Dex:Great Wolves M.C. Book One(21)

"You know," he started again, "I can't help it but a part of me has been pissed at you all these years for not fucking being here. Even though I know it wasn't your choice."

I nodded. "I get it. I do, man. If I hadn't got myself arrested on that cheap assault charge, maybe I wouldn't have been in a position to be such a juicy target to take the rap for Pagano's shit."

Sly shook his head. "You know that's not it. He would have found a way to pin it on you. Or it was only a matter of time before one of the rest of us got hauled in for something else."

And that right there was the other thing I'd been ashamed to admit to myself. A part of me wondered what would have happened if Sly had been the one arrested. I took the trip to Chicago, straight into Pagano's backyard for him. He was supposed to go but I volunteered at the last minute, seeing the opportunity to take Ava away for a little while. I didn't blame him, not really. How could I? But I'd be a damn fool and a coward not to acknowledge that I'd thought about it. The shadow that crossed his face told me he had too.   





 

He moved first. We slapped each other on the backs and I held him in a tight hug. It felt good and right and the thickness in the air evaporated. Sly was my brother in every way that mattered. It was time to look forward and not back.

He heaved a sigh and sat back on the edge of his desk.

"You know what has to be done," I said. We'd edged around the issue since I got back and I knew that was the other cause of this morning's problem.

Sly hung his head and nodded. "I know."

Whether he was behind the hit on the Franco kid or not, George Pagano had to be dealt with and soon. Not in theory but in fact. For now, it was enough that I knew Sly fully understood. The balance Sly had struck needed to change. And now there was yet another thing between us.

"So," I said, threading my thumbs through the belt loops of my jeans, "how pissed off is she?"

I arched a brow and looked up at the ceiling. Ava was up there, waiting for me. She and I were going to need a different kind of reckoning from this morning's events and my cock stirred at the thought of it no matter what kind of mood she was in.

Sly laughed. "She wouldn't talk to me so there's your answer. Mo said she was pretty quiet today and helped around the bar. Went upstairs before everyone came in for dinner."

"How long do you think I can keep her here?"

I pretty much wanted to tie her down if she tried to leave but I knew that wasn't a practical solution.

"Pagano's got to be watching you," he said. "You know that. It would be better if she'd just stay at the Den for a few days but I don't think that's going to fly with her."

I shook my head. "I feel like you know her better than I do now."

As soon as I said it, I realized I hated the truth of it. So maybe that was really the last thing between us that needed airing.

"Ava's kept her distance, Dex. Tried to carve out a life for herself. I've tried to be as good a friend to her as I know how to be. But she's still in love with you. Of that I have no doubt. But she's not the same girl you left and I think you've already figured that out. She learned how to live without you and it's going to take her some time to feel like she can trust the fact that you're back. And she may not get there."

I shut my eyes tight and nodded. "I don't want to hurt her. I did that before because I wasn't honest with her. I tried to protect her from the club and this life."

Sly came next to me and patted my shoulder hard. "And she got clobbered by it anyway. Probably harder because you did try to keep it away from her. But give her some credit. She's got steel in her back, Dex. But I need you. I need to know if this is what you want. No one, least of all me, would blame you if you wanted to make different choices for yourself this time around. Hell, in your place, I'd be tempted to put that girl on the back of my bike and ride to a place where nobody knew me."

"You breaking up with me?" I tried to joke but Sly's eyes were hard.

So he would give me an out if I wanted it. If I wanted to turn my back on the club, on him, he would let me go. Guilt burned like acid through me at the thought of it. Could I do that? Could I choose Ava over the club if that's what it took to keep her?

"It would kill me ... it would kill all of us if you left again. But there isn't a guy out there who wouldn't understand why you'd want to go, I don't think. And if I'm wrong, it's because there's also not a guy out there who's done time like you have. I need you, Dex, but I need you here one hundred percent. I need you as my V.P. and we both know what that's going to take."

I wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up. How could he, how could any of the club think I'd walk away from them? Every battle I'd fought had been for them. This club was part of my blood. I wouldn't know how to live without it.

But now that she was back in my life, I wasn't going to live without Ava again either. So I didn't answer Sly then and there. I met his eyes and nodded.

"She's waiting on me," I said instead. "If I don't haul ass up there, there won't be a choice to make."

Sly nodded and his face cracked into a smile. But questions remained behind it. If I had to make a choice between Ava and the club, he'd just told me where he stood. I swallowed hard then gave him a smile back. Then I turned and headed for the door.





Chapter Fifteen

Ava

When the door opened and Dex walked back in, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I wanted to be angry with him. I wanted to throw something at him and rail at him for leaving me again not knowing if and when he'd come back. But when his broad shoulders filled the doorway and he looked at me with that cockeyed smile and gleam in his eyes, something inside me melted. It was like the first time I saw him again after so many years away. It was dangerous. So dangerous to give into everything he wanted from me. I knew better. Of course I did. But he drew me to him like an orbital pull.   





 

I went to him.

Dex took a stride forward and enveloped me in his arms. I belonged there. I always had. There were questions between us. A million of them. But for now, I just wanted to feel the solid weight of his hands against my back. I tilted my head back and let him kiss me in that perfect way he did. His salty lips pressing lightly against mine for just an instant before he grew more urgent, letting out a sigh that was part primal groan as his own urges started to take over. He feathered kisses down my throat and made me drunk with it. I kept my head tilted back as he found the hem of my tank top and pulled it swiftly over my head. Then he slid down to his knees. Gooseflesh rose across my stomach as he ran his tongue over me and circled my belly button.

God. All day I'd rehearsed what I wanted to say to him over and over. Things had to be different. My eyes were open about what club life was like no matter how many times he and Sly would try to tell me times had changed. But all of it went straight out of my head as my focus moved to points lower down.

I swayed, almost losing my balance, but Dex's hands were on my ass, holding me against him. He reached around and undid the clasp of my jeans and my hands found their way to the top of his head as he sank lower. I was on fire from his touch. Beads of moisture pooled at the juncture of my thighs as he dragged my pants down, taking my panties with them.

Dex wasted no time. He slid my jeans off and had me standing naked before him. He looked up at me with such tenderness as I ran my hand over the top of his skull, smoothing his thick, black hair. He gave me just that moment, a look of adoration, before he brought his head forward and set himself to his purpose.

I gasped as his grip became firm on the back of my thighs. He pushed them, forcing me to stand with my legs spread wide apart as he knelt before me. He planted soft kisses over my mound. I shuddered from his touch; my sex began to throb. I was hot, impossibly wet, and nearly powerless to do anything other than surrender.

But oh, I wanted nothing more than this sweet surrender. I was a fool to think I could do anything other than give myself to Dex whenever he beckoned. It wasn't fair. How could he still know how to play me like an instrument? Was I that weak? Later. There would be time for talk and reason and all the things I wanted to say to him. For now though, I wanted nothing more than to keep feeling him feather the tip of his tongue against my most sensitive flesh. He coaxed and teased me, making me throb all the more for him until he finally fastened his lips around my swollen little clit and sucked me there.

I cried out and swayed backward, the sensation almost too intense as he sucked and stretched me wide, his tongue probing in and out. I thrust my hips forward, my body searching for the friction I needed to find my first release. It was like no time had passed at all between us. He still knew exactly how to turn me on and keep me there. I was his. He'd claimed me all those years ago. My body was sure, even if my head spun with doubt.

"Dex," I gasped. He ignored my pleas. He was merciless with his tongue, suckling and teasing me until my knees shook. My grip tightened against his head and I drove him deeper against me. He assaulted me with quick, expert flicks of his tongue. I gasped, crying out his name even as some corner of my brain knew how thin the walls of the Den really were. But he had me. He owned me in that moment and he had settled himself to the task of proving it, knowing he'd have me begging for more every step of the way.