We drove to the Den. I should have told him to meet me at my place. Here, it would be so much harder for me not to drown in memories and keep my head straight. My apartment was neutral turf. He'd never been there before. Dex was silent as he parked the bike, slid off and held out a hand to me. I pulled off my helmet and set it on the seat of the bike. I didn't take his hand but smiled and walked around him to the back door. He put a hand at the small of my back and it made me shiver.
He led me up the back stairs to the apartments above the club. They were a temporary place to crash for club members passing through or those who'd been kicked out of wherever else they lived. I was glad to go in this way. I didn't think I could handle walking through the Den and seeing any of the rest of the guys. I didn't know what any of this meant yet. I didn't want to face them.
We went into Dex's room. It held no trace of him. No pictures on the walls, nothing personal at all. And it wouldn't. They'd taken everything that belonged to him thirteen years ago. It tore at my heart to think about what he'd been through. What I'd been through. Most of which he didn't know. I didn't know if I had the strength to tell him. If I started, it could drag me down to a place I might never come back from. A place I'd fought too hard to keep at bay. It occurred to me the same might be true for him. And anyway, what could we say?
We said nothing. Dex closed the door behind him and turned to face me. I could see his pulse beating furiously above his temple. He hesitated, frozen for a moment as he stood before me. I exhaled. He took a step toward me. Then another. I tilted my head up. Heated blood coursed through me. He whispered "Baby" and closed the distance between us.
His hands hovered near my face just like they did the other night, like he was afraid if he touched me he'd wake up from the dream. I brought my hands up and closed them around his, feeling bone and flesh as I chased our dreams away. He leaned down and kissed me and the world fell away too. I had a million reasons to tell him no. To run. There had been so much pain between us. But in that moment, I needed Dex as much as I needed air in my lungs. I would have died if I found the strength to pull away.
He was slow and tender at first, letting me get used to the feel of him again, as if I needed it. This was Dex. He'd trained my body well all those years ago. I didn't forget. I sighed as he leaned against me, trailing soft kisses from my lips, along my jaw, down my neck. His hands slid under the hem of my t-shirt and I tilted my head back; my body swayed as I lifted my arms to let him pull it off.
He stood back to look at me. Then he peeled off his vest and threw his own t-shirt over his head. God. My Dex. This is what my mind's eye saw when I let myself dream of him. Him standing there with one shoulder dropped, his thumb threaded through the belt loop of his jeans, staring at me, his eyes twinkling with sin, a thick lock of hair hanging past his brow. He'd been strong before, well built. Now though, he was even broader; he had a fine patch of black hair mixed with just a touch of gray across his chest and a trail of black curls over his washboard abs.
He came to me again, pressing his lips against mine as he snaked his arms around me and lifted me. My legs opened and I wrapped them around his hips. A fuse lit when Dex set me back down on the bed. I needed to feel him. The barrier of our clothes seemed to burn my skin. I craved him. Starved for him. I fumbled with the snap on my jeans while he did the same. I cast them aside and lay under him in only my bra and panties. Then Dex was naked. His cock sprang free from the boxers he wore and I froze again. He was huge and hard and the sight of him put my own lust into overdrive. He hooked a thumb into the waistband of my underwear and started to drag them down.
Moisture pooled between my thighs. If I'd had any thought to hide how badly I wanted him, my body betrayed me. I was so wet, dripping for him. I gasped for air. And then Dex had my bra unhooked and I slid out of that too. He hovered above me, his eyes filled with both pain and tenderness and it tore me in two.
"Ava." His words were choked. He trembled with contained emotion and I realized something. It was torture for me to be away from him, but I'd been able to go on with my life. I'd been with other men. Dex had been frozen in time. This time was like his first time. I saw the urgent need in his eyes, his erection was like a steel rod, pressing against my leg. He was beyond the point of being able to control himself. I knew then I didn't want him to.
I put my hands up and cradled his face. "Yes," was all I managed to say. It was enough. I spread my legs wide in invitation. Dex let out a tortured sound and then he was on me. He pressed my knees flat and drove into me with all of the pent-up desire and longing the last thirteen years had stolen from him.
