He nodded. His hands were buried in his pockets, and he looked extremely anxious about me leaving. I knew he worried my dad would talk me into going back to Chicago, but the past three months with Devlin had helped me learn to take what I wanted from life, and for once, I was happy.
Devlin watched me as I loaded the car and didn’t wave back to me as I pulled onto the dirt road that led to the highway.
I drove back to my place in a daze. With Trace gone, Claire had moved back in with her parents because our lease was ending at the end of the month. I had to pack what little I still had in my room and put the furniture up for sale.
My hands tightened on the wheel as I thought of how I was going to break this huge deviation to the plan my dad made for me. It was mostly my fault. Years ago, I’d been so totally broken, he’d stepped in and taken control. And I'd let him.
“Jules? Jules?”
I sat in a corner of my room curled into a ball, staring at nothing and seeing everything. My dad had come in countless times trying to get me to come down to eat, take a shower, or just speak to him. I was making him nervous and scared, but I couldn’t help it. There were no words to say. There was no hunger inside for anything, including company.
“I ordered your favorite dinner from that restaurant downtown.” He sounded so hopeful. Like something that brought me joy would break through the pain and shame I felt and make me… me again. It wasn’t going to happen. My life had changed courses after a stupid argument with my boyfriend and a bad business deal by my dad.
The last three days of being back in my room—in my home—had been filled with a series of what could’ve been done differently. But ‘should’ve’ and ‘could’ve’ were a guilty person’s way of punishing themselves. I didn’t want to punish Nicholas for letting me leave that party alone in the dark hours of the early morning. I didn’t want to punish my dad for making a corrupt business decision that caused his daughter to be kidnapped. The only person I wanted to punish was myself. For what had happened to me and for the mixed feelings I had about the man who changed everything.
I was too young to understand my emotions back then. Too vulnerable to assess the situation for what it was. In two short weeks, a complete stranger had kidnapped me, stole my soul, and brought me back empty.
It took years to fill up that empty shell, but who I was before was gone. I’d slowly created a new persona. A person who pretended to have her life in order, when really she’d just handed it over to her dad. It helped ease his guilt and anxiety. It helped me to focus on his goals for me because mine had dissipated.
I just didn’t care enough about my life to make goals and follow through, so I fulfilled Dad’s goals for me. It had taken years of therapy and hours of reflection in my mom’s garden before I started to feel somewhat normal.
Dancing had carried me through it all. It was the only part of the old me that remained, and I loved it. It loved me and made me feel a way nothing and no one else could. Dad indulged it for a while until he thought I should take my studies more seriously.
The moment he tried to take dance away from me was when I realized I really did want to get a grip on my life and live it my way. I’d let my dad control my life because it felt safe, but without dance, it suddenly felt like a cage.
Juliana
It was a beautiful May afternoon as I walked on the stage and accepted my diploma. I was happier than I’d been in years, mostly because Devlin helped me see where I wanted to be in life. The diploma in my hand didn’t signify my advancement into the business world—it signified the end of my obligation to my dad.
I wasn’t going to be the dutiful daughter, following in his footsteps and making responsible life choices, as he would put it. I wanted to dance, and my secretly obtained minor in dance would give me the courage to finally do what made me happy.
As I waved in the direction of the spectators, two men acknowledged me.
Devlin, dressed in a dark gray suit and white shirt. Stray tendrils of his dark hair blew in his face as he nodded at me. He didn’t do enthusiastic, so I was not surprised when he returned my wave with that subtle movement.
Oddly enough, it took until this moment for me to notice a similarity in my dad and Devlin. Similarly, Robert Callahan sat rather stiffly in his seat, raising one finger in acknowledgment of my greeting.
Dad was a serious man with strict rules. Get an education, no parties, or drinking, and only associate with suitable men.
Three months with Devlin, and I knew he was not what my father would consider suitable. Not that he didn’t fit the bill financially, but there was a quiet darkness in Devlin that my dad wouldn’t appreciate. He was a notoriously ruthless businessman, and most people were aware of it. I knew Dad was aware of who Devlin Ward was, and he’d come up lacking for his little girl.