Basically, don’t let Evan touch what he considered his. Devlin fucking Ward was back, and just like before, my life was unraveling.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Juliana
Three days.
That’s how long it took for me to come to the conclusion that with Devlin so near, I wouldn’t be able to keep my distance. I found myself at his apartment, softly tapping my gloved fist against his door.
As soon as he opened the door, I rushed into his arms and kissed him. It was hard and angry, and I bit him until he bled and tugged at his hair until he growled.
I wanted him to feel the kind of love and pain I did, but in truth, the kiss only confirmed just what a crazy mess we were. Then I pulled away and pushed him back.
“We need to talk.”
He glanced at me with glassy eyes. His body was strung up with tension, and his cock was a hard bulge under his sleep pants. He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. There weren’t any breathing exercises that would extinguish the lust between us.
We sat on opposite sofas but faced each other. “There were times when King was really fucked up.”
He was silent. His expression was empty.
“And there were times that he seemed to be a lost kid. Which one was he? And who are you now?”
“I don’t think I need to tell you that—you know who I am now. I never pretended when we were together, I just withheld information that would hurt us.”
“It was information that made us who we were. It was something that changed me. Do you even understand how much I hated what I felt for you?”
He bit his lip and nodded. “I knew. I still know.”
“I don’t know how to give you up.”
“Then don’t.” He rose and joined me on the couch I sat on. “This is who I am. If I weren’t fucked in the head, I’d tell myself to run as far away from you as possible. But I’m a self-fuck, and I need you.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder and sighed. I felt like I’d always be at war with myself when it came to Devlin. I needed to find a way to accept my feelings and move on with him or walk away.
We sat for over an hour, my head on his chest and his hand in my hair. I felt safe. I felt at home. After a while, we settled into his bed and talked about the past two years. He told me about his mom and dad without having to worry about me finding out secrets that had already been revealed.
As he held me in his arms, I felt like we had a chance. It didn’t matter how anyone else viewed our love and how it formed. All that mattered was it was there and it was real.
“What’s the last thing you hear at night before you go to sleep?” Devlin’s breath tickled my ear.
I smiled. “Your voice,” I whispered, because although I spent years eluding him, I could never escape the alluring timbre of his voice, which unfurled in my mind as I lay alone at night.
“I hear your heartbeat.” He burrowed his head underneath my breast and sighed before he fell asleep.
~*~*~
I woke to thick fingers gliding across my clit. Devlin hovered over me, his knees keeping my legs spread, the muscles in his shoulder corded up, his forehead resting against mine. I was mesmerized by his eyes, my hips rotating and punching up to get closer to the fingers that were teasing me to paradise.
“Good morning,” I said in a soft sleep tone.
He grunted in response. It was as though he’d zoned out everything and was focused on the pleasure he was giving me. I palmed his hard cock; the heat and throb of his excitement thrilled me. I tilted my head enough to nip his bottom lip then soothe it with my tongue. He growled, his eyelids growing heavy as I stroked his cock.
He pushed two fingers into my pussy, fingered me as aggressively as I jerked him. My nipples beaded and sweat pearled on my skin, but still, we maintained eye contact. We’d inadvertently begun a battle of wills. Who’d break first? Whose hunger was stronger? Which one of us was so far gone we’d tumble over the edge with a few clever hand manipulations?
His fingers invaded me, digging deep and playing me expertly. My legs trembled as he added pressure of his thumb to my over-sensitized clit.
“Give it to me,” I demanded. He trembled before he relinquished his power and handed over his essence to me. My thumb swirled around the slick tip of his cock as it grew thicker and heavier, preparing for release.
He opened his mouth in surprise. Coming in hot, silky ribbons all over me. His fingers never stalled as he rolled his cum over my clit while he finger fucked me hard, the salacious move pushing me over the edge. My muscles locked up, my breath hitched, and everything went bright white as my orgasm rocked me.
As I drifted back, I heard Devlin mumbling against my neck. At first, I couldn’t comprehend the words, and then slowly I was able to make out, “Don’t leave, don’t leave. Just don’t fucking leave me.”