I gasped and dug my fingers into his shoulders. He would take what he needed from me and I braced myself to receive it. The fire raged within me too. I wrapped my legs around his hips as he thrust deep inside me, sheathing himself to the root.
He shuddered and held me close and froze again. And there I was, with my legs spread wide and Dex buried deep within me. My walls clenched around him and he groaned. He brought himself up, resting his weight on his hands as he looked down at me. I kept my thighs spread wide and slid my hand over his strong back, letting it rest on the curve of his rock solid ass.
Then Dex began to thrust inside me. For about two seconds, he tried to go slow. But the magnitude of his desire met the answering heat of my slippery cleft. He reared up once, then plundered me with his cock. All I could do was hold on and spread myself as wide as I could to take him in. I clawed at his back, trying to hold on as he set a punishing rhythm. He shifted me down the bed once when my head hit the headboard as he rammed into me. The swell of my desire matched his and I coated him with my own thick juices, only spurring him on more.
"Fuck me," I gasped. "Dex. Please."
As hard as he thrust into me, I wanted more. It was as if I were the one who'd been denied sex for all these years. It was like our first time all over again and my body's need to be claimed by him almost scared me. I was a wild, wanton thing, thrusting my hips upward, closing my legs around him as Dex took what he needed from me. He ended up having slightly more restraint than I did because my orgasm crested before his. As Dex slammed into me, I exploded from the inside out; my body shuddered around his, my sex pulsed and clenched as I screamed through my release. Somewhere in the back of my brain, I knew half the Den could probably hear me but in that moment I didn't care. I only cared about the pleasure Dex was giving me and my need to give it back.
I dug my fingers into Dex's back and buttocks and he held himself still while I found the friction I needed. When my orgasm started to wane, Dex could control himself no longer. My legs were turning to rubber so he reached back and grabbed my ankles in each of his hands. He raised them, setting them over his shoulders so now my legs were wrapped around his neck, spreading me impossibly wide as I experienced the last shudders of my orgasm.
Dex redoubled his efforts once he had me how he wanted me. It was heaven, ecstasy as he found his rhythm again. As he fucked me with abandon, the headboard slammed against the wall. Anyone below us or in the room next door would have no doubt what we were doing. Again, I didn't care. Let them hear. The idea of that added to the pleasure of what he was doing to me somehow. I was wicked and wild, letting go in a way I hadn't for so long.
"Yes," I gasped. "Dex. Please."
"Hold on, baby," he said. I felt Dex's balls seize and knew he was about to explode. The rational part of my brain realized maybe we should have used protection. But oh, I didn't want to. I wanted to feel every drop of Dex's desire. And I was covered.
And then Dex came. He spurted deep and hot inside me and somehow, I found a way to spread myself even wider to take it all in. I wanted it. All of it. I wanted him like this forever, it seemed. I would have let him do almost anything to me. Just like the way we were all those years ago. He still had the power to make me want him past the point of reason. My body still called out and responded to his. He could still make me burn for him, make me want to do anything and everything to please him. My body burned for his unlike it had for any other man.
In the time and distance between us, I'd convinced myself that all of this was a fantasy. I had remembered Dex as something more than he really was. Now, he'd coaxed my body into remembering this really was as fantastic as I thought it was. My body was built for Dex's. He could make me a slave to it if I let him. And oh, I wanted to let him.
As Dex thrust into me through the last gasps of his orgasm, my legs fell to the side and I nuzzled his neck. Finally, he slid out of me, leaving me coated with his seed and content for the first time in longer than I could remember. He folded himself around me, drawing me back against his chest, my ass tucked against his still throbbing member.
Our bodies had found their reckoning together. I knew we had a million things we would need to face once the blush of desire began to recede. For now though, I just wanted Dex-my Dex-to hold me and never let me go.
Chapter Eleven
Dex
I held Ava tight against me. I was afraid if I let go of her, she might float away and I'd know the whole thing was a dream. I'd wake up staring at the rusted springs of a top bunk and the clang against my cell bars as the morning watchman woke me for the chow line.