He released a breath of relief as he squeezed his eyes shut and kissed me back. His kiss was deeper and more consuming than mine. When he began moving, I got lost in my head, concentrating on the feel of his skin beneath my fingertips and his flesh intimately connecting to mine—stretching me, molding me to fit him perfectly.
He whispered to me. Told me how desperately he loved me. How complete I made him feel. I felt connected to him emotionally and sexually. He made love to me in a way that touched me deeper than the physical.
We came simultaneously, clinging to sweat-drenched limbs with whispered moans and a heart-shattering explosion of an orgasm that brought tears to both our eyes.
The openness he displayed would live in my soul because I knew that night he had given me a part of him that he feared. He let down his guard and exposed his heart to me, and I’d protect it with everything I had.
Chapter Fifteen
Devlin
She’s testing me.
Juliana purposely played up on my jealousy—used it to bring the aggressor out of me. Playing a dangerous game that could implode on us both.
I watched her flirting with Eric, the last bartender left in the club. We'd had a pretty uneventful week, and that's the way I liked it. I hadn’t expected her to show up tonight, and at first I’d been glad she did. Having her near brought me peace, but as the night progressed, I noticed her spending way too much time cozying up with one bartender in particular.
I stood in VIP, looking down at her. My hands were fisted in my pockets as Eric leaned on the bar and pushed a hand into her hair. She leaned in, too. My heart rate sped up, and a pounding began in my head as my rage built.
I warned you. They’re all like this. Whores! I saw Damien’s shadow in the corner of my eye, but I refused to turn and look at him. I screwed my eyes shut and chanted, “He’s not real. He’s not here.”
You’re not an idiot. You see it. You see me. Stop using that excuse to deny what you see as clear as day. Damien’s voice muddled my thoughts. His words hindered my ability to see past the blurred lines of my sanity. I saw Eric lean over and press his lips to Juliana’s, and I lost control.
As I made my way down the stairs, the empty club filled with people. Tons of moving bodies subsequently barricaded me from getting to Juliana. The floor was nonexistent—I was walking on air. It was a nightmare, but I knew I was awake. People watched Juliana and Eric, and then ridiculed me for the mockery she was making of our relationship.
Why was it taking so long to get to them?
She was never meant to be yours, a woman whispered as I passed her.
Should’ve gotten rid of her years ago, Damien said from somewhere behind me.
Everyone had a fucking opinion. Everyone told me shit I didn’t want to know.
The strobe lights flashed, further disorienting me. By the time I made it to the bar, my palms were clammy, and there was a constant thudding in my head. I reached out to push them apart and came up empty.
“Devlin?” Juliana stared at me cautiously, and Eric froze with a look of concern on his face. I ran a hand through my hair and took a calming breath that didn’t help.
“You!” I pointed at Eric and he furrowed his brows. “Get the fuck out of here.”
He looked to Juliana but made no move to leave.
“Get the fuck out of my club!”
Juliana gave him a signal to leave us, but he stalled.
“Are you sure? Maybe I should—”
“Go,” she insisted, and he nodded before walking out.
She turned to me and tried to take my hands in hers, but I pulled away. “Devlin…”
I cupped her face abruptly and pulled her in close. “Why’d you let him touch you?”
“He never touched me, Devlin.”
“I watched you. Do you think I didn’t see you here flirting with him all night? Then you let him shove his tongue down your throat.”
“You’re confused. Have a seat and I’ll get you some water.”
“Don’t try to fucking placate me. I know what the fuck I saw!”
She stared at me with wide eyes.
“Everyone saw it.” I gestured around the room, but it was empty. The sea of people dissolved, and I blinked a few times to adjust to the abrupt visual shift. “Fuck, no! Get a grip, get a grip. Get a fucking grip, Devlin.”
I screwed my eyes shut and hit my palms against my forehead repeatedly. I thought of Damien and how’d I’d witnessed him lose grip on reality countless times.
But me? I should be able to know when I was hallucinating. I’d spent so much time watching that disease take over Damien’s mind that I would know if I had it. Right?
“Hey.” Juliana wrapped her small fingers halfway around my forearms, trying to pull my hands away from my head. “Devlin… It’s okay. It’s okay. We’re okay.”