Devlin UnLeashed(37)

I looked up into his eyes, ready to go to battle, but I knew it wasn’t the time to argue with him. Choose your battles, Juliana. Especially, since Nicholas was searching for reasons to get me to leave. An argument between us would be just the ammunition Nicholas needed.

I turned and headed out of the kitchen. Knowing that leaving them alone wasn’t a good idea either, but if Nicholas wanted to push into the man’s life, he’d better be prepared for the hell that came with it.





Chapter Twenty-Two

Devlin

At least, he was man enough to look me in the eye.

Nicholas Wainwright was trying to do everything possible to fuck up what I had with Juliana.

“You know that was unnecessary. I’ve seen her in a lot less.”

I was across the room before I could talk myself out of it. My hand wrapped around his neck, lifting him and pushing him halfway across the counter in the process.

“Listen, you little fucking prick,” I growled from the amount of rage that consumed me. “Get your shit and get the fuck out of my house. You and Callahan think you know what I’m capable of, but trust me, it’s way worse.”

I gave him credit—the kid tried to fight back, but you couldn’t go to battle with someone like me without armor.

“She deserves better, and even you know that.” He could barely speak. And maybe he was right, but I wasn’t the guy who was going to let her go so she’d be happy. I was the guy who’d lock her in a room and go get my piece of sanity from her whenever I needed it. I wasn’t good for her, and throwing it in my face only made me angrier. I remembered the life I often imagined Juliana would have with him, and rejoiced when the asshole fucked up his chance with her. His coming into my house trying to take her away was not something I'd tolerate.

Nicholas grasped at my fingers, trying to loosen them. I hadn’t realized my clutch had gotten tighter, but just as I began to loosen my hold on him, Juliana raced in.

“What are you doing? Are you fucking crazy?”

She pushed her way in between us, glaring at me like I was some unknown intruder. She protected Nicholas from me with her body as a shield. Nicholas stood behind her, rubbing the bruises that were quickly appearing on his neck. Even through his supposed suffering, he had it in him to smirk at me. It took that gesture for me to realize he’d wanted to push me to this—wanted to show Juliana firsthand how unstable I was.

I turned around, running both hands into my hair as everything began to whirl. With a frustrated growl, my fist hit the wall, and it crumbled under my strength.

I heard a surprised gasp behind me but didn’t bother to look back. I didn’t need to see Juliana’s face, because her fear would further anger me. More at myself than anything else.

My only option was to leave the room. She had a few options, but in the end, she chose the one I feared most. She left with Nicholas.

~*~*~

My father’s evil had in no way caused my illness. That kind of anger and violence was deep-seated and ingrained from the beginning, but when it was intertwined with a disease that took away your common sense and jumbled every thought and action in your mind—you became a weapon of mass destruction. I understood this, because as he’d always hoped, I’d become his replica in so many ways I almost hated the sight of myself as much as I did him.

I’d become a quiet, reserved man. Many people took it as a dark, restrained violence. In actuality, it was the only way I knew to control things—hide them. I was okay with people seeing me as a violent man. At least they feared my strength, but I wasn’t okay with people knowing I struggled with reality. There was a process to every word I uttered. Filtering things through my mind, sometimes for far too long in order to respond in what I hoped was a sensible way.

My response to Nicholas was completely sensible. He threatened the only thing I valued in my life, and Juliana couldn’t see I was protecting us. Watching Nicholas as he shoved her overnight bag into his trunk and open the passenger side for her didn’t break me mentally, but it tore me up emotionally. I’d always thought I’d wanted this. I wanted the passion and outrageous feelings I had when I was with Juliana, but I was wrong. The downside of emotions was the way you were gutted when the person you needed the most walked away.

Go after her, King, a soft voice encouraged.I spun away from the window as Nicholas’s car left a cloud of dirt in its wake.

My mother stood in the far corner of the room. After she had died, I’d prayed to have her back, but not like this. Not some random mind-fuck where it felt so real to have her here... but she wasn’t. I often felt like having her alive in my head kept me from getting medicated. She was the only positive voice in my head, and if she disappeared, I was afraid Damien would get his wish. Wipe my mother from my memories and I’d be the man he needed me to be.