.
"Come on," I whispered against Ava's ear and it thrilled me how my breath raised gooseflesh along the back of her neck. Exhausted as she was, I knew she wouldn't be able to resist giving herself to me if I asked. But I saw a flicker in Sly's eyes before he turned to head into his office. Business would have to come first.
Ava practically crumpled to the bed when I got her upstairs. The hollow expression in her face tugged at my heart. I loved what she did and hated it too. She was physically and emotionally spent after whatever death and destruction had rolled into Green Bluff General's E.R. last night.
She let me undress her. Her eyelids hung heavy, her limbs practically boneless.
"Mmm." She purred when I pressed a thumb into the arch of her foot and massaged her there. "You're going to give me a footgasm if you keep that up." She rolled to her stomach and the sight of her luscious ass was almost more than I could take. She climbed further up the bed and folded a pillow under her head. She lay on her stomach with her left leg bent. My beautiful angel. I ran my hand along the slope of her breast where it pressed against the mattress, down her rib cage making her twitch where she was slightly ticklish, then rested my palm against her round ass.
"Get some sleep, baby," I said, proud of my Herculean self-control.
"Mmm." She purred again and yawned, already half asleep. A line of worry still furrowed her brow. I leaned down, brushing her hair aside so I could kiss the nape of her neck; the downy blonde hairs there tickled my upper lip. She shuddered from my touch then settled back against the pillows. Then I pulled the sheets up to cover her as she started to snore.
Careful not to disturb her, I lifted myself off the bed and quietly closed the door behind me.
When I walked downstairs, Billy was nowhere to be found and the bar was dark and empty. I went to Sly's office and found him leaning against the window sill, staring out into the parking lot. I came to stand beside him.
"I take it things with Billy went about as bad as I feared."
Sly chewed his bottom lip but kept staring straight ahead. "I don't know how Blackie and your dad dealt with this shit sometimes. Who'd have fucking figured that dragging us out of the one percenter hell they did would make some things so complicated. Sometimes I feel like I'm running a damn sorority with all the backbiting, gossip and hurt feelings. Nobody fucking goes to prison anymore so maybe they don't get how this shit is supposed to work."
I took a breath, mostly to keep from smashing something. I think if Billy had been standing in front of me, it would have been his face.
"We vote the day after tomorrow," he said. "I laid everything out for him. He's being a little bitch about it."
I nodded. "I wish I could say I didn't see this coming."
"He's too damn stubborn or stupid or both to see what's best for him. Goddammit, Dex, Billy hates half of the shit he's got to deal with as V.P. I'm giving him the chance to focus on what he loves the best and you'd think I was telling him we were planning on cutting his balls off tomorrow."
Sly finally turned to look at me. "Hey, I trust you. I've said that a million times. But this stuff with Billy is nothing but a distraction we don't need. I'll play it however you want it. What I need to know, if it comes to a vote, do you think Billy's got any support?"
Sly shook his head. "You know he doesn't. But that fucker is going to make me humiliate him in front of the whole club. It doesn't have to be like this."
"I think it's time for Billy and me to have a little heart to heart," I said. Ava's thoughts on the matter had been bothering me more than I liked. She thought Sly was too close to Billy to see his naked ambition for what it was. I wasn't.
"At this point, I don't see the harm in trying. He's heading to Sacramento tomorrow. There's a fight venue I need him to check out. But he'll be back by morning."
I nodded. I hated the fact that it would cut into the two days I'd planned to spend with Ava, but the Billy situation needed to be handled once and for all. "I'll try to talk sense into him. He needs to understand what I've given up for this club. Once upon a time we were close. I can remind him of that in a way maybe you can't. Then, the day after tomorrow, you put it to the members. If that's the way he wants this to go down, then so be it. At least you and I have done every damn thing possible to make it easier for him."
Sly slapped me on the back and some of the lightness came back into his eyes. It was good. It was how things were supposed to be. Sly and I were meant to shoulder the burdens of the club together. I had no idea whether I could manage Billy any better than he did, but I agreed club harmony meant I had to try.
Chapter Seventeen
Ava
Dex woke me up with slow kisses as I nuzzled against his broad chest. We spent the day in bed and I was positively saddle sore but deeply sated. He looked down at me with such tenderness I thought my heart might burst. But I couldn't help but notice something else flicker behind his eyes and I knew it could only mean trouble.
"Did you tell Sly what I had to say on the subject of Billy?"
Dex evaded the question by kissing me on the nose.
"It's okay," I said, leaning up on one elbow. "God knows I bore you enough with my work stuff." The sheet slipped and exposed my breasts. Dex reached out with a languid hand and fingered each of my nipples, his eyes flashing with desire. I felt an answering heat in my core. He took my hand in his and brought it to his lips.
"What was it like over there?" he asked and I stiffened. Since our first conversation about my life during his absence, he hadn't asked me many questions. I think he sensed it was something I preferred to leave in the past. But it was part of me and he knew that. I shifted my weight so I lay on my back staring at the ceiling. Dex threaded his fingers through mine and brought my hand to rest against his chest. I could feel the strong, steady beat of his heart.
"Hot. Sticky. It smelled bad. I could never go more than a quarter mile in any direction unless I was riding in an armed transport. And I met some of the best people I've ever known in my life. I don't regret going, not for a single second. But I never want to go back."
"I'm sorry," he said. He ran his fingers along the inside of my arm, sending a shiver of pleasure up my spine. "I wish I'd known when you were there."
I shrugged. "It wouldn't have changed anything. I had enough people worrying about me. Plus, you had plenty of things to deal with where you were."
He nodded and stared at a point on the wall. "What about you?" I said. "What was it like for you in there?" I hadn't asked him many questions about his time either. In some ways, I sensed his way of handling it was much like what it was for me. Live in the now. Don't dwell on the past.
He raised a brow and met my eyes before he answered. "Hot. Sticky. It smelled bad. And I could never go more than a quarter mile in any direction unless I was riding in an armed transport. And I met some of the worst people I've ever known in my life. I regret every second that I wasn't here with you but there's no point in looking back."
I wanted to say I love you. But for the thousandth time, I stopped myself. It was something neither of us had been ready to bring ourselves to say to each other. I knew Dex was scared of spooking me and was at least partially justified. I could handle things if we lived in the moment. Things were still new between us. He was still firmly entrenched in club drama and I knew what that brought with it. It had nearly killed him and tore our world apart the last time around. I would never ask him to leave it behind for me. But I also didn't know if I could stay in that world with him for the rest of my life. So we didn't talk about it. We used sex to avoid it.
I looked at the clock. My shift started in an hour and I knew Dex wanted to catch Billy alone when he came back from wherever Sly had sent him for the day. Dex sighed as he realized the time too. Groaning, he stood and tugged at my arm.
"I need to grab a shower," he said and he practically dragged me out of the bed.
"What does that have to do with me?" I teased. I hadn't been able to take a solo shower in weeks except for the ones I took at the hospital. I knew if Dex could figure out a way to crash those too, he would